


Smalls

by jasperthewriter



Category: Newsies - All Media Types, Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: Angst, Crying, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Kisses, Lots of Crying, M/M, Trans Jack, Trans Male Character, Trans davey, Violence, alberts a demiboy, be safe yall, cursing, el has quite a mouth, elmer and smalls brotp, hjb background for greys references and also avery, it will probably have a happy ending, itey is a sweetheart i love him, no one writes about smalls, shes such a sweetie, so I will, trans albert, uuhhhhh also cuddles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-11
Updated: 2018-01-11
Packaged: 2018-11-23 15:05:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 22
Words: 35,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11404902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jasperthewriter/pseuds/jasperthewriter
Summary: Does anyone really know Smalls?Or: How much angst can Jas fit in a single ficScreen Names:JackyBoi- JackBrooklynFTW- SpotLiveLoveCoronas- RaceRomeHO- RomeoSpeccy- SpecsDavidJacobs- take a wild guessUrNotMyDad- KatherineCruchPotato- CrutchieElmStreet- ElmerTakenLightly- SmallsShutUpAlbert- AlbertPatches- BlinkMushedUp- Mush





	1. The Start

**Author's Note:**

> Race and Spot own a gym called The World. Most of the Newsies work there and Smalls works out there. She stays out of everyone's way until she can't. This is the story of Smalls, as I see her. Perfectly Imperfect and not to be Taken Lightly.

Everyone loves Smalls.

Why wouldn't they?

She always had a smile to share, and her smiles were infectious. When she smiled, everyone else did too. A smile from her would make everyone's day better. She was lots of things. Whatever the boys needed. 

A friendly shove in the right direction for those who aren’t quite brave enough to recognize the signs themselves. 

Someone to come to whenever someone needed girl advice. Which to be honest wasn't much, but it still happened occasionally. 

(And she has an  _ insane  _ alcohol tolerance which means she ends up taking care of those who are lightweights, *cough cough* Spot and Albert)

And speaking of being a shoulder to cry on and Albert... she'll never be done listening to him whine. 

But she does it all gladly. At least it seems like she does. But her story starts at the beginning.

* * *

 

Smalls had just moved to New York City, and was looking for a gym to use when she stumbles across "The World". It looks decent enough, if a little shabby around the outside edges, and the inside is immaculate. So she gets a membership and quickly integrates herself in. She doesn't try to make conversation with any of the others who are there at the same time as her, no matter how friendly or attractive they are. She gets in, works out, and leaves. 

The issue with this is that there are lots of rumours circulating about her past with the staff. It has become a sort of game for them, trying to guess at her “backstory” and sharing ideas with each other and speculating together. 

_ Messages in GC: Santa Gay _

**_JackyBoi:_** i bet shes a ninja

**_BrooklynFTW:_ ** jack pls stfu im working

**_LiveLoveCoronas:_ ** speakin of """"work""""" get ur ass to the back storage closet

**_JackyBoi:_ ** gay

**_RomeHO:_ ** bithcc this is the gayest gc ever whats ur point

**_JackyBoi:_ ** this is bi erasure

**_Speccy:_ ** this is bi erasure

**_RomeHO:_ ** ok but consider this,,,,,,,,,,, its gay

**_LiveLoveCoronas:_ ** wait go back to the ninja thing for a sec

**_JackyBoi:_ ** RIGHT i almost forgot. shes a ninja for sure

**_UrNotMyDad:_ ** fo' sho

**_JackyBoi:_ ** ,,.,.,.pls

**_BrooklynFTW:_ ** what

**_DavidJacobs:_ ** don’t worry about it, it’s an inside joke

**_Speccy:_ ** wait who changed the gc name

**_CrutchPotato:_ ** lets see who never shuts up about santa fe and is gay

**_JackyBoi:_ ** _  this is bi erasure _

**_Speccy:_** _this is bi erasure_

 ** _BrooklynFTW:_** wait jack arent you working rn

**_JackyBoi:_ ** ok but im working the desk, listen, specs is lifeguarding

**_Speccy:_ ** i h8 u

**_BrooklynFTW:_ ** specs 

**_Speccy:_ ** yeah yeah

**_CrutchPotato:_ ** also shes not a ninja

**_JackyBoi:_ ** shes short and fast

**_BrooklynFTW:_ ** dont make me confiscate ur phone 

**_Speccy:_ ** get rekt

**_RomeHO:_ ** hahahh specs got his phone yanked

**_LiveLoveCoronas:_ ** romeo........

**_RomeHO:_ ** UVE BETRAYED ME

**_RomeHO:_ ** the next person to text in this chat while they are still working is getting their phone taken off them everytime they clock in for A Month -spot

**_BrookylnFTW_ ** _ has changed the chat name to "Who Runs The World?" _

**_LiveLoveCoronas:_** THE GAYS

**_BrooklynFTW:_ ** BIG MISTAKE

**_UrNotMyDad:_ ** ooooo u better run race theres trouble in the conlon-higgins house

**_DavidJacobs:_ ** wait spot, are you and race dating??? 

**_UrNotMyDad:_ ** HHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

**_BrooklynFTW:_ ** watch urself kath

**_RomeHO:_ ** *avoids question*

**_BrooklynFTW:_** how the hell did u steal ur phone back so fast

**_LiveLoveCoronas:_ ** ROMEO I STG IF U EVER BRO-LOVED ME YOU WOULD KEEP UR TRAP SHUT

**_RomeHO:_ ** race stole it for me out of ur pocket while u were sucking face

**_LiveLoveCoronas:_ ** UR DEAD TO ME

  
  
  


It was two days later that Smalls showed up a bit later than planned and was almost through her workout when Spot walked up and tapped her shoulder. She pulled out her headphones and turned to face him, 

“I know it’s closing time, but I’m almost done I promise, just ten more minutes,” she interjected before he could even say anything. 

He was nodding along as soon as she finished speaking, “Just come find me in the office whenever you finish so I can lock up behind you, okay?”

She put her headphones back on and flashed him a thumbs up and one of her winning grins then turned back to her workout. 

* * *

 

Twenty minutes later she redoes her ponytail and sticks her water bottle in her mouth, walking towards the office to find Spot, one of the owners of the gym. She follows a few signs to the administration area of the building and hears soft voices coming from behind one door. She pushes it open slowly, as it was already cracked open she figures she can just go in, tell Spot she’s done and get out of there before it gets too much later. 

Spot however, is not in the office. 

Two boys are in the office. 

_ Jack,  _ she thinks is the name of the taller one. Well she thinks he’s taller. Smalls can’t really tell because currently the smaller one is in his lap on one of the couches with his fingers threaded through Jack's’ hair, laughing softly against his lips. 

It is an _intensely_ _personal_ moment and she quietly backs out of the room, pulling the door closed behind her. She wait ten seconds and knocks loudly then waits. 

“Yeah?” a voice calls out, and she pushes into the room. Jack is standing now, leaning against a countertop, and the smaller boy is still sitting on the couch. 

Smalls notes how tousled Jack’s hair is and slight red mark on the side of his neck and smiles to herself. 

“I’m looking for Spot? He said to tell him when I was done so he could lock up,”

“Ah okay,” the smaller one says, “I think he went outside for a smoke. There’s an alleyway he uses if you go out this door and turn right. He should be there,” he finishes, smiling warmly at her and gesturing to a door across the room. She returns his smile and walks out the door.

* * *

 

“Watch it!” Someone calls and she ducks to the side as Spot slams some guy into the brick wall next to the door and throws a punch, which the guy grabs and shoves Spot back, punching with his right hand. 

_ Righty,  _ Smalls notes, adjusting to the environment she’s walked into, figuring she’s going to be fighting him in a second unless Spot makes a miraculous comeback. 

She ducks her head back in the door and yells for Jack to get out here, then turns back in time to see Spot fall back and hit the ground  _ hard.  _

The guy he was fighting starts to walk forward but Smalls steps between them, pushing the guy to a stop with a hand on his chest, 

“You really don’t want to do that.”

“Man, get the fuck off me, this isn’t about you!”

She doesn’t move, but he keeps trying to press forward, and at this point Jack is outside and running over to Spot to help him up. 

“Jack stop it, you gotta find Race, I don’t know where he went, no listen I’m fine don’t worry about me you hafta find Race” Spot is rambling and holding on to the front of Jack's shirt like it’s a lifeline. 

“Yeah okay but we gotta get you out of here first. Didn’t Race go home?”

“He was waiting outside for me and then they jumped me when I walked out, Jack you havta find him-” he breaks off, coughing against Jack. 

This whole time, Smalls is standing as a barrier, listening to Spot. 

“Is that true?”

“Hey, he was just waitin’ for him so they could make out, an’ that’s not right”

“Oh ok, great,” Smalls replies, cracking her knuckles and then pushing the guy back towards the wall. 

“What do you think you’re doing!”

“Fighting you, homophobic ass,” she steps forward and throws a punch right onto his nose, which crunches under her fingers. He stumbles back and grabs at the wall for support, swinging wildly with his other hand which Smalls catches and twists behind his back, turning him so his back is to her, then yanks up, forcing him to his knees. She shoves him forward and grabs the back of his jacket, dragging him up the wall and scratching up his face. He whirls around to face her, stepping forward with his left foot, making her anticipate a right handed punch when he shifts his weight and strikes her in the center of her ribs with his left hand. She stumbles coughing and he comes after her, getting a few more hits in before she puts her guard up again and kicks him in the crotch, putting him back on his knees. She yanks him up bodily and holds him against the wall with her left hand and starts throwing punches to his face with her right. 

 

Jack is slightly concerned for the DeLancey the girl has jacked up against the wall, but for the moment he’s more worried about Spot and Race. Figuring that the girl has Morris pretty much under control, he sets Spot down on the couch in the office with Crutchie, and after explaining the situation, and making him promise to  _ not let Spot back out of the office _ , hurries back out to see the girl backing away from Morris, now on the ground, shaking out her hands before turning and jogging to the corner, doubling over and coughing hard before spitting into the gutter and straightening up, Jack hurrying to catch up.  _ Now _ he’s worried about her. But she bolts down the alley before he can ask if she’s okay. 

“Dammit,” she’s cursing under her breath and kneeling by a person on the ground when Jack finally catches up. It doesn’t take much to figure out that the figure is Race, and he’s out cold. 

“Keep an eye out for me okay? I don’t know where the other guy went,” it takes Jack a second to figure out she’s talking to him but he agrees and forces his eyes away from Race and sweeps the alleyway without seeing any trace of Oscar, the other DeLancey brother. 

He glances back to them and sees the gashes across Races’ cheekbones and winces in sympathy. Jack has been on the receiving end on the DeLanceys’ brass knuckles enough to know it isn’t a picnic. The girl’s hands shake slightly, but move carefully across Race’s body, noting the abrasions on his face and hands, and the dried blood under his nose as well as the blood seeping into his hair. 

“Should I call 911?” The girl shakes her head, 

“Nothing’s broken, except maybe his nose, and he doesn’t need stitches, so there isn’t any immediate danger unless he has a concussion, which I can check for once we get back to the office where there’s light,” she looks up at Jack, who nods, and helps her carry Race back to The World and into the office, where Spot is pacing and Crutchie is trying to convince him to sit down. When Jack and Smalls come into the room he races over and, following Smalls’ order, clears off the table, where they set Race. Spot vaguely hears the girl asking Jack about a first aid kit and he goes to get it while she flicks on the secondary lights, illuminating the whole room clearly. When Jack comes back with the kit and the girl opens it up and moves to Race, he blocks her and meets her gaze with steel in his eyes. 

“Look, I don’t know you but thanks for your help but we can patch ourselves up just fine,”

“Spot,” Jack mutters from the corner, where he was talking to Crutchie, no doubt giving him the rundown. 

“Look, I’m sure you’re a nice kid, but how old are you? You aren’t any more qualified than any of us and we’s can look after ourselves,”

“If you want me to leave I will, but I’ve got my undergraduate degree in Nursing and I work at the hospital two blocks over so honestly, I think it’s in your best interest for me to stay”

Crutchie and Jack look at her incredulously, and Spot nods shortly and moves aside. Smalls steps forward with the first aid kit and starts working on Race before turning back to the boys and saying, 

“By the way, my name’s Smalls” 

“Jack,”

“Crutchie,”

She nods at them, noting how she was wrong before, they were about the same height with maybe a half inch difference, and turns back to Race as he groans and blinks blearily up at her, shifting on the tabletop. 

“Stay down,” she advises “This’ll hurt, not much but it will sting like a fucker,” she warns before pushing his hair back from his forehead and starting to clean the broken skin there. 

She grimaces and Jack laughs, with a nervous edge to it, 

“Squeamish, Smalls?” 

“No,” she replies shortly and Crutchie frowns, 

“Are you okay?”

She gestures loosely to Race, “I’m better than he is.” She does stop for a moment and rips two small pieces of gauze off a larger piece and rolls them into two small tubes, handing one to Spot, 

“Stick it in your mouth, against where your teeth cut up your mouth when he caught you on the right side,” she explains as he looks confusedly at her. 

“How’d you know about that?” 

She just smiles at him tiredly and rolls her eyes.

“Go ahead and patch yourself up, as long as you stay conscious I’m not really worried about you. So Jack and Crutchie,” they both look up, “Keep him awake, talking, and Spot, don’t fall asleep until I can check you for anything major okay?”

All three boys nod and she turns back to Race, slipping the other roll of gauze into her mouth and wincing slightly. But Jack, Crutchie, Spot and Race are all distracted. So no one notices. And so it begins.

* * *

 

_ The next day _

_ New messages in chat: Who Runs The World? _

**_BrooklynFTW:_ ** Boy do i have a story for yous

**_RomeHO:_ ** spill


	2. The Invite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smalls gets an invite, Crutchie is forgetful and we meet more friends!   
> TakenLightly: Smalls  
> ElmStreet: Elmer  
> ShutUpAlbert: Albert  
> Patches: Blink  
> MushedUp: Mush

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok i just realized i didnt make this clear but Smalls, Elmer, Blink and Mush all work at the same hospital but with different jobs. Elmer and Smalls live together and are not dating and Blink and Mush live together and are dating. I'm gonna try to update every week but i make no promises.

_ Chat: Who Runs The World? _

 

**_BrooklynFTW:_** Basically, Smalls is not to be messed with and she saved our asses

**_Speccy:_** so what im hearing is,, shes a gd ninja

**_JackyBoi:_** EXACTLY

**_RomeHO:_ ** im kinda scared of her tbh

**_LiveLoveCoronas:_ ** me too man

**_CrutchPotato:_ ** I like her. we should invite her to the next party

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** i agree i need to meet this chick

**_LiveLoveCoronas:_ ** i too would like to interact while not unconscious

**_Speccy:_ ** ive always wanted to meet a real life ninja

**_CrutchPotato:_ ** ok great! jack invite her to the party on saturday next time you see her

**_JackyBoi:_ ** hold on, why me?

**_UrNotMyDad:_ ** bc ur just so charming

**_JackyBoi:_ ** oh right i forgot

 

The next day, Tuesday, Jack sees that someone, probably Crutchie, has put him on desk duty. Presumably so he can ask Smalls to come to the party. Except Smalls never comes in. He checks with Specs, who worked the desk that morning, but he didn’t see her either. No big deal, he’ll catch her tomorrow. Or the next day. 

 

* * *

 

 

She doesn’t come back to the gym that week. Crutchie suddenly remembers he has her number and texts her on Thursday. 

 

_ PM with  _ **_TakenLightly_ **

 

**_CrutchPotato:_ ** hey smalls!

**_TakenLightly:_ ** this is… Crutchie?

**_CrutchPotato:_ ** yeah! the boys are fine, dw about them

**_TakenLightly:_ ** can i inquire why you’ve texted me then? im working…

**_CrutchPotato:_ ** oh im so sorry! let me know when your shift ends, ill tty then

 

_ Chat: Who Runs The World? _

 

**_CrutchPotato:_ ** i have texted Smalls!

**_JackyBoi:_ ** this whole time,,,,, u had her number

**_CrutchPotato:_ ** _ i forgot _

**_RomeHO:_ ** so what did she say????

**_Speccy:_ ** can she come

**_CrutchPotato:_ ** she is. working and i will talk to her after her shift

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** where did u say she worked?

**_JackyBoi:_ ** _ no _

**_JackyBoi:_ ** _ u are not allowed to harass her at work _

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** listen

**_CrutchPotato:_ ** dw albert i’ll make sure shes there

 

_ PM with  _ **_CrutchPotato_ **

 

**_TakenLightly:_ ** done, just got home

**_TakenLightly:_ ** shit just looked at the time, ur probs asleep 

**_CrutchPotato:_ ** dw dw i wasnt asleep

**_CrutchPotato:_ ** so, me n the gang are having a party on Friday night, if you’d like to come? everyone wants to meet ya

**_TakenLightly:_ ** sure. but, whose “the gang” just u jack race n spot?

**_CrutchPotato:_ ** haha um no, its quite a big group

 

_ Chat: Who Runs The World? _

**_CrutchPotato:_ ** yall can i add smalls into this chat so she can meet yous?

**_DavidJacobs:_ ** crutchie its two am

**_JackyBoi:_ ** crutch, go tO SLEEP

**_JackyBoi:_ ** but its fine with me

 

_ Chat: Smalls Has A Hero Complex Pass It On _

 

**_TakenLightly:_ ** guys the ppl i helped out invited me to a party send help

**_ElmStreet:_ ** its….,.,., so early

**_MushedUp:_ ** haha im still on call, kill me

**_Patches:_ ** shouldnt have become a doctor

**_TakenLightly:_ ** _ FOCUS _

**_ElmStreet:_ ** wait will there be cute boys at said party

**_TakenLightly:_ ** bih u cant tag along

**_ElmStreet:_ ** smalls. I need to tag along. I gotta get back in the game!

**_TakenLightly:_ ** u can tag along to the next one

**_Patches:_ ** DONT SMALLS

**_ElmStreet:_ ** This Agreement Is Binding

**_MushedUp:_ ** for the love of god

**_Patches:_ ** pls go tf to sleep elmo

**_ElmStreet:_ ** DONT

**_TakenLightly:_ ** boys,,,.,., dont fight

**_MushedUp:_ ** careful kiddos or she’ll beat you up. havent u heard?? shes a Hero

**_ElmStreet:_ ** an inspiration to the youth of New York

**_Patches:_ ** i would love to add on, but i would more love to be asleep right now

**_ElmStreet:_ ** patches that was excellent english and i commend u

**_TakenLightly:_ ** dont fight

**_TakenLightly:_ ** blup

**_MushedUp:_ ** blup

**_ElmStreet:_ ** blup

**_Patches:_ ** … blup

**_TakenLightly:_ ** sleep well babes

 

_ Chat: Who Runs The World? _

 

**_RomeHO:_ ** now that its a reasonable hour

**_Speccy:_ ** shes not homophobic or transphobic or anything right

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** or ableist? 

**_JackyBoi:_ ** i mean she walked in on me n crutch kissing and didnt say anything

**_BrooklynFTW:_ ** she also called morris a “homophobic ass”

**_CrutchPotato:_ ** SHW WHAT

**_CrutchPotato:_ ** WHEN

**_JackyBoi:_ ** the night of the Incident, she walked into the office, saw us, left, and then knocked

**_Speccy:_ ** considerate

**_CrutchPotato:_ ** ND U DIDNT TELL ME

**_JackyBoi:_ ** its okay dude, we didnt shut the door we were asking for it

**_CrutchPotato:_ ** thats so awk

**_RomeHO:_ ** did she respond abt the party yet? 

**_CrutchPotato:_ ** shes coming

**_UrNotMyDad:_ ** Add her!! ths chat needs more girls

**_CrutchPotato:_ ** okie

**_LiveLoveCoronas:_ ** hang on a sec

**_RomeHO:_ ** ??

_ User  _ **_LiveLoveCoronas_ ** _ has changed their screen name to  _ **_TheRealPepe_ **

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** why r u like this that is such an stale meme

 

_ User  _ **_CrutchPotato_ ** _ has added  _ **_TakenLightly_ ** _ to Chat: Who Runs The World? _

 

**_JackyBoi:_ ** hey smalls!

**_TakenLightly: …_ ** for future reference, this is much larger than “””a gang””””

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** u called us a gang??

**_TheRealPepe:_ ** i am the leader hello smalls

**_TakenLightly:_ ** thats such a stale meme oh my god

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** i like her she can stay

**_TheRealPepe:_ ** its not a stale meme guys pepe never goes out of style

**_TakenLightly:_ ** anyway.,,.,. who is who

**_JackyBoi:_ ** im jack, call me jack

**_TheRealPepe:_ ** im racetrack call me race

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** im albert u can call me anything u like

**_RomeHO:_ ** im romeo 

**_Speccy:_ ** im specs

**_UrNotMyDad:_ ** Im kath! the only other she/her in this chat

**_DavidJacobs:_ ** im david, everyone calls me davey

**_TakenLightly:_ ** nice to meet you all, im Smalls but apparenty u already kno that

_ Chat: Smalls Does Not Have A Hero Complex _

**_TakenLightly:_ ** racetrack

**_Patches:_ ** what?

**_TakenLightly:_ ** they added me into their gc and one of them is “”””””racetrack”””””””

**_ElmStreet:_ ** but is he cute

**_TakenLightly:_ ** how would i know

**_TakenLightly:_ ** wheres mush?

**_Patches:_ ** sleeping, he got home like an hour ago

**_ElmStreet:_ ** wanna come over? we have movies and snacks. 

**_TakenLightly:_ ** leave a note for Mush if u r we dont want a repeat of last time

**_Patches:_ ** im on my way yall are the best

**_ElmStreet:_ ** ,,.,.,., yall,.,.,..,...,,, 

**_TakenLightly:_ ** our sweet southern boi,....,.,

**_Patches:_ ** shut up or i wont bring licorice

**_TakenLightly:_ ** shutting up

**_ElmStreet:_ ** no fuk u i dont even like licorice

**_Patches:_ ** out of interest are you and Smalls in the same room?

**_ElmStreet:_ ** what whdbdfsa

**_Patches:_ ** little harsh with the tackle there smalls?

**_ElmStreet:_ ** no punk ass licorice hater is getting between me and my snacks -Smalls

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so like i kno some things are weird, like the "blup" thing and smalls' name but all will be explained. that being said if u have any theories comment! u just might guess correctly


	3. The Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The party happens. Drinking and swearing and kissing.

_“Bet you rue the day you kissed a writer in the dark”_ Smalls walked down the sidewalk towards the subway. The party was on the other side of manhattan in twenty minutes. She’d wanted to arrive a bit late, better than being early in a house full of strangers. For at least the seventh time today, she wondered if she _actually_ should be going to this party. Elmer had been all for her going, so she could bring him along to the next party. Ever since he and his boyfriend broke up two months ago, he had been itching to meet new people. Well he’d been itching to meet new people for the last month. The first month was all ice cream, sad movie marathons and breakup music. Which was why Smalls was listening to Lorde right now. Because Elmer had introduced her to her, and now she was officially a fan.

 

_Chat: Go Away Smalls We Don’t Need Saving_

**_ElmStreet:_ ** r u there yet, scope it out tell me everything send pics

 **_Patches:_ ** chill

 **_TakenLightly:_ ** just got on the subway calm down

 **_MushedUp:_ ** if there are any cute boys ull tell elmer right bc otherwise…

 **_TakenLightly:_ ** he will never shut up abt it yeah i know

 **_TakenLightly:_ ** ok im here will do recon for u elmer

 **_ElmStreet:_ ** good luck soldier

 

Smalls knocked on the door of the apartment a few times, but no one answered, so eventually she just pushed inside. Jack was walking up to the door sipping out of a red plastic cup. He looked up at her and grinned.

“Hey! Glad you could make it,”

She nodded and smiled back at him before he grabbed her arm and pulled her to the living room.

“I’ll introduce you to everyone,”

“Specs and Romeo,” A tall kid with glasses sitting next to a shorter guy with dark hair.  

“Davey and Kath,” Another tall kid and a girl waved at her from across the room.

“You know me, Crutch, Spot and Race and that’s Albert,” he finished, motioning to the person sitting on the floor in front of the couch with his head tilted back, eyes closed. Davey reached forward and tapped his shoulder, directing his attention to Smalls, still standing awkwardly in the doorway with Jack.

“Aren’t you going to let her in?” Albert signed to Jack. He knew that no one had told Smalls he was Deaf, and he just wanted to get it out of the way. Everyone in the group knew a bit, and Race had taken a class so he could help out with translation, but no one was really _fluent._ And it was kind of annoying.

“He has a point. We can’t just stand around in doorways all night,” she signed to Jack, whose mouth dropped open. When he didn’t respond she turned to Albert and pointed to Jack.

“What’s wrong with him?” She smiled as Alberts’ grin quickly took over his face.

“She’s my favorite,” He signed to the group.

“Now that everyone’s here, let’s get this started!” Race shouted from the couch. Jack dipped into the kitchen for a second and came back with beer and liquor. Someone hooked their phone up to speakers and started playing music. Albert leaned over to Smalls and patted the ground next to him. She sat down and he explained that they started every party by passing a bottle of whatever liquor around and taking two swigs from the bottle.

After that, all hell broke loose. Basically. Apparently, the well established lightweights of the group all had people assigned to watch them, so Smalls basically got to sit back and watch. And honestly it was pretty funny. She took some pictures to send to Elmer, but he was still at the hospital working. Albert and her stayed on the ground, leaning against the couch, watching the events unfold for most of the night. He explained that at every party, the gang assigned one person to be the designated Sober person. Because before they started doing that, they had all ended up at the police station because Jack accidentally set a bush on fire and then when the police showed up to ticket him, Spot tried to “defend his honor” by arguing and then they all got in trouble for Public Intoxication. Tonight, Albert was the designated sober person. He resented it. He was a fun drunk unlike some people. Like Spot. Spot just tried to pick fights. Albert thinks Spot should always be the designated sober person. Then Albert could have fun. Speaking of Spot, Smalls was pointing out Spot and Race to Albert and laughing. They were kissing, sloppily, and Jack and Crutchie were next to them, also kissing. Smalls explained that Romeo had dared them to see who could make out for longer without stopping to breathe and it didn’t seem like it would be letting up anytime soon. Albert looked away, turning his attention to Smalls, who was looking at Romeo with an odd expression on her face. He looked back at Romeo, who was looking at Specs, who was looking at Smalls and shook his head. That looked like a mess waiting to happen. But then his eyes slid back to Race, like they always did, and he sighed. Smalls tapped his shoulder,

“So, Race?” He raised an eyebrow,

“So, Romeo?” She blushed slightly but held his gaze. The first thing he had done was teach her everyones name signs. That way they could talk about everyone without fingerspelling everything.

“He’s cute. So what? I’m allowed to look,” He snorted and replied,

“What about Specs?”

“Honest to God this whole group is pretty hot,” she commented and he agreed wholeheartedly. They both looked around at the group, counting up to make sure no one had snuck out for Drunk Shenanigans.

Davey and Kath were sitting on the couch above them, each holding a beer, talking quietly. Jack and Crutchie, and Spot and Race were still kissing and Specs was starting to look slightly grossed out, and Romeo had gone stumbling into the kitchen for more alcohol. Albert nudged Smalls,

“You should go check on him,” he gestured after Romeo and she stood, following him into the kitchen. He was laying on the ground in fetal position, and her heart dropped as she registered what was happening.

“Romeo? Are you okay? What happened??” He rolled over onto his back, laughing so hard tears were streaming down his face and he was struggling to inhale. _Oh,_ thinks Smalls.

“I was- I was tryin’ to get th- the, and I fe- fell over-” He burst out laughing again and she rolled her eyes, a smile on her face.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, geez, loosen up, how much have you had to drink?” He gets out, sitting up and looking at her with those brown eyes.

“Umm, nothing? Besides the liquor at the start,” He shook his head and used the counter to pull himself upright, Smalls standing close behind. He grabbed four shot glasses from a cabinet and yelled for Specs to bring in the vodka from the other room. Smalls protested,

“I really don’t think that’s a great idea Romeo, you seem pretty hammered already,”

“You’re pretty,” he commented and Smalls’ face heated a bit as Specs walked into the room carrying the liquor.

“Ooo whose doing shots?” He asked as he filled the four glasses Romeo had set out.

“Romeo is-”

“Smalls is-”

“ _No_ ” She looked at Romeo, who handed her the first shot.

Both Romeo and Specs looked at her expectantly and she sighed, downing the shot with a neat flick of her wrist and setting the glass back on the counter, picking up the other one. Then she remembered Mush, Blink and Elmer.

“Oh hang on a second,” She pulled her phone out, ignoring all the messages and sent a quick text in the groupchat.

 **_TakenLightly:_ ** blup

She slid her phone back into her pocket easily and picked up the next glass. They watched her knock back all four shots easily, and Specs was a little impressed. Romeo was a lot impressed. And very drunk.

“Happy now?”

* * *

 

  
After that, it got a bit fuzzy. Smalls remembered bits and pieces. Heading back into the living room to find a very, _very,_ drunk Albert who had apparently decided that Smalls was the designated Sober Person. Tripping on the edge of the couch and cursing in Italian, which lead to a rapid exchange with Race. In Italian. Specs and Romeo making fun of the faint accent she acquired as the alcohol kicked in. Jack trying to guess where it was from. A very sloppy conversation with Albert that even they couldn’t follow because all the signs were blending together and their hands shook slightly. Laughing loudly with Kath as Crutchie and Davey tried to outdrink each other. Spot declaring that they’d both lost. Someone throwing up in a trash can. Dragging blankets and pillows out of the bedrooms and falling asleep on the floor. Happy.


	4. The Hangover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The hangover, or lack thereof

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just watched the proshoot and im feeling a lot of things mainly sadness and also i never noticed specs fall at the end during the dancy bit and i feel bad also how does ben cook dance with a cigar in his mouth i cant dance without a cigar in my mouth. maybe the cigar is the secret. maybe if i dance with a cigar in my mouth i will become as good as ben cook. i gotta test this out

_ Chat: Elmer Needs a BF _

 

**_ElmStreet:_ ** SMALLS IM OFF WORK OK SEND PICS

**_Patches:_ ** u sound like ur asking for nudes

**_MushedUp:_ ** jfc blink what

**_Patches:_ ** its the truth

**_ElmStreet:_ ** SMALLS DONT SEND NUDES UNLESS THEY R A CUTE BOYS

**_Patches:_ ** geez elmer, sound a lil more desperate why dont u

**_MushedUp:_ ** dont encourage him

**_ElmStreet:_ ** SMALLS 

**_MushedUp:_ ** leave her alone shes prolly havin fun guys

**_Patches:_ ** oooo i wonder if they have good alcohol

**_ElmStreet:_ ** wanna come over to mine and get drunk

**_MushedUp:_ ** hi im working

**_ElmStreet:_ ** lame

**_TakenLightly:_ ** blup

**_MushedUp:_ ** shE SPEAKS

**_ElmStreet:_ ** BIH WHERE R THE CUTE BOYS

**_ElmStreet:_ ** U CANT JUST LEAVE

**_Patches:_ ** smalls r u ok?

**_MushedUp:_ ** im sure shes fine

**_MushedUp:_ ** im pretty sure shes fine

**_MushedUp:_ ** it is only nine thirty and shes already starting the blups?

**_ElmStreet:_ ** probs wanted to say it in case she got drunk and forgot later

**_Patches:_ ** tru

**_Patches:_ ** mush come down to the xray room i need a hug nd a kiss and im off in five minutes

**_MushedUp:_ ** babe im working, i cant :(

**_Patches:_ ** ugh

**_Patches:_ ** omg

**_ElmStreet:_ ** what what

**_Patches:_ ** some dude just came in for an xray and he has a fuckin toothbrush in his back

**_ElmStreet:_ ** wh- wha

**_MushedUp:_ ** like he got stabbed. with a toothbrush??

**_Patches:_ ** yep

**_ElmStreet:_ ** cool

**_MushedUp:_ ** oooo incoming trauma, talk later! xx

**_Patches:_ ** go save a life

**_ElmStreet:_ ** or at least make it better   
  


**_Patches:_ ** am i lame?? yall have cool jobs and i. do not

**_ElmStreet:_ ** we cant do our jobs w/o u tho. ur important, just in a different way

**_Patches:_ ** yeah well smalls is the best peds nurse in the building and like,,, a genius, mush gets to actually cut people open nd u make sure ppl dont die or wake up in the middle of surgery

**_ElmStreet:_ ** but u make sure we know whats going on with our patients and give us clear pictures of whats happening

**_ElmStreet:_ ** u matter. just as much as any of us

**_ElmStreet:_ ** im on my way with vanilla coke

**_Patches:_ ** no im fine its ok

**_ElmStreet:_ ** smalls is busy doing Alcohol and mush is busy. im coming over whether u want me there or not, im bored

**_Patches:_ ** thanks ur the best Bro

**_ElmStreet:_ ** what are friends for. im bringing the good whiskey too and i bet u 10 bucks i can beat u too ur apartment

**_Patches:_ ** u really are the best Bro and i take the bet

* * *

 

 

Race wakes up first. He always does. He pads into the kitchen without stepping on anyone and starts a pot of coffee. Jack always wakes up second so Race gets his and Jack’s coffee mugs out of the cupboard and gets the bottle of advil out. He hears movement in the other room and tosses Jack’s mug at him without looking as he steps into the doorframe. Jack catches it, like always, and walks over to the coffee pot, like always.    
  


“Testing the reflexes of the hungover now?”    
That makes Race look up. Because it’s not Jack. It’s Smalls. Still in her jeans from yesterday but with a well worn sweatshirt pulled over her strappy top. 

“Thought you were Jack,” he mumbles, because really, it’s too early for talking.

“Sorry to disappoint. I wasn’t expecting anyone else to be awake yet,” she comments and he scoffs, 

“I’m always first up,” she says, thinking of Blink and Elmer, who can’t function without Advil and coffee, and of Mush, who just sleeps forever and then is fine. 

Smalls walks over to the light switch and flicks them on.

“Puttana,” Race groans lightly, 

“What are you doing?”

“Turning on the lights,” she smacks his arm lightly, 

“What was that for?”

“Don’t call me a bitch,” she smirks at him and he smiles back. 

“God, we are gonna have so much fun with this Italian thing, aren’t we?”

“Not as much fun as me and Albert are gonna have with the sign language thing.” 

“Jesus, how old are you?” She hesitates at that, dropping his gaze and looking at the floor. 

“Smalls?”

“I’m,” she looks back up at him, “You can’t tell anyone.”

“Great, so either, like, forty or twelve,” he comments and she rolls her eyes. 

“I’m twenty,” she says and he rolls his eyes, 

“That’s not that-”

“Almost,” she interrupts, cringing a bit,

“SMALLS,” he yells and she lunges forward and claps a hand over his mouth,

“Shut up! You’re gonna wake everyone up!” she takes her hand off and looks at him. 

“Nineteen?” he asks and she nods. 

“You told Spot you worked at a hospital and had an undergraduate degree,” he says and she nods again. 

“You lied?” 

“What? No, I do work at the hospital. I do have an undergraduate degree in nursing. I’ve started  my masters degree, Race. I’m qualified enough to stitch you guys back up, don’t worry about it.”

Race just looks at her. 

“That’s impossible,” he says flatly, and she scoffs. 

“Trust me, it’s really not, it’s actually really easy,” he looks at her disbelievingly. 

“Ok fine, let me lay it out for you. Number one. Graduate high school a year early combined with being young for my grade equals graduating at sixteen. Number two. Take classes every summer and finish undergrad in two and a half years. Number three. Go straight to masters degree and get a job. There you go. Nineteen and working on my masters. Got it?” he nods, “Don’t tell anyone. I mean you can tell them I’m nineteen, but not about the other stuff, okay? I’m not a genius and I don’t want to be treated like it,” he nods and laughs lightly. She looks at him, 

“Don’t worry about being nineteen. The oldest of us is twenty-three and Romeo’s not quite twenty. It’s fine,” he smiles at her and she relaxes, sipping her coffee. Jack walks into the room and blink blearily at Race. 

“Where’s my cup?” he asks and Smalls raises the mug in her hand and smirks at him. 

“You took your sweet time getting up so I stole it,” he glares back at her, then grabs it out of her hand, sticking his tongue out at her. 

 

Everyone else wakes up at varying times and Race just keeps making coffee. People filter in and out of the bathroom, getting mildly cleaned up and heading home. Finally Specs leaves the kitchen to wake up Romeo and Smalls goes to wake up Albert. Race wishes her good luck, saying that Albert can sleep through anything and everything, especially after parties. She pushes on his shoulder a bit but eventually just dramatically flops on top of him. He starts and tries to sit up but can’t. He turns to look at her and she grins. 

“Good morning,” He just blinks at her as she stands.  

 

She walks back into the kitchen, laughing, and Romeo tosses her her phone from the counter. 

“Your group chat is going crazy,” he grins, “I think they partied a little too.”

She laughs, explaining that they all work at the same hospital and so they most likely were  _ not  _ partying, but when she scrolls through the texts, it’s clear that Elmer and Blink were at least a little tipsy. 

 

**_ElmStreet:_ ** muuuush h blinfsk won shut up abt u

**_Patches:_ ** muuushd =i need snuggglees

 

Those two lines sum up the entire conversation pretty well. She scrolls back further, trying to find what started them drinking but gives up after about a minute. Romeo looks at her, 

“You should add them to our group chat,” he suggests and she laughs, 

“That would be a gigantic mess, and you guys don’t even know anything about them!” 

Specs laughs, “If they’re anything like you, I’m sure we’ll all get along just fine,” she stops laughing and looks at them. 

“I can add them if you want, let me ask them though,”

 

_ Chat: blinkk is grooooooooooos _

**_TakenLightly:_ ** want to get added into the gc i talked abt earlier?

**_MushedUp:_ ** i. want to slep

**_MushedUp:_ ** but sure

**_Patches:_ ** early

**_ElmStreet:_ ** hah u made blink throw up

**_TakenLightly:_ ** oh my god?

**_ElmStreet:_ ** hes fine

**_Patches:_ ** add me to the thingy

**_ElmStreet:_ ** cute boys in chat????

**_TakenLightly:_ ** _ sent photo  _ _ albertsninthshot.jpeg _

**_Patches:_ ** u broke elmer

**_TakenLightly:_ ** ye thats what i thought ill add yous

**_ElmStreet:_ ** u r a saint

**_TakenLightly:_ ** i hope, for ur sake, that u have been practicing ur sign language

**_ElmStreet:_ ** shit

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so like i too, am graduating high school at sixteen but i too, am not a genius. also! this fic is supposed to be about smalls, not necessarily focusing on her romantic relationships. that being said, in the next chapter and the rest of the fic, there is heavy hinting towards a certain ship that i think like two people ship. me and lee. but if that particular ship isnt ur cup of tea just know that it isnt center stage so hopefully you can still enjoy the story. love yall!


	5. The Gays(tm)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Random chapter on a Wednesday??? It's my birthday! (aug 2) so here have a gift from me. So Lee, my beta, wanted a happy chapter so this is all kinda filler and fun also Romeo and Race are the Best Bros sorry i dont make the rules. So yeah! All fun and Happy. Also the "political dynasty bush thing" actually happened so thats fun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i Regret making Races' thing HeterophobicAss because it gets really hard to spell heterophobic at like one in the morning when ur fingers stop working

_ Chat: Who Runs The World? _

_ User  _ **_TheRealPepe_ ** _ has changed their screenname to  _ **_HeterophobicAss_ **

**_RomeHO:_ ** all right,,,, edgelord

_ User  _ **_TakenLightly_ ** _ has added  _ **_Patches, ElmStreet, and MushedUp_ ** _ to the Chat _

**_UrNotMyDad:_ ** welcome

**_MushedUp:_ ** _ early _

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** i agree

**_JackyBoi:_ ** ok introductions! I’m Jack

**_UrNotMyDad:_ ** im katherine

**_DavidJacobs:_ ** I’m Davey Jacobs

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** albert

**_RomeHO:_ ** im romeo

**_Speccy:_ ** im specs

**_HeterophobicAss:_ ** im race(track)

**_BrooklynFTW:_ ** im spot

**_CrutchPotato:_ ** im crutchie!

**_Patches:_ ** im blink

**_ElmStreet:_ ** elmer

**_MushedUp:_ ** mush

**_TakenLightly:_ ** im smalls

**_ElmStreet:_ ** _ really _

**_Patches:_ ** _ i had no idea _

**_TakenLightly:_ ** _ shut  _

 

Smalls took the subway back to her apartment and opened the door to Elmer and Blink sitting at the kitchen table. Blink had his arms crossed on the table with his head resting on them and Elmer was leaning on Blinks’ shoulder with his eyes closed. 

“Honeys, I’m home!” She called with a singsong tone and tapped each of them on the head twice. They both groaned and she went into the bathroom and came back with Advil and started filling up a glass with water at the sink. 

“First one to stand up and make it over here gets the first dose of Advil,” she says and Blink’s head comes up and he blinks at her while Elmer pushes his chair back from the table and stumbles over to the counter and holds out a hand to Smalls expectantly. She puts three tablets in his hand and passes him the glass of water before tossing two pills at Blink, who caught them and tossed them back without any water before speaking, 

“How did you get through the subway? It’s so loud,” he asks and she grins, 

“Oh come on Blink, I’m not hungover, I’m never hungover,” she replies and Elmer nods, 

“It’s true, and she refuses to tell me her secret,” he complains and she looks at him, 

“You’re a doctor, figure it out,” she says and he groans again, 

“It’s too early for thinking, I’m going back to sleep,” he says and Blink agrees while Smalls looks at her watch, 

“Yeah, good luck with that, I’ve gotta get to work,” She dips into her room and changes into her scrubs, brushes her teeth and washes her face, before grabbing an apple and heading out the door. Blink and Elmer, still sitting at the table, watch her go and then look at each other. 

“How does she do that?” Elmer asks and Blink just shrugs. 

“Your guess is as good as mine. God, I’m so glad I don’t have to work today,” he mentions and Elmer nods enthusiastically. 

“Netflix?” he asks, 

“God yes.”

 

_ Chat with  _ **_HeterophobicAss_ **

**_RomeHO:_ ** omfg

**_HeterophobicAss:_ ** spill

**_RomeHO:_ ** i. have a crush

**_HeterophobicAss:_ ** omg ok smalls or specs

**_RomeHO:_ ** wtf

**_RomeHO:_ ** are u betting on my love life

**_HeterophobicAss:_ ** there may or may not be a bet on ur love life

**_RomeHO:_ ** for fucks sake

**_HeterophobicAss:_ ** so anyway,,, smalls or specs

**_RomeHO:_ ** possibly,,,,, that is what i needed to talk to u abt

**_HeterophobicAss:_ ** ?

**_RomeHO:_ ** i mean. ur poly right?

**_HeterophobicAss:_ ** oh

**_HeterophobicAss:_ ** OH

**_HeterophobicAss:_ ** yes i am

**_HeterophobicAss:_ ** omg

**_HeterophobicAss:_ ** romeo

**_RomeHO:_ ** shut up

**_HeterophobicAss:_ ** so. specs and smalls

**_RomeHO:_ ** specs and smalls

**_HeterophobicAss:_ ** yep

**_RomeHO:_ ** the only thing i can think of to say rn is, im so gay, but heres the thing

**_RomeHO:_ ** im not

**_HeterophobicAss:_ ** right bc smalls

**_HeterophobicAss:_ ** there i cannot help u bc i am the Gayest Poly

**_RomeHO:_ ** i am the Pan Poly

**_HeterophobicAss:_ ** sounds like a superhero

**_RomeHO:_ ** damn straight

**_HeterophobicAss:_ ** dont u mean,,,,,,

**_RomeHO:_ ** dont u dare

**_HeterophobicAss:_ ** damn pan

**_RomeHO:_ ** im leaving u

**_HeterophobicAss:_ ** for specs n smalls??

**_RomeHO:_ ** for spot

**_HeterophobicAss:_ ** get out, hes mine

**_RomeHO:_ ** we’ll see about that

 

_ Chat with  _ **_BrooklynFTW_ **

**_HeterophobicAss:_ ** dont leave me for romeo

**_BrooklynFTW:_ ** what the actual fuck

**_HeterophobicAss:_ ** did i stutter

**_BrooklynFTW:_ ** yknow, i bet romeo wouldnt text me weird things in the middle of the afternoon whilst  _ sitting next to me on the couch _

**_HeterophobicAss:_ ** wow thats a big word im impressed

**_BrooklynFTW:_ ** couch?

**_HeterophobicAss:_ ** yes

**_HeterophobicAss:_ ** wait 

**_HeterophobicAss:_ ** who r u texing

**_BrooklynFTW:_ ** u

**_HeterophobicAss:_ ** and??

**_BrooklynFTW:_ ** romeo

**_BrooklynFTW:_ ** plannin our next d8

 

_ Chat with  _ **_RomeHO_ **

**_HeterophobicAss:_ ** GET OUT OF HIS PHONE

**_RomeHO:_ ** U BROUGHT THIS ON URSELF

 

_ Chat with  _ **_BrooklynFTW_ **

**_BrooklynFTW:_ ** race actually just screamed out loud wtf

**_RomeHO:_ ** im cryin hes so Funny

**_BrooklynFTW:_ ** race??

**_BrooklynFTW:_ ** listen i thought this was a joke what

**_RomeHO:_ ** omfg no it is im talkin bout specs

**_BrooklynFTW:_ ** oh

**_RomeHO:_ ** race and i are Bros only, u need not fear

**_BrooklynFTW:_ ** here we go

**_RomeHO:_ ** u can rest assured ur bf is safe from my Manly Charms

**_RomeHO:_ ** although i cannot promise u that he will never fall for me

**_RomeHO:_ ** all men do, in the end

**_BrooklynFTW:_ ** i hate u

**_BrooklynFTW:_ ** although that was strangely poetic

**_RomeHO:_ ** thnks im pretty amazing

**_BrooklynFTW:_ ** now get out 

**_RomeHO:_ ** get out,,,, of ur phone

**_BrooklynFTW:_ ** yes i need to go kiss my bf so he forgives me

**_RomeHO:_ ** gross

_ Chat: Who Runs The World?  _

**_Patches:_ ** is anyone gonna explain the gc name

**_HeterophobicAss:_ ** THE GAYS   
**_JackyBoi:_ ** bi erasure

**_Speccy:_ ** bi erasure

**_Patches:_ ** ………… okay

**_BrooklynFTW:_ ** old man Pulitzer owns gym called The World and is a shitty manager

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** we all work there and are treated shitty

**_UrNotMyDad:_ ** the boys organize a strike for better conditions and i, a journalist, write about it

**_DavidJacobs:_ ** Kath gets in trouble because she’s Pulitzers daughter

**_Speccy:_ ** jack gets mad and sulks

**_JackyBoi:_ ** _ i did not _

**_RomeHO:_ ** jack gets mad and sulks

**_HeterophobicAss:_ ** turns out we are Too Good at striking bc pulitzer ends up abandoning the business at which point the lovely spot decides that we can all manage it together

**_CrutchPotato:_ ** and so now we all work there and its pretty chill

**_JackyBoi:_ ** spot is not lovely

**_Speccy:_ ** spot??? Lovely???

**_BrooklynFTW:_ ** yeah fuck u too

**_UrNotMyDad:_ ** spot gets mad and sulks

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** why u gotta be so petty

**_HeterophobicAss:_ ** leave him alone hes doing His Best

**_CrutchPotato:_ ** so anyway,,,, now we are all just doing our Gay best and trying to run a small business

**_Patches:_ ** oh

**_DavidJacobs:_ ** You and your friends aren’t homophobic, are you?

**_Patches:_ ** lmao no

**_RomeHO:_ ** good bc im pan and poly

**_Speccy:_ ** good bc im bi and poly

**_JackyBoi:_ ** good bc im bi and trans

**_CrutchPotato:_ ** good bc im gay and poly

**_UrNotMyDad:_ ** good bc im bi

**_HeterophobicAss:_ ** good bc im gay and poly

**_BrookylnFTW:_ ** good bc im gay and poly

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** good bc im gay and ace and trans

**_Patches:_ ** ok cool im gay yall can calm down a lil

**_TakenLightly:_ ** yall,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, southern boi,,,,,

**_Patches:_ ** EVERY SINGLE TIME

**_ElmStreet:_ ** blink here is from the South and was raised a Good Gentleman, feeding the hogs and sheep four times every hour and collecting eggs and milking cows

**_Patches:_ ** I GREW UP IN ATLANTA FFS

**_TakenLightly:_ ** also did everyone just like,,,,, come out to each other to prove a point

**_DavidJacobs:_ ** I think so, yes

**_TakenLightly:_ ** cool

 

_ Chat with  _ **_HeterophobicAss_ **

**_RomeHO:_ ** specs is poly and im dying

**_HeterophobicAss:_ ** i was waiting for that

**_RomeHO:_ ** AHHHHHHHHHH

**_HeterophobicAss:_ ** ok chill

 

_ Chat: Elmer does NOT Need a BF _

**_Patches:_ ** this may be the best gc ive ever been privy too

**_ElmStreet:_ ** everyone is gay and its great

**_TakenLightly:_ ** i take offense at that whats wrong with this chat

**_Patches:_ ** it started as a way to coordinate carpools

**_TakenLightly:_ ** shut up

 

_ Chat: Who Runs The World? _

**_ElmStreet:_ ** so how come some of yous have nicknames and some of you don’t?

**_CrutchPotato:_ ** we all have nicknames, some people just don’t use them bc they prefer their names

**_JackyBoi:_ ** Davey is Mouth bc he never shuts up but we still love him

**_DavidJacobs:_ ** Katherine is Ace and she hates it with a passion. 

**_UrNotMyDad:_ ** Albert is Slick

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** and jacky is Cowboy bc he is more in love with Santa Fe than painting. almost. also if u call me slick i will personally kill u

**_Patches:_ ** what about romeo

**_Speccy:_ ** romeo is his nickname lmao

**_Patches:_ ** that sounds like a good story

**_RomeHO:_ ** id rather not thanks

**_HeterophobicAss:_ ** he flirts with everyone

**_ElmStreet:_ ** that,,, does not sound like the whole story

**_HeterophobicAss:_ ** yeah well its all ur getting

**_RomeHO:_ ** u must be at least a level ten friend to unlock my Tragic Backstory

**_Patches:_ ** ,,,, so what are the rest of yalls real names?

**_TakenLightly:_ ** ,,,,,yall,,,.,.,.,,.,

**_Patches:_ ** ok i know for a fact u are at work wtf

**_Speccy:_ ** u only ever hear our real names when we are Super Drunk or in Mortal Peril tbh

**_ElmStreet:_ ** oh?? my god??

**_BrooklynFTW:_ ** so assuming that smalls, mush and blink are all nicknames

**_HeterophobicAss:_ ** ur right

**_JackyBoi:_ ** elmer needs a nickname

**_ElmStreet:_ ** no i do not

**_Patches:_ ** elmer has one lmao

**_ElmStreet:_ ** blink i stg stfu

**_Patches:_ ** u see,,,,, our Elmer here is a lightweight,,,,,,, and he thinks hes charming and so we dubbed him Smooth on account of what a flirty drunk he is

**_RomeHO:_ ** thats not so bad

**_Patches:_ ** he flirted with a bush once

**_DavidJacobs:_ ** Like a member of the political dynasty?

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** like the shrubbery, david

**_JackyBoi:_ ** omfg davey,,,,,,

**_Speccy:_ ** im laughing so hard rn

**_UrNotMyDad:_ ** political dynasty

_ User  _ **_DavidJacobs_ ** _ has left the chat _

**_CrutchPotato:_ ** DAVEY NO   
**_JackyBoi:_ ** come back to us!

**_HeterophobicAss:_ ** omfg he just left

**_RomeHO:_ ** straight savage

**_Speccy:_ ** incredible

**_BrooklynFTW:_ ** this is ridiculous

**_Patches:_ ** this gc is wild

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** they are usually a bit more chill

**_UrNotMyDad:_ ** thats a lie

**_ElmStreet:_ ** im too hungover for this shit

**_MushedUp:_ ** what the actual fuck

**_Patches:_ ** mush! where ya been??

**_MushedUp:_ ** sleeping

**_JackyBoi:_ ** its like, the afternoon

**_MushedUp:_ ** i didnt get home from work until three in the morning

**_Speccy:_ ** ouch

**_RomeHO:_ ** smalls mentioned yous all worked at the same hospital

**_MushedUp:_ ** i am regretably a surgeon

**_ElmStreet:_ ** “regretably” im an anesthesiologist

**_Patches:_ ** im an xray tech

**_HeterophobicAss:_ ** wow u guys are like,,,, smart 

**_BrooklynFTW:_ ** stfu ur literally a neuropsychology major

**_ElmStreet:_ ** that is a Big Word 

**_BrookylnFTW:_ ** i kno i have a shortcut in my phone for it

**_ElmStreet:_ ** lmao i have a shortcut for “anesthesiologist” 

**_Patches:_ ** nerds

**_Speccy:_ ** wtf im a dance major, i feel out of my league

**_RomeHO:_ ** hey dont diss the dance major

**_MushedUp:_ ** literally do not feel out of ur league pls 

**_JackyBoi:_ ** but u are. so smart

**_ElmStreet:_ ** lmao dont say that around smalls 

**_JackyBoi:_ ** what why

**_Patches:_ ** shes like lowkey a genius but she hates when people point it out

**_HeterophobicAss:_ ** yeah shes real touchy about it

**_MushedUp:_ ** lmao what did u say

**_HeterophobicAss:_ ** i asked how old she was and then kinda accused her of lying

**_Patches:_ ** abt her degree?

**_HeterophobicAss:_ ** yeah lmao i got a lecture

**_BrooklynFTW:_ ** wait how old is she

**_ElmStreet:_ ** that is not our story to tell

**_TakenLightly:_ ** im nineteen and i have to work so either shut up about me or ask elmer ur questions he knows All about me

**_Speccy:_ ** nineteen

**_TakenLightly:_ ** nineteen

**_CrutchPotato:_ ** its okay, daveys a Smart too

**_JackyBoi:_ ** we never added him back in hang on

_ User  _ **_UrNotMyDad_ ** _ has added  _ **_DavidJacobs_ ** _ to the chat _

_ User  _ **_DavidJacobs_ ** _ has left the chat _

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** alright

**_CrutchPotato:_** hes so embarrassed i feel bad

**_JackyBoi:_ ** crutch u didnt do anything wrong

**_HeterophobicAss:_ ** and,,,,, they’re kissing

**_BrooklynFTW:_ ** i have An Idea

**_RomeHO:_ ** and,,,,, they’re kissing

**_Patches:_ ** are u all together

**_Speccy:_ ** yes

**_UrNotMyDad:_ ** god i need an SO

**_RomeHO:_ ** rt

**_Speccy:_ ** rt

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** rt

**_ElmStreet:_ ** rt

**_Patches:_ ** im gonna rt for smalls

**_Patches:_ ** rt

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** someones gotta rt for davey

**_JackyBoi:_ ** wtf are you talking about davey has a bf

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** ???? no ???

**_JackyBoi:_ ** yeah that kid, evan

**_BrookylnFTW:_ ** omfg they broke up like two months ago

**_Speccy:_ ** jack……….

**_CrutchPotato:_ ** he didnt talk to you about it? i figured he went to you first

**_JackyBoi:_ ** i gotta go

**_RomeHO:_ ** jack you okay?

 

_ Chat with  _ **_DavidJacobs_ **

**_JackyBoi:_ ** what did i do 

**_DavidJacobs:_ ** I’m sorry?

**_JackyBoi:_ ** _ what did i do that made you stop trusting me _

**_DavidJacobs:_ ** What the hell are you talking about?

**_JackyBoi:_ ** you never told me you broke up with evan

**_JackyBoi:_ ** you havent talked to me one on one in months and i thought it was bc you were making other friends so i let you, but you couldnt even tell me you arent in a relationship anymore

**_JackyBoi:_ ** what did i do that was so bad that made you think you cant talk to me?

**_JackyBoi:_ ** please davey… just talk to me

 

**_JackyBoi:_ ** davey?

**_JackyBoi:_ ** davey please, talk to me

**_JackyBoi:_ ** im sorry davey

**_JackyBoi:_ ** im so sorry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha u thought. sorry i seem to be unable to write a chapter without angst but hey! dont worry davey and jack are gonna be okay! i mean, smalls isnt but *shrugs* what can u do


	6. The Backtory(Alberts)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> um so the chapter notes i have for this are "Davey is avoiding jack and jack complains to crutchie" which does happpen but also ralbert angst and albert/smalls brotp and the gang is more Cemented. Also kath and davey are real good friends and Foreshadowing

_ Chat with  _ **_CrutchPotato_ **

**_JackyBoi:_ ** crutchie

**_CrutchPotato:_ ** jack!

**_JackyBoi:_ ** davey

**_CrutchPotato:_ ** hes still not talking to you?   
**_JackyBoi:_ ** i dont know what i did wrong

**_CrutchPotato:_ ** have you tried talking to him at work or school?

**_JackyBoi:_ ** hes scheduling his shifts around mine and our majors are quite literally opposites

**_CrutchPotato:_ ** i dont know what to tell you

**_JackyBoi:_ ** i dont want to lose him

**_CrutchPotato:_ ** hes not going to die jack

**_JackyBoi:_ ** for all i know he is dead!

**_CrutchPotato:_ ** ok calm down

**_JackyBoi:_ ** no! fuck, crutch you and him are all i have and i cant lose either of you

**_CrutchPotato:_ ** neither of us are ever going to leave you, davey will come around, he needs you just as much as you need him

 

_ Chat with  _ **_DavidJacobs_ **

**_CrutchPotato:_ ** you need to talk to jack

**_DavidJacobs:_ ** I can’t

**_CrutchPotato:_ ** why the hell not

**_DavidJacobs:_ ** I can’t talk to you about this

**_CrutchPotato:_ ** please davey, jack is going crazy, he thinks hes going to lose you

**_CrutchPotato:_ ** davey?

**_CrutchPotato:_ ** for heavens sake

 

_ Chat: Who Runs The World? _

**_UrNotMyDad:_ ** crutchie and jack i swear to freaking god u fucked up

**_Speccy:_ ** omg

**_JackyBoi:_ ** its not my fault!

**_CrutchPotato:_ ** im just trying to help! 

**_RomeHO:_ ** is this about the Davey Thing

**_TakenLightly:_ ** whats the Davey Thing

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** davey isnt talking to Jack

**_UrNotMyDad:_ ** he hasnt been talking to Jack for awhile, jack just didnt notice

**_JackyBoi:_ ** im an idiot

**_CrutchPotato:_ ** but now davey isnt talking to me either

**_Patches:_ ** that sucks

**_ElmStreet:_ ** one time smalls didnt talk to me for three months

**_TakenLightly:_ ** that is a Little different

**_HeterophobicAss:_ ** omfg what did u do

**_MushedUp:_ ** he ate her licorice

**_BrooklynFTW:_ ** what the hell

**_TakenLightly:_ ** ok but he doesnt even LIKE licorice he just did it to spite me

**_ElmStreet:_ ** u deserved it

**_BrookylnFTW:_ ** petty

**_Speccy:_ ** what did she do

**_MushedUp:_ ** so the weathers nice today

**_RomeHO:_ ** casual

**_ElmStreet:_ ** gotta go work

**_TakenLightly:_ ** yeah, gotta blast

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** we will figure this out

**_Patches:_ ** yeah good luck with that

 

_ Chat with  _ **_UrNotMyDad_ **

**_JackyBoi:_ ** please

**_UrNotMyDad:_ ** no

**_JackyBoi:_ ** listen, i know that you are better friends with davey than anyone else in this chat and i know that you know whats wrong, why wont he talk to me

**_UrNotMyDad:_ ** i cant betray him like that

**_JackyBoi:_ ** at least give me a clue

**_UrNotMyDad:_ ** when was the last time you saw les

**_JackyBoi:_ ** oh my god

**_JackyBoi:_ ** kath

**_UrNotMyDad:_ ** you didnt hear it from me ok

**_UrNotMyDad:_ ** he just needs space from you ok? and i know that hurts but you have got to give it to him

**_JackyBoi:_ ** katherine please

**_JackyBoi:_ ** kath?

**_JackyBoi:_ ** for fucks sake

 

_ Chat with  _ **_TakenLightly_ **

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** smalls

**_TakenLightly:_ ** albert

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** race

**_TakenLightly:_ ** elmer

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** what?

**_TakenLightly:_ ** are we not just naming people

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** no i need to rant

**_TakenLightly:_ ** oooo ok go

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** ok so going back to the Origin

**_TakenLightly:_ ** *grabs popcorn*

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** i was in a starbucks, doing my thing when someone texted me randomly and was like “hey fucker u never gave me my underwear back” and so i was like “what the fuck”

**_TakenLightly:_ ** naturally

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** so ofc its race and im like “i think you have a wrong number” and apparently he thought he was texting romeo and we got in a whole argument bc he thought i was romeo pretending to not be romeo

**_TakenLightly:_ ** sounds like something romeo would do

**_TakenLightly:_ ** wait why did romeo have races underwear

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** i never found out

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** so this whole time im like, wow this guy is funny and sarcastic and gets my sense of humor

**_TakenLightly:_ ** oh no

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** oh yes. so i finally convince him im me, a random guy named albert, and we keep talking, for like three hours

**_TakenLightly:_ ** this is before spot, yes?

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** yeah. so eventually i have to go back to my apartment and i literally run into him as im walking out the door

**_TakenLightly:_ ** omf

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** yeah except i dont know its him yet. he apologizes and i wave him off but he keeps talking

**_TakenLightly:_ ** oh no

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** and then he winks at me

**_TakenLightly:_ ** _ oh no _

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** so im like, im Deaf, and hes like oh rip and he grabs a napkin and writes his number on it with a winky face and gives it to me

**_TakenLightly:_ ** damn race is bold

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** yeah i wish i had his confidence

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** so that night i go to text this cute boy and find out it was the person who attacked me about underwear

**_TakenLightly:_ ** its like fanfic

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** basically. so we keep texting for a couple days and he tells me he picked up ASL 101 after he ran into me

**_TakenLightly:_ ** oh my god

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** right?? and hes talking abt how he needed his language credits but he hadnt decided what to take yet and then he was like “might as well learn how to talk to cute coffee shop guy” 

**_TakenLightly:_ ** _ oh my god _

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** so i start kinda tutoring him in the coffee shop except its really just awkward flirting and we keep texting and i like him and im p sure he likes me

**_TakenLightly:_ ** im getting this sinking feeling

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** so eventually he asks about sexual orientation signs, like gay and stuff so i tell him and hes like ok im gay. and im like alright im gay too and he just looks at me kinda weirdly

**_TakenLightly:_ ** ok

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** so we get outside and i turn to say goodbye and he hugs me

**_TakenLightly:_ ** i thought he was gonna kiss u

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** i did too and i was confused and he goes “im really glad i met u” and so im freaking out so im like “same” and then he starts talking about the gang and how id like everyone and asks if he can add me into the gc

**_TakenLightly:_ ** oh geez

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** so then im so distracted by starting to hang out with all of them and then i start working at the gym too, and then the strike happens and none of us had really  _ talked  _ to spot before that, hes real scary, and he falls for him and im losing the bestest friend ive had in quite awhile

**_TakenLightly:_ ** albert…

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** and so now i just pine(™) 

**_TakenLightly:_ ** but he and spot are poly, right?

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** ,,,,, and i hate spot

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** with a passion

**_TakenLightly:_ ** ok dont take this the wrong way

**_TakenLightly:_ ** but do you hate him, or do you hate the fact that he took race away from you

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** fucj

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** smalls u were just supposed to listen not try to fix it

**_TakenLightly:_ ** lmao sorry but i think u have some thinking to do

**_TakenLightly:_ ** im here if u need to talk things through

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** thanks

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** im gonna go to sleep

**_TakenLightly:_ ** goodnight

 

_ Chat: Who Runs The World? _

**_Patches:_ ** blup

**_HeterophobicAss:_ ** im sorry?

**_TakenLightly:_ ** blink,,,,,, sweetie,,,,,,

**_ElmStreet:_ ** wrong chat ya dork

**_Patches:_ ** fuck

**_UrNotMyDad:_ ** explain pls

**_Patches:_ ** i must go

**_RomeHO:_ ** get back here

**_TakenLightly:_ ** basically, a typo became a meme and now its a Thing

**_Speccy:_ ** like a goodnight thing?

**_ElmStreet:_ ** like a goodnight thing

**_HeterophobicAss:_ ** squad goals

**_TakenLightly:_ ** damn straight

**_Patches:_ ** smalls, honey, none of us are straight

**_TakenLightly:_ ** shit ur right

**_MushedUp:_ ** blup!

**_TakenLightly:_ ** mush,,,,,,,

**_MushedUp:_ ** shit wrong chat

**_Speccy:_ ** i like this

**_RomeHO:_ ** blup

**_HeterophobicAss:_ ** blup

**_BrookylnFTW:_ ** blup

**_ElmStreet:_ ** blup

**_Speccy:_ ** blup

**_UrNotMyDad:_ ** blup

**_TakenLightly:_ ** blup blup, sleep tight babes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> look an actual happy chapter! (the calm before the storm) also i know i usually post on sundays but i got excited and there will be another chapter tomorrow. also i like leaving it on an angsty note for you guys <3 <3


	7. The Backstory(Smalls)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> alternatively titled: Jasper Remembers this is About Smalls  
> smalls and elmer are Good Friends and platonic cuddles can fix everything  
> Trigger Warnings for mentioned homophobia and violence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I freaking love Greys so much I always watch it when im writing so elmer, smalls, blink, and mush watch it together and complain ok

Elmer is sitting on the couch, watching _Grey’s Anatomy_ and complaining about inaccuracies under his breath when Smalls gets home from work.

“On the couch!” he calls and she doesn’t respond,

“Smalls?” she still doesn’t say anything and he stands up, pausing Netflix and making his way to the kitchen. Smalls is leaning up against the door like she can’t stand on her own and covering her mouth with a hand, eyes closed.

“Smalls?” he says quietly and she breathes in sharply, sliding her bag off her shoulder onto the floor,

“I’m fine,” she says quietly through her fingers and he can tell she’s been crying. He pulls her forward into a hug and she exhales shakily against his shoulder, hugging him back. He strokes her hair gently and she breaks down crying.

“Yeah, I got you, come on,” he says and scoops her up easily, walking back over to the couch while she cries into his shoulder. He sits back on the couch, pulling her into his lap and continuing to card his fingers through her hair. She curls in on herself, pressing both hands over her mouth and sobbing quietly against him,

“I got you, I’m here, I’m right here,” he whispers and pulls her hands away from her face, lacing his fingers through hers and squeezing her hand. She presses her face into his chest and cries, gasping for air and _shaking_ and Elmer just strokes her hair and holds her hand and waits.

Eventually her sobs slow and she stops shaking and starts breathing and he lets out a breath he didn’t really know he was holding. She takes a deep breath and looks up at him, and he kisses her forehead,

“What happened?” he says quietly and she shifts a bit, stretching out on the couch with her head in his lap and he reaches over and starts untying her shoes,

“I wasn’t supposed to be working today,” she mumbles, “I was covering for Skitts and he has this patient, Lester, this thirteen year old kid that's been admitted for almost two months and he-” she pauses, wiping her eyes, and Elmer slips her shoes off,

“He got put through the ringer of tests when he was admitted for lethargy and vomiting because no one knew what was wrong but they knew _something_ was wrong and then they got weird results on a spinal tap and he has Reye’s Syndrome and _God,_ his older brother is freaking the fuck out, thinks it’s his fault and it isn’t. He probably saved his life, I mean, who brings in a kid who throws up? But he did and they figured it out and he’s going to be _okay_ but-” Elmer picks her up again, walking into her room,

“I just had to sit with this kid’s parents and listen to them talk about how their son blames himself and could I please talk to him and I’m not a doctor! It’s not my job to do that and then I had to go cover for someone in the ER and I just-” he dumps her on the bed and she frowns, expression darkening,

“I couldn’t do anything for them,” she finishes and he flops down next to her. He turns onto his side to look at her and she sighs, closing her eyes. He waits, and when she doesn’t say anything, he speaks,

“So you were stuck with that one case for the whole day?” he says and she looks at him,

“Nah, I helped with twins that were born today and Leo had his surgery and he’s ok, but not great and, ugh, it’s just been such a shitty day,” she says,

“Leo’s the one with Hirschsprung’s right?” he asks and she nods,

“They resected his bowel and he survived but he didn’t wake up and it wasn’t a hard surgery and-”

“Were there any complications?” he asks,

“None at all,” she says and he pulls her against him, her back against his chest and she relaxes into him,

“So then he’ll be fine,” he says and she sighs,

“I know that, I do. It’s just. He’s not even two days old and he hasn’t even lived yet all he’s done is be in pain, he’s-”

“Hey, hey, it’s ok, I got you,” he pulls her closer and she cuts herself off,

“Sometimes I hate working in pediatrics,” she mumbles,

“I know, I know, but hey, what about the twins?  What was up with them?” he asks,

“Yeah it was a c-section and the dad was great, he didn’t faint or puke or anything and they are both doing so good, and the parents are both great,”

“What are their names?”

“Laurie and Max,” she says and yawns,

“They are doing so good and the parents are so excited and-” she yawns again and Elmer laughs.

They keep talking about the twins, and other good cases they’ve had recently and eventually Smalls falls asleep in Elmers’ arms and he finally relaxes. He squeezes his eyes shut and lets a few tears slide down his face.

It’s hard to work at a hospital. Everyone knows that on some level. Mush, Blink, Elmer, Smalls, they all have bad days sometimes. Days where you lose more patients then you save, or you miss something and it’s your fault or someone else is having a bad day and it rubs off. This isn’t the first time Elmer has done this, and it won’t be the last. Smalls has it especially bad. She works with pediatric patients which means she never gets a break. Because normally, there are things you can say, “He lived a full life,” “At least she’s with her husband now,” “He’s so old, it was just a matter of time.” But in peds, none of it applies. People get sick and die, everyone knows that. It’s a fact of life. But kids don’t. Kids aren’t supposed to. Kids can’t have lived their full lives before they can even speak or walk. Kids aren’t supposed to be abandoned by parents who think they aren’t strong enough. Smalls has enough of that to go around already. And she sees it everyday and she greets it with a smile and a hug or a high five, a word of encouragement, acting as a translator or interpreter to a scared kid, picking up extra shifts and swapping when others need breaks. So it makes sense that sometimes she needs to break to be better. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt him. They have been through _so much_ and he knows that she deserves so much better than she got. They grew up together. She was the first person he came out to. When her family life got to be too much, she stayed with him. When her brother caught her kissing a girl, Elmer was the one who drove her to the hospital and stayed until she woke up. He was there for her when she did summer school and worked her ass off so she could get _away_  as soon as she graduated. They moved in together right after college and he finished med school and she started working. They made sure they worked at the same hospital. He made sure she never looked back. He was there all the times she got drunk and ranted about her family. He was there to make sure she never tried to go back. She was there for him when he decided to come out to his family. She’s there for him through all the awful relationships and toxic people. They are both there for each other when they have bad days. Elmer and Smalls, taking on the world. Together.

 

_Next day…_

 

 _Chat with_ **_ElmStreet_ **

**_TakenLightly:_ ** its daveys brother

 **_ElmStreet:_ ** what?

 **_TakenLightly:_ ** reye’s syndrome with the guilty brother, lester, its davey jacobs’ _brother_

 **_ElmStreet:_ ** oh my god

 

 _Chat with_ **_UrNotMyDad_ **

**_DavidJacobs:_ ** Kath

 **_UrNotMyDad:_ ** lower manhattan?

 **_DavidJacobs:_ ** Yeah

 **_UrNotMyDad:_ ** im on my way

 **_DavidJacobs:_ ** Katherine

 **_UrNotMyDad:_ ** yeah?

 **_DavidJacobs:_ ** Call Jack, please.

 **_UrNotMyDad:_ ** are you sure?

 **_DavidJacobs:_ ** Yes

 

 _Chat with_ **_JackyBoi_ **

**_UrNotMyDad:_ ** i need you to meet me at lower manhattan hospital

 **_JackyBoi:_ ** kath whats wrong

 **_UrNotMyDad:_ ** davey needs you ok? i know you guys arent on great terms but please, he needs you there

 **_JackyBoi:_ ** im on my way

 **_UrNotMyDad:_ ** ill meet you there

 

 _Chat with_ **_DavidJacobs_ **

**_UrNotMyDad:_ ** hes meeting me here

 **_DavidJacobs:_ ** Kath I can’t do this

 **_UrNotMyDad:_ ** davey it’s going to be ok

 **_UrNotMyDad:_ ** les is gonna be fine, hes strong he’ll make it through this

 **_DavidJacobs:_ ** Just hurry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> all of these diseases are real, look at me go, doing research  
> Max after Max Ehrich who played Mush in OBC  
> Laurie after Laurie Veldheer who played Smalls in OBC  
> Leo bc I like the name


	8. The (First) Punch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am,,,, not sorry. Can't really summarize without giving away but warnings for small amounts of violence, deadnaming (sorry davey), hospitals and even more angst!

_ Chat with  _ **_BrooklynFTW_ **

**_JackyBoi:_ ** i need you to cover my shift today

**_BrooklynFTW:_ ** i aint covering for you bc ur hungover or sad about davey or some shit ok

**_JackyBoi:_ ** spot im in the hospital

**_BrooklynFTW:_ ** are you ok

**_JackyBoi:_ ** yeah im fine its not for me

**_BrooklynFTW:_ ** i cant cover for you but ill get specs to pull a double shift

**_JackyBoi:_ ** thanks

 

_ Earlier… _

 

Jack drives recklessly. He knows that it’s dangerous, and that he won’t do any good to Davey if he ends up in the hospital too, but he has no idea what’s going on and Davey still won’t answer his texts. So he drives recklessly.

 

He runs into the hospital, up to the desk, almost tripping over his own feet, 

“Hi, I’m here for David Jacobs,” he pants, and the nurse looks at him and then types something in the computer, 

“I’m sorry we don’t have a David Jacobs admitted,” he says and Jack blanks. Then he remembers the paperwork sitting on Daveys’ kitchen table and tries to remember if he ever actually turned it in.  _ Worth a shot _ , he thinks, 

“It might be under Rachel Jacobs,” he says and winces slightly, apologizing to Davey in his head. The nurse raises an eyebrow but searches again, 

“Still nothing, are you sure they were admitted to this hospital?” he asks and Jack nods frantically. Then he remembers what Katherine had said earlier,

“Les! Lester Jacobs,” he tries and the nurse types it in, 

“Fourth floor, pediatric ward, room number four-fourteen,” he says and Jack is opening his mouth to thank him when-

“Jack?” It’s Davey so he turns and is about to ask him what the hell is going on when he punches him. In the face. Hard. Jack stumbles back, catching himself before he hits the ground. He brings a hand up to his face, there isn’t a bruise yet but he isn’t sure there won’t be one and looks at Davey. All the words he was going to say, every single one, dies on his tongue. Davey is  _ shaking _ . His entire body is wrapped in cords of tension and he looks like he’s going to hit Jack again. Jack tenses. He isn’t going to fight Davey, and he knows if it comes down to it, Davey could beat the crap out of him. Although they are already in a hospital so maybe it would be okay. No. Nothing about this is okay. Nothing about  _ Davey _ is okay. Nothing about Davey has been okay for a long time. Jack has just been too blind to see it. 

“Davey?” he says hesitantly and Davey glares,

“Shut up,” he growls at him and Jack steps forward. Because this is  _ Davey _ and they’ve been through everything together and-

Davey steps forward but Jack flinches and Davey freezes. Because he hit him. And he promised him he wouldn’t  _ ever _ do that. Because this is  _ Jack  _ and they’re always there for each other, and Davey remembers and he knows  _ why _ Jack flinches and it hurts and- 

And it’s them. 

Davey unclenches his fists and Jack doesn’t even really know what’s happening but Davey needs him and he looks like he’s about to fall over, jeans and an old sweatshirt and so  _ sad, _ and Jack is hugging him like theres no tomorrow. And he needs this. 

Jack thinks he might cry. Davey. All he knows is that something is  _ wrong _ with Les and whatever it was is bad enough that Davey put aside what he was mad at Jack about for support. So they just stand in the lobby of a hospital and hold each other. Because that’s what they need. Eventually Davey pulls back and looks at Jack, 

“I didn’t really think you would come,” his voice is slightly raspy and he looks  _ destroyed,  _

“Why wouldn’t I? For fuck’s sake, Davey, I thought it was you in the hospital,” he says and Davey’s face falls. 

“What happened?” Jack asks quietly and Davey sighs,

“It’s my fault,” he says and Jack opens his mouth, “Let me finish. He had a cold but my parents both had to work so I was watching him, and all he wanted to do was sleep, and I thought, y’know, he’s a sick thirteen year old, what else is he gonna do,” he’s rambling and Jack knows it, 

“Breathe,” he says gently but Davey keeps talking,

“-but then he started throwing up, and he wasn’t doing that before and I panicked and brought him to the ER and they couldn’t figure out what he had and then they did, and that was two months ago and he’s  _ scared  _ and I-” his voice breaks and Jack wants to cry,

“I’m so scared,” he whispers. Jack doesn’t know what to do. Jack doesn’t know what to  _ say.  _ He still feels like he’s going to cry, but that won’t help anything and  _ god two months and he never said anything.  _

“What do we do?” he asks and Davey looks at him, 

“God, I don’t know,” he laughs humorlessly, “I got called to come down here and I thought it was- something bad had happened so I asked Kath to get you but he’s actually doing much better,” he gestured down the hallway and they started walking together,

“Anyways, what are you  _ wearing? _ ” Davey comments and Jack looks down at himself. Paint splattered jeans and a shirt that reads “T-Rex for Trans Rights”.

“I mean, I like it but is it really hospital attire?” he half smiles and Jack realizes that this is why he wanted him here. So he shoves his shoulder a little, stepping into the elevator,

“Hey, I was sleeping, okay, just be glad I put on pants,” he says and Davey actually laughs. Jack smiles too,

“So he’s doing better?” he asks and Davey nods, looking very tired again, 

“He was- it was-” he sighs, “We weren’t sure he was going to make it for a bit, but now he’s feeling much better, talking, staying awake more, he’s better,” Jack nods, and they step out of the elevator, walking down the hallway. Jack is too busy looking at the numbers on the doorframes to watch where he’s going and he runs right into some person in scrubs carrying what looks like a couple of binders, walking fast with her head down. She stumbles back and curses, then looks up,

“Smalls!” Jack says and she smiles at them, wiping her eyes with the heel of one hand. Daveys face falls,

“Oh my god is he okay?” he asks frantically, and she grabs his arm,

“He’s fine Davey, it isn’t him, he’s not my patient anymore I was covering for Skit- for someone yesterday,” she says quickly, 

“He just got back from some tests, I’m sure he’d love to see you,” she gives him a push down the hallway and he hesitates, looking between her and Les’ room. 

“Go say hi, tell him I’ll be right there ok?” Jack says and Davey nods, walking down the hallway. Smalls exhales and Jack looks at her,

“You ok?” he asks quietly and she looks back at him,

“I’m fine. Les will want to see you, you should go talk to him,” she says, turning to walk down the hallway and he reaches out, grabbing her arm,

“You aren’t ok, don’t say that you are. What’s going on?” he says and her gaze hardens,

“If I say that I’m fine, then I am, and if I’m not, then I’m sure that there is a  _ very  _ good reason why I am not telling you. But I am fine, I promise you. Go talk to Les,” she pulls her arm out of his hand and walks down the hallway. After a few steps, someone turns the corner and she stops,

“What’s up? I got a page from the nurses station, figured it was you,” he says and she runs a hand through her hair, saying something that Jack can’t quite hear and the guy pales, turning away and then back, 

“I’m- I don’t know what to say,” he stutters out and she shakes her head. He pulls her into a hug, and she crumples against him. Jack doesn’t move, debating whether he should go to Les and be there for Davey or go figure out what’s wrong with Smalls and try to help. The guy pulls the binders out of her hands and opens a door, pushing Smalls into the room gently, turning and walking back down the hallway towards Jack. He watches him walk by, to the nurses station, and hand over the binders to someone standing behind the desk,

“Itey, can you check these for me? Thanks,” he says quietly and walks back down the hallway, almost running into Jack,

“Sorry,” he mutters and Jack stops him. The guy looks up at him,

“Can I help you with something?” he asks and Jack makes a decision,

“Is she okay?” he asks quietly and the guy stills,

“I’m not sure what you’re talking about,” he responds,

“Smalls, is she ok,” he clarifies and he looks up,

“Listen buddy, I don’t know why you’re here right now, but I’d suggest you get out before I make you,” he grinds out and Jack steps back,

“Whoa man, listen, I’m worried about her,” he says and the guy scoffs,

“Yeah, I’m sure Matt is very worried about her health. I’m sure that’s why he’s paying you whatever to figure it out, ‘cause he thinks we’re dumb enough to fall for the same thing twice. Get out,” he says coldly and walks down the hallway. Jack stares after him. 

_ What the hell just happened _ .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: the shirt that jack is wearing is right here  
> https://www.lookhuman.com/design/335373-t-rex-for-trans-rights/3200bc-white_black-xs


	9. The (Second) Punch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a second punch, more tears, smalls needs a hug and some lasagna

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter and the next were originally all one big chapter but i split it up to show change in time so here u go

Elmer storms into the on call room and slams the door shut behind him. Smalls scrambles back, almost falling off the bed, throwing her hands up in front of her face. Elmer freezes,

“Oh god, Smalls I’m sorry, it’s me, it’s just me,” he stutters out, putting his hands up. He slips his lab coat off slowly and takes a step forward. Her breath hitches and he stops where he is,

“Smalls? It’s me, it’s only me, you’re safe” he says quietly, taking another step forward. This time she doesn’t react and he keeps talking softly, walking slowly towards her until he’s sitting next to her on the bed,

“Is this okay?” he asks and she gasps in a breath, looking up at him with tears streaming down her face and he pulls her into his lap for the second time in as many days,

“I just- I went to- I went to get coffee an- and I came back- and he was- crashing and,” 

“Hey, it is not your fault,” he says and she wipes her nose,

“Yes it is! If I hadn’t left, I could have paged someone, I could have done someth-”

“No. Listen to me, it is not your fault. You could not have done anything else. Even if you had paged someone he still would have stroked out and you know as well as I do that someone in his condition is not going to survive a stroke,” he said and she shudders against him,

“I still can’t believe he’s dead,” she whispers,

“I know,” Elmer says quietly,

“I know.” 

 

“Les!” Jack calls and walks into the room. Les’ smile almost takes over his face and it’s all Jack can do to not start crying right then and there. Because it’s Les and he grew up with Jack and Davey as his only father figures after their father and oldest brother died and he looks so skinny and pale and he’s still smiling at Jack like nothings wrong. Like Jack hasn’t for all intents and purposes forgotten about him for the last two months. But it’s not about him anymore, so he walks over and sits on the bed, tousling Les’ hair gently and Les throws his hands around Jack’s neck and hugs him. Jack hugs back, mindful of the oxygen leads and other wires,

“Draw anything new lately?” Les asks excitedly and Jack smiles before launching into a description of his latest series of paintings. Once the focus is clearly on Jack, Daveys shoulders slump, and Kath pulls him from the doorway to the corner, pushing him into a chair. Les and Jack talk boisterously on the bed and Kath sits next to Davey,

“You missed him,” she says quietly,

“Yeah. I did,” he says gently,

“I’m glad you let me get him,” she says and he nods, blinking slowly,

“Me too. Although you could have explained a little more. He thought it was me in the hospital,” he says,

“I didn’t know how much you wanted me to tell hi-”

“That’s a lie,” he interrupts sharply and she looks at him,

“Fine,” she sighs, “I didn’t know how to tell him. He and you and Les are all like your own family unit, especially since your mom went back to work and Sarah went abroad. And then Les got sick and Sarah couldn’t get back before the end of the semester and Jack got busy with the gym and classes and all Les’ had for these past few months is you and Esther and that’s fine but all you’ve had is me. And that’s not fine. You need people Davey. People, not person. I’ll be your person for as long as you need me but you need your friends. Don’t shut them out again, okay?” Kath shuts up and looks at Les and Jack, still talking, now about some sporting event, giving Davey time to think. A few seconds pass and David still hasn’t said anything,

“Davey?” she looks over at him and laughs softly. His head is tipped back, mouth slightly open, face relaxed, dead asleep. 

Les and Jack talk for awhile, until Les starts dozing too, and Jack stands up to go get coffee and clear his head. Kath stands up too and Jack waits outside the doorway for her figuring she needs a drink as much as he does. She pulls the door closed behind her and turned to face Jack. He opened his mouth to ask where they could go to get coffee and she punches him. And this time he does fall, smacking his head on the tiled floor. He groans, cursing. Now he’s  _ definitely  _ going to have a bruise,

“What the hell, Kath?” he says disbelievingly,

“You ever pull that shit again Kelly and I swear to god I’ll hit you way harder,” 

“Pull what shit?” he asks, pulling himself up,

“Abandoning Davey,” she says,

“He needs you, Kelly. You might not need him but he needs you and you can’t do this to him again,”

“I didn’t abandon him, he stopped  _ talking  _ to me Kath, he shut me out! He didn’t respond to my texts, he switched his work shifts, he-”

“You didn’t try,” she interrupts,

“Yes I did! I tried so goddamn hard, but I can’t do anything if he refuses to talk to me!” 

“You aren’t hearing me. You  _ didn’t try _ ,” she says angrily,

“You have no right to say that-”

“Stop it,” someone says and Kath and Jack turn quickly,

“You keep yelling like that, you’ll either wake up Davey or make someone call security and I don’t think you want either of those things to happen,” Smalls says quietly. The same guy from earlier is standing behind her, fingers laced through hers, 

“If you really have to have this fight, take it outside, or at least outside of the fucking pediatric ward, or even just away from Les’  _ door _ ,” Jack opens his mouth to protest and Smalls cuts him off, glaring at him,

“No. You don’t get to talk right now because this isn’t about you. It’s about Les and Davey and their parents and you guys fighting isn’t helping anyone, and it certainly isn’t helping Les or Davey,” 

“I-” Jack starts,

“Take a walk, kid,” Elmer cuts in and Jack steps forward,

“Oh so now you’re all buddy buddy? Like you weren’t threatening me five minutes ago for being concerned about my friend?” Jack says defensively,

“You threatened Jack? What the fuck Elmer,” she says and both Jack and Elmer look at each other incredulously,

“That’s Jack?”

“You’re Elmer?” they say simultaneously and Smalls looks at them,

“Oh my god, I forgot you hadn’t met yet,” she says and everyone looks at each other for a second before bursting out laughing. 


	10. The Skype Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Specs, Romeo and Smalls are great and Jack apologizes. The next party is planned and Smalls is petty. Elmer and Smalls are bros and u can fight me about this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lots of cursing in this chapter guys pls stay safe

_New Chat: The Sane Ones_

**_Speccy_ ** _has added_ **_TakenLightly_ ** _and_ **_RomeHO_ ** _to the chat_

 **_RomeHO:_ ** the sane ones out of what tho

 **_Speccy:_ ** the other chat obvi

 **_RomeHO:_ ** i think kath and davey are the sane ones

 **_Speccy:_ ** you might be right

 **_RomeHO:_ ** i am right and u know it

 **_Speccy:_ ** i refuse

 **_RomeHO:_ ** refuse to what

 **_Speccy:_ ** yes

 **_RomeHO:_ ** are u drunc rn

 **_RomeHO:_ ** specs

 **_Speccy:_ ** what

 **_RomeHO:_ ** are u drunk

 **_RomeHO:_ ** dont pull a davey

 **_Speccy:_ ** a what

 **_RomeHO:_ ** a davey

 **_RomeHO:_ ** ignoring ppl

 **_Speccy:_ ** gd ur savage

 **_RomeHO:_ ** is that a suprise?

 **_Speccy:_ ** yes

 **_RomeHO:_ ** um i h8 u

 **_Speccy:_ ** um nah

 **_RomeHO:_ ** um yah

 **_TakenLightly:_ ** um nah

 **_Speccy:_ ** look who finally showed up

 **_TakenLightly:_ ** dont take that tone with me young man

 **_Speccy:_ ** um but ur short so,

 **_TakenLightly:_ ** bitch

 **_Speccy:_ ** not as short as ro tho

 **_RomeHO:_ ** _bitch_

 **_Speccy:_ ** sorry, forgot

 **_TakenLightly:_ ** forgot what

 **_Speccy:_ ** ro hates being called ro

 **_RomeHO:_ ** um i h8 it when _other_ people call me ro, u also kno that

 **_TakenLightly:_ ** ooooooooooooo

 **_RomeHO:_ ** shut up

 **_Speccy:_ ** ur blushing arent u

 **_RomeHO:_ ** i said shut up

 **_TakenLightly:_ ** awwww ro

 **_RomeHO:_ ** um bye

 **_Speccy:_ ** hes pulling a davey

 **_TakenLightly:_ ** a what

 **_Speccy:_ ** scroll up

 **_TakenLightly:_ ** savage

 

_Two days later..._

 

_Messages in Chat: Who Runs The World?_

**_HeterophobicAss:_ ** this gc is so dead

 **_BrooklynFTW:_ ** its for the Best

 **_Speccy:_ ** i miss u all

 **_RomeHO:_ ** finals are kicking my Ass

 **_MushedUp:_ ** i do not miss college wow

 **_Patches:_ ** haha

 **_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** this is everyones last week of finals right?

 **_Speccy:_ ** yah

 **_HeterophobicAss:_ ** ye

 **_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** we need a party

 **_BrookylnFTW:_ ** we need booze honestly

 **_RomeHO:_ ** and then we can all meet elmer, mush and blink

 **_JackyBoi:_ ** ,,,,,, too late

 **_MushedUp:_ ** what?

 **_ElmStreet:_ ** i may have,,,,,

 **_JackyBoi:_ ** elmer threatened me

 **_Patches:_ ** ummmmmm

 **_BrooklynFTW:_ ** elmer i stg i dont know u but i’ll kick ur ass, i will find u and shove a rusty fork up ur nose

 **_ElmStreet:_ ** HOLY JESUS IT WAS A MISTAKE I DIDNT KNOW WHO HE WAS PLEASE DONT DO THAT

 **_MushedUp:_ ** jesus christ

 **_HeterophobicAss:_ ** he’s kidding

 **_HeterophobicAss:_ ** probably

 **_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** i dont think he is

 **_RomeHO:_ ** he is

 **_BrooklynFTW:_ ** i am not

 **_Speccy:_ ** ,, anyway

 **_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** god im gay

 **_CrutchPotato:_ ** rt

 **_JackyBoi:_ ** any particular reason

 **_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** that rlly cute model, Brendon, posted another insta pic

 **_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** _sent screenshot_

 **RomeHO:** how do u get that many abs

 **_TakenLightly:_ ** oh my god

 **_ElmStreet:_ ** is that

 **_MushedUp:_ ** that's Itey omf

 **_Patches:_ ** im screamin omg

 **_TakenLightly:_ ** whats his insta oml

 **_Speccy:_ ** wait u guys know him??

 **_ElmStreet:_ ** he works at the hospital

 **_TakenLightly:_ ** and is apparently a model on the side

 **_Patches:_ ** what the heck

 **_TakenLightly:_ ** i want him to teach me how to do my makeup like that wtf

 **_MushedUp:_ ** im confronting him about this tomorrow

 **_CrutchPotato:_ ** we have gotten distracted

 **_RomeHO:_ ** yes the party

 **_Speccy:_ ** everyone free Saturday night? My roommate will be out of town and so yous can sleep over

 **_JackyBoi:_ ** that sounds good

 **_HeterophobicAss:_ ** wait davey

 _User_ **_UrNotMyDad_ ** _has added_ **_DavidJacobs_ ** _to the chat_

 **_RomeHO:_ ** we r having a party at Specs’ on Saturday b there or b square

 **_Patches:_ ** are we also invited?

 **_CrutchPotato:_ ** r u in this chat

 **_MushedUp:_ ** is this a trick question

 **_JackyBoi:_ ** yes ur invited

 _User_ **_HeterophobicAss_ ** _has changed their name to_ **_TheRealSlimShady_ **

**_RomeHO:_ ** why

 **_TheRealSlimShady:_ ** its a good meme ro

 **_RomeHO:_ ** dont call me that

 **_Speccy:_ ** dont call him that

 **_TakenLightly:_ ** dont call him that

 **_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** wtf when did you become so tight

 **_RomeHO:_ ** idk what ur talking about

 

_Chat: Ro’s a Lightweight_

**_Speccy:_ ** *spy voice* theyre onto us

 **_RomeHO:_ ** wait

 **_RomeHO:_ ** im not a lightweight

 **_TakenLightly:_ ** yes u r

 **_RomeHO:_ ** shut

 **_TakenLightly:_ ** no

 **_RomeHO:_ ** yes

 **_TakenLightly:_ ** no

 **_Speccy:_ ** um

 **_RomeHO:_ ** y e s

 **_Speccy:_ ** guys

 **_TakenLightly:_ ** n o

 **_Speccy:_ ** nico

 **_RomeHO:_ ** yes

 **_TakenLightly:_ ** ur name is nico brb dying

 **_RomeHO:_ ** jordan,,,,,, how could u

 **_TakenLightly:_ ** JORDAN

 **_Speccy:_ ** i hate u

 **_RomeHO:_ ** u love me

 

 _Chat with_ **_TakenLightly_ **

**_JackyBoi:_ ** im sorry about the other day

 **_TakenLightly:_ ** which part?

 **_JackyBoi:_ ** pushing you for information you didn’t want to share

 **_JackyBoi:_ ** and fighting with kath

 **_TakenLightly:_ ** its fine, honestly i overreacted

 **_JackyBoi:_ ** i just, its kinda my job to take care of everyone, im the oldest and everyone usually comes to me with their problems and i just wanted to make sure you were ok

 **_TakenLightly:_ ** a patient of mine died

 **_JackyBoi:_ ** smalls, im sorry

 **_TakenLightly:_ ** his name was Leo, he was three days old and he didn’t even weigh two pounds yet. he could fit in the palm of one hand

 **_JackyBoi:_ ** oh god

 **_TakenLightly:_ ** i don’t talk about work with people from outside of work because things like this happen all the time

 **_TakenLightly:_ ** i told you that if i was lying to you, there was probably a very good reason. there was, there always is

 **_JackyBoi:_ ** i dont know what to say

 **_TakenLightly:_ ** just. dont worry about me

 

_Chat: Ro and Smalls are Lightweights_

**_TakenLightly:_ ** are u guys busy rn

 **_RomeHO:_ ** i would love an excuse to not be studying

 **_Speccy:_ ** just got out of the shower

 **_TakenLightly:_ ** skype?

 **_Speccy:_ ** let me find pants

 **_RomeHO:_ ** pants are always optional

 **_Speccy:_ ** ok im good

 

_Incoming Skype Video Call from Smalls to Romeo and Specs_

**_Accept_ **

 

“Hoo boy Specs,” Romeo calls and Smalls whistles. Specs flushes, pulling on a shirt,

“Shut up, I just got out of the shower,” he says and Romeo winks,

“Sure ya did,”

“For fucks sake Ro, I had rehearsal today, I actually did just get out of the shower,” he says and Romeo grins at the nickname. Smalls grabs her computer, walking from the kitchen to the couch,

“How’d rehearsal go?” she asks and Specs groans,

“Fucking choreographer changing the blocking again two weeks before the show, and now no one can remember which version is the latest so everyone is just running into each other and arguing about who's standing in whose spot,” he complains,

“That sucks,” Smalls comments and Romeo nods,

“I just want to punch him in the face sometimes,” Specs says,

“Oh come on, you haven’t thrown a punch in your entire life,” Smalls laughs,

“No I have, Romeo hasn’t though,” he says and Smalls scoffs,

“I don’t believe you,” she says and Specs laughs,

“He actually hasn’t,” he insists,

“I have never come across an issue that would require me to actually hit someone,” Romeo says and Specs puts his computer on his bed, sitting on the floor and grabbing his foam roller from the closet. Smalls snorts,

“I find that hard to believe,”

“Yeah well Specs hasn’t ever been high!” Romeo retaliates and Specs protests,

“Hey I can’t put that shit in my body! I’m constantly performing,”

“It’s ok I’ve never smoked weed before either,” Smalls says and Romeo makes a disbelieving noise,

“What? How do you make it through high school without smoking weed?”

“Oh come on, it’s not like I’ve never smoked, I just haven’t ever smoked weed,” she says passively and reaches over the back of the couch, grabbing a blanket. She turns back to the screen and Romeo and Specs are both staring at her and she freezes,

“What?”

“Smalls what the fuck do you smoke?” Specs asks and she laughs,

“Oh my god calm down, when my brot-” she stops suddenly and starts again,

“When I turned eighteen I smoked a few shitty, gas station, grape-flavored cigarillos and that was the end of that,” she says,

“What did you say?” Specs says slowly,

“I said I smoked crappy gas station cigarillos when I turned eighteen,” she says again,

“No you didn’t, you said something about your brother,” Romeo says,

“You have a brother?” Specs says and Smalls shakes her head,

“No I don’t and no I didn’t,” she says and before Ro and Specs can say anything else a door slams and they all jump,

“That was my end,” Smalls says quickly,

“SMALLS BLINK CALLED ITEY OUT ON HIS MODELING YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN IT. IT WAS SO FUCKING FUNNY,” Elmer yells from the kitchen and Specs stifles a laugh,

“On the couch!” she calls and there’s a thump from the kitchen as Elmer drops his bag,

“You better not be watching the season finale without me,” he calls, walking into the living room,

“Specs and Romeo, meet Elmer,” Smalls says and Elmer leans over her shoulder, waving at the computer screen,

“Who’s who?” he asks,

“I’m Specs,” Romeo says quickly and Smalls sighs,

“Specs is the one with glasses ya dork,” she says and Elmer leans closer,

“You need a better computer with a better screen,” he comments and Smalls wrinkles her nose,

“Oh god, Elmer you smell awful,” she says and he runs a hand through his hair,

“Yeah I got puked on. Twice,” he complains and she laughs, looking up at him,

“That sucks El,”

“Yeah I know. I’m gonna grab a shower, will you order dinner?” he asks,

“Pizza or thai?” she asks and he hums,

“Pizza,” he says, kissing her forehead,

“Don’t forget the fries this time,” he says and she flips him off,

“I won’t,” she says and Elmer tugs on her ponytail gently,

“Nice to meet you guys!” he says, walking towards the bathroom and pulling his shirt off,

“Jesus El, wait until you’re out of the room to start stripping!” Smalls yells,

“Oh come on Smalls you love it,” he calls back and she laughs, turning back to the screen,

“Sorry, I forgot his shift was almost over,” she apologizes,

“It’s cool,” Specs says,

“If you gotta go, that’s fine,” Romeo comments,

“Nah it’s fine, he takes the longest showers we probably have at least an hour,” she says pushing her hair away from her face,

“If you need to hang up so you can like, go-” Specs starts, and Smalls sticks up her hand,

“Don’t finish that sentence,” she says,

“No seriously though, it’s totally cool we get it,” Romeo says and Smalls shakes her head,

“We aren’t dating, he’s my best friend,” she says and Specs raises an eyebrow,

“And he’s gay,” she finishes and Romeo laughs,

“Specs what are you doing?” Romeo says and Smalls looks at Specs’ area of her screen. She can’t really tell what he’s doing either,

“Dying,” comes Specs voice and Romeo and Smalls crack up,

“For real, what the heck are we looking at?” Smalls says and Specs laughs too,

“My feet, probably,” he says,

“I thinks it’s a wall, actually,” Smalls says and Romeo squints at his screen,

“There’s definitely feet,” he says and Specs wiggles his toes,

“Definitely feet,” Smalls agrees,

“I’m propping my feet up on the wall because my toes are screaming at me and this makes them scream quieter,” Specs explains,

“God I am so glad dance is only my minor,” Romeo comments,

“Yeah sure, rub it in my face Ro,” Specs groans,

“I am likewise glad that I stopped officially dancing after high school. It was fun while it lasted, but it really fucked me up,” Smalls says lightly,

“You danced?” Romeo asks and Smalls nods,

“Thirteen years,” she says,

“How did we not know that,” Specs asks,

“Because it hasn’t come up ever?”

“That could be the reason,” Romeo says,

“SMALLS?” Elmer yells and Specs jumps,

“What?” Smalls yells back,

“Did you use up my fucking soap?” he calls and Romeo giggles,

“Revenge El. Revenge,”

“For WHAT?” he says incredulously,

“You used my razor to shave your face and you stole my shirt _and_ my red heels,” she says,

“I did not,”

“Which part are you denying?” she asks,

“The razor part,”

“Bitch I have not used my razor in two months and yesterday there was hair in it,” there's a pause,

“El?”

“Shut up,” he says and Specs starts to say something but Smalls holds up a finger and mouths

“Wait for it,” and a few seconds later Elmer shrieks,

“SMALLS WHAT THE FUCK,” he yells and she bursts out laughing,

“SMALLS WHAT DID YOU DO HOW THE FUCK JESUS FUCKING GRILLED CHEESE WHAT THE ACTUAL SHITTING FUCK NUGGETS,” and by this point Romeo and Specs are laughing too,

“Smalls what did you do?” Romeo chokes out,

“SHE FUCKING PUT FAKE SPIDERS IN MY CONDITIONER,” yells Elmer, slamming the door open and standing in the doorway with wet hair and a towel wrapped around him under his armpits. Smalls jumps,

“Jesus Chess El, you scared me,” she says and Elmers face softens,

“Sorry,” he says and she pushes her laptop off her lap and leaps off the couch,

“NO,” Elmer yells, scrambling back and running into his bedroom, Smalls running after him.

 

“So,” Specs says and Romeo smiles,

“You like her,” he teases quietly and Specs rolls over, looking up at the screen,

“So do you,” he retorts and Romeo flushes,

“Yeah well so do you,” he says and Specs smiles,

“Yeah well you do too,” Specs says quietly. Elmer shoves Smalls out of his room and slams the door shut. She walks back over to the couch and picks up the laptop, sitting back down,

“Sorry about that,” she says,

“You might be the pettiest person I’ve ever met,” Specs comments and Smalls smiles,

“That’s the highest compliment I have ever received,” she says wiping fake tears from her eyes,

“Honestly though, I freaking loved that shirt and he got paint on it,”

“That sounds like something Jack would do,” Specs says at the same time Romeo says,

“That sounds like something Crutchie would complain about,”

“Jack paints?” Smalls asks,

“Only every single waking hour of everyday,” Romeo says and Smalls laughs,

“He’s really good too, only he doesn’t think he is, but you should check out his paintings sometime,” Specs says and Smalls has an idea,

“Are they in a gallery or something?” she asks,

“Yeah a little one a couple blocks over from the gym,” Romeo says,

“We should go check it out sometime,” Specs says and Romeo nods,

“It’s a date!” Smalls says and right at that moment a gigantic crash comes from Elmers room,

“El?” she calls and he doesn’t respond,

“Shit, I gotta go,” she says quickly,

“Is he ok?” Specs asks,

“I have no idea, text you later?” she says and Romeo nods. She hangs up on the call and runs to Elmers room, throwing open the door,

“Elmer, you ok?” she asks and Elmer lifts his head off the ground to look at her,

“I am fine,” he says carefully, sitting up,

“What happened?” she asks, kneeling next to him and grabbing his arm,

“I tripped and knocked my lamp off the table,” he says, standing up and sure enough, a lamp lays in pieces on the floor,

“Geez, I’ll go get a broom and a trash bag,”

“No, you order the pizza, I’ll clean this up and then we need to have boy talk,” he says and she smiles,

“Can’t forget the fries,”

“Can’t forget the fries.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> um ok so i know everyone has names they prefer for the newsies real names but listen,,,,, im gonna use mine im sorry spots name isnt sean and crutchies isnt charlie


	11. The Finals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finals for most of the gang! That means stress. also albo goes to a different school thats why he gets his results faster. shoutout to my sisters bf for having the name basiler. also please specs/smalls/ro its good just consider. also theres a Direct Quote from the musical and the movie in there

_ Chat: Tiny Dancers _

**_TakenLightly:_ ** elmers fine btw he tripped and knocked a lamp over

**_RomeHO:_ ** nice

**_Speccy:_ ** honestly, that guy has quite a mouth on him

**_RomeHO:_ ** yeah some of those curses were imaginative

**_TakenLightly:_ ** well elmer went through a phase where he tried to stop cursing and he still uses some of the dumb replacements he came up with

**_RomeHO:_ ** “what the actual shitting fuck nuggets”

**_Speccy:_ ** iconic

**_TakenLightly:_ ** fuck nuggets is one of his favorites

**_TakenLightly:_ ** also you have not  _ lived  _ until u hear el curse someone out

**_TakenLightly:_ ** douche paddleboat

**_RomeHO:_ ** wtf does that mean

**_TakenLightly:_ ** u kno like douche bag

**_RomeHO:_ ** yeah

**_TakenLightly:_ ** so then he upgraded it to douche paddleboat

**_Speccy:_ ** because that's logical

**_RomeHO:_ ** yah

**_TakenLightly:_ ** yah

 

_ Saturday _

 

_ Chat: Who Runs The World? _

**_TheRealSlimShady:_ ** well i just flunked out it was nice knowin u

**_RomeHO:_ ** get rekt

**_BrooklynFTW:_ ** u ok?

**_Speccy:_ ** i mean, ur joking right

**_TheRealSlimShady:_ ** i think i actually failed

**_DavidJacobs:_ ** I think you’re fine.

**_UrNotMyDad:_ ** see look, youve got daves approval and everything

**_Patches:_ ** are yall done?

**_TakenLightly:_ ** yall,,,,,,,,

**_JackyBoi:_ ** crutch will be done in like fifteen mins

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** guys 

**_TakenLightly:_ ** what

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** i passed

**_TakenLightly:_ ** passed what

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** everything, grades just came through

**_UrNotMyDad:_ ** congrats!

**_RomeHO:_ ** that's awesome!

**_ElmStreet:_ ** congratuations!!

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** i have to be an adult tho, fuck i have to get a real job and everything

**_Patches:_ ** trust me, its not so bad

**_TakenLightly:_ ** u can do it

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** i sure can try

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** i need to be drunk

**_TheRealSlimShady:_ ** rt

**_JackyBoi:_ ** rt

**_DavidJacobs:_ ** Myself as well

**_RomeHO:_ ** wha???

**_Speccy:_ ** the one and only David Basiler Jacobs is going to get hammered???

**_ElmStreet:_ ** im sorry,,,, what is ur middle name

**_UrNotMyDad:_ ** not basiler

**_JackyBoi:_ ** not basiler

**_DavidJacobs:_ ** I don’t have one

**_Speccy:_ ** we all have guesses

**_RomeHO:_ ** cause its gotta be embarassing

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** i think its albert

**_DavidJacobs:_ ** You’re right

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** holy shit

**_UrNotMyDad:_ ** hes joking

**_CrutchPotato:_ ** im done!!

**_JackyBoi:_ ** how did it go??

**_CrutchPotato:_ ** awful!! terrible!! no good!!!! very bad!!! i need to drink

**_TakenLightly:_ ** that's not how it goes

**_Patches:_ ** im really looking forward to this party yall sound fun

**_TakenLightly:_ ** yall,,,,,,

**_Speccy:_ ** we are fun, trust me

**_TheRealSlimShady:_ ** who's the sober person?

**_UrNotMyDad:_ ** i just looked and its your turn race

**_TheRealSlimShady:_ ** i refuse

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** u cant do that

**_TheRealSlimShady:_ ** im getting smashed and nothing anyone can do will change that

**_BrooklynFTW:_ ** ill do it

**_JackyBoi:_ ** can we do that? switch people

**_CrutchPotato:_ ** i dont really think there are official rules

**_TheRealSlimShady:_ ** spot u hate being the sober person you dont have to do that

**_BrooklynFTW:_ ** somebodys gotta

**_RomeHO:_ ** good memes

**_Speccy:_ ** so spot is the sober person and everyone bring drinks

**_ElmStreet:_ ** whos got music

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** whos got what now

**_ElmStreet:_ ** music

**_Patches:_ ** it is necessary for good parties

**_TakenLightly:_ ** these guys just hit shuffle on pandora i think

**_ElmStreet:_ ** not even spotify???

**_Patches:_ ** im personally offended

**_JackyBoi:_ ** music does not make the party

**_Speccy:_ ** booze makes the party

**_ElmStreet:_ ** ill have u know smalls makes the best playlists

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** ive never been to a party where music made a difference

**_RomeHO:_ ** omfg

**_TheRealSlimShady:_ ** that's one of ur better ones

**_ElmStreet:_ ** how??? music literally decides the mood

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** i dont think it does

**_ElmStreet:_ ** then you havent been to a party with good music

 

_ Chat: Tiny Dancers _

**_Speccy:_ ** are u gonna warn him

**_TakenLightly:_ ** nah

**_RomeHO:_ ** savage

**_TakenLightly:_ ** alberts got it under control

**_Speccy:_ ** albos gonna punch him

**_TakenLightly:_ ** albos gonna kiss him

**_RomeHO:_ ** what

**_Speccy:_ ** alberts pretty stuck on race

**_RomeHO:_ ** WHAT

**_Speccy:_ ** how did u not pick up on that

**_TakenLightly:_ ** anyway,,,, trust me

**_TakenLightly:_ ** its gonna be the start of smth beautiful

**_Speccy:_ ** does elmer even know any signs

**_RomeHO:_ ** good point

**_TakenLightly:_ ** hes fluent like me

**_Speccy:_ ** right, about that

**_RomeHO:_ ** did u take it in college?

**_TakenLightly:_ ** elmer did, i did not

**_Speccy:_ ** so how did you get fluent?

**_TakenLightly:_ ** i um

**_TakenLightly:_ ** i took it in college, lets go with that

**_RomeHO:_ ** well that was convincing

**_TakenLightly:_ ** its complicated

**_Speccy:_ ** its how you learned a language

**_RomeHO:_ ** leave it

**_Speccy:_ ** sorry?

**_RomeHO:_ ** look what u did, shes pulling a davey

**_Speccy:_ ** sorry

 

_ Chat: Who Runs The World? _

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** im telling you, music makes no difference

**_ElmStreet:_ ** music makes all the difference!

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** its just vibrations

**_ElmStreet:_ ** vibrations that make you  _ feel  _ things

**_UrNotMyDad:_ ** now it just sounds like ur talking about sex toys

**_TheRealSlimShady:_ ** KATH

**_JackyBoi:_ ** savage

**_ElmStreet:_ ** that was,,,,,, not my intent

**_Patches:_ ** guys ur gonna scare elmer hes Pure

**_ElmStreet:_ ** shut up, andy

**_Patches:_ ** i actually hate u

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** andy

**_Patches:_ ** u rlly need to start going by a nickname so when u do things like this i can retaliate

**_ElmStreet:_ ** maybe that's why i dont go by a nickname

**_Patches:_ ** maybe u should start

**_ElmStreet:_ ** no

**_Patches:_ ** hey kaz

**_ElmStreet:_ ** NO

**_RomeHO:_ ** kaz?

**_ElmStreet:_ ** that was a fucking low blow

**_TheRealSlimShady:_ ** alright boys

**_BrooklynFTW:_ ** break it up

**_Speccy:_ ** unbelievable

**_Speccy:_ ** THE spot conlon

**_RomeHO:_ ** breaking up a fight instead of starting it

**_BrooklynFTW:_ ** shut up

**_TheRealSlimShady:_ ** dont u mean

**_CrutchPotato:_ ** shaddup

**_BrooklynFTW:_ ** slander

**_JackyBoi:_ ** slanda’

**_BrookylnFTW:_ ** nope

_ User  _ **_BrooklynFTW_ ** _ has left the chat _

**_TheRealSlimShady:_ ** look what u guys did

**_RomeHO:_ ** ho u started it

**_TheRealSlimShady:_ ** wow now that my bfs not here, ur talkin big ro

**_Speccy:_ ** dont call him that

**_TakenLightly:_ ** dont call him that

**_CrutchPotato:_ ** what is up with you three??

**_RomeHO:_ ** nothing

**_Speccy:_ ** shut up

**_TakenLightly:_ ** suddenly,,, i have to go

**_Patches:_ ** ummmm?

 

_ Chat: Blinks a Traitor _

**_Patches:_ ** smalls???

**_TakenLightly:_ ** wha

**_Patches:_ ** do u have a crush???

**_TakenLightly:_ ** ,,,, no

**_ElmStreet:_ ** she has TWO

**_TakenLightly:_ ** im going to punch u

**_Patches:_ ** yessss live ur best poly life

**_ElmStreet:_ ** i am living my best poly life vicariously through u

**_TakenLightly:_ ** u will find love

**_Patches:_ ** plenty of single hot guys in that gc

**_Patches:_ ** go pm someone

**_ElmStreet:_ ** yknow spot seems nice

**_TakenLightly:_ ** hes dating race

**_Patches:_ ** i think crutchie is a sweetheart

**_TakenLightly:_ ** crutchie is dating jack

**_ElmStreet:_ ** but everyones poly so i can still talk to them, see where it goes

**_TakenLightly:_ ** what about albert?

**_ElmStreet:_ ** what about him??

**_ElmStreet:_ ** hes an asshat

**_TakenLightly:_ ** ummm? hes amazing u guys should d8

**_ElmStreet:_ ** no??

**_TakenLightly:_ ** fuck?

**_ElmStreet:_ ** hes ace??

**_TakenLightly:_ ** that's not what i meant???

 

_ Chat: Tiny Dancers _

**_TakenLightly:_ ** we have a problem

**_RomeHO:_ ** whats up

**_TakenLightly:_ ** elmer likes race??

**_Speccy:_ ** ok

**_TakenLightly:_ ** what do we do??

**_Speccy:_ ** nothing?

**_TakenLightly:_ ** but hes gotta like albert

**_Speccy:_ ** oh right

**_RomeHO:_ ** we can make them dance together

**_TakenLightly:_ ** how

**_RomeHO:_ ** ur the brains of this operation kiddo

**_TakenLightly:_ ** no that's specs

**_Speccy:_ ** ummm?? no??? 

**_TakenLightly:_ ** no take backs

**_Speccy:_ ** hang on

**_TakenLightly:_ ** no

**_Speccy:_ ** you cant just hand over responsibility to me

**_TakenLightly:_ ** sure i can

**_TakenLightly:_ ** responsibility handed

**_Speccy:_ ** ro help me out

**_RomeHO:_ ** i am neutral

**_TakenLightly:_ ** not fair

**_Speccy:_ ** um the whole Point to there being three of us is that we have a tie-breaker

**_RomeHO:_ ** listen i dont want to make either of u mad at me

**_TakenLightly:_ ** listen to  _ me  _ ro

**_TakenLightly:_ ** im right

**_RomeHO:_ ** whats in it for me if i do

**_Speccy:_ ** *gasp* boo you whore

**_TakenLightly:_ ** i will give u medical advice

**_RomeHO:_ ** what is this medical advice

**_TakenLightly:_ ** it is that u need to be shirtless more bc ur abs need fresh air

**_RomeHO:_ ** im

**_Speccy:_ ** jjskjsksjksj

**_Speccy:_ ** i agree

**_TakenLightly:_ ** weve even got a second opinion, look

**_RomeHO:_ ** how do u even know i have abs

**_Speccy:_ ** he does

**_TakenLightly:_ ** i made an educated guess

**_RomeHO:_ ** im

**_RomeHO:_ ** i have to go work

**_RomeHO:_ ** but this will be revisited

**_Speccy:_ ** you short circuited him

**_TakenLightly:_ ** that is my job in this group

**_Speccy:_ ** yeah well, if ur just fucking with him or idk, playing with his feelings or some shit, 

**_TakenLightly:_ ** fucking hell specs im not messing with him

**_TakenLightly:_ ** or you

**_TakenLightly:_ ** i like you guys

**_TakenLightly:_ ** really 

**_Speccy:_ ** ok good

**_Speccy:_ ** cos i like you too

**_Speccy:_ ** and so does ro

**_Speccy:_ ** just. dont break his heart

**_TakenLightly:_ ** im not going to

**_TakenLightly:_ ** we need to talk tho,

**_TakenLightly:_ ** like all of us

**_Speccy:_ ** tonight?

**_TakenLightly:_ ** preferably 

**_Speccy:_ ** alright

 

_ Chat: Who Runs The World? _

**_CrutchPotato:_ ** well yous aint gonna be able to hide it for long, these people find out everything, very quickly

**_JackyBoi:_ ** yeah me and crutch kept our relationship from them for like,,, two days until they figured it out

**_TheRealSlimShady:_ ** ok but spot and me were dating for five months before any of you got a clue

**_DavidJacobs:_ ** That's an incorrect statement

**_TheRealSlimShady:_ ** no it isnt?

**_DavidJacobs:_ ** You started dating officially on April 12

**_TheRealSlimShady:_ ** what the fuck

**_JackyBoi:_ ** is he right??

**_TheRealSlimShady:_ ** yes wtf how did u

**_DavidJacobs:_ ** You guys were just different. I could tell

**_UrNotMyDad:_ ** you didnt say anything

**_DavidJacobs:_ ** It wasn’t mine to say anything about

**_ElmStreet:_ ** chivalry

**_Patches:_ ** u can spell chivalry but not congratulations

**_ElmStreet:_ ** treason

**_MushedUp:_ ** hey um whats ur address

**_TakenLightly:_ ** i can get us there

**_MushedUp:_ ** im coming straight from work

**_Patches:_ ** i thought ur shift ended like forever ago??

**_MushedUp:_ ** yeah that was before shit hit the fan

**_MushedUp:_ ** i might be late also

**_MushedUp:_ ** fuck i have to go, blink pls bring a change of clothes and someone send me the address

**_Patches:_ ** shit

**_TheRealSlimShady:_ ** what does that mean

**_TakenLightly:_ ** that means that someones dying and mush has to go try to make that person not die

**_JackyBoi:_ ** shit

**_ElmStreet:_ ** the change of clothes thing is weird tho

**_UrNotMyDad:_ ** why?

**_ElmStreet:_ ** bc usually u go to the hospital in normal clothes and then change there meaning u have clothes 

**_Patches:_ ** its cold

**_ElmStreet:_ ** tru

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** and for all us normals

**_Patches:_ ** if its cold u wear ur shirt under ur scrubs

**_CrutchPotato:_ ** why cant he still wear that shirt?

**_ElmStreet:_ ** um

**_Patches:_ ** well

**_TakenLightly:_ ** what these wimps are trying to say is surgery gets blood and other various things on you and your clothing

**_Speccy:_ ** im

**_DavidJacobs:_ ** That’s disgusting

**_ElmStreet:_ ** yeah well, if any of you ever need surgery im sure u wont be complaining 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was supposed to be way longer but i aint finishing it on time so im splitting it up into the chat section and then the actual party will be the next chapter. @ sam and dakota ur welcome


	12. The Softness(tm)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> literally just a recap of the party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK LISTEN  
> i wrote like 3k of the party and then i couldnt for the life of me finish it so i scrapped it and started over and ended up with this. it feels like a very different vibe than the rest of the fic but then, im in a very different headspace rn. i hope u guys like it! pretty much just some backstory stuff. tw for drinking, mentions of sex and cursing! pls let me know if theres anything you guys want tagged or mentioned

Smalls wakes up warm. It feels early and she’s not working today so she just pushes her face into her pillow and tries to fall back asleep. Except that's not a pillow. And then she remembers the party. Blink, Elmer and her getting to the apartment to find an already tipsy Race and Crutchie and an absent Davey and Kath. Jack had been sitting in a chair, dozing off, and Crutchie explained that he’d stayed up for thirty-six hours straight to finish a painting for a final and as soon as he got to Specs’ apartment he’d fallen asleep, with a promise from Crutchie to wake him once everybody got there. Mush had texted Blink to say that Davey and Kath were at the hospital with Les. Apparently Les had tried to get Davey to go to the party and Kath had gone to pick him up but he hadn’t wanted to leave Les alone so they’d both stayed. So Smalls had introduced Elmer and Blink to everyone and then Crutchie had woken Jack and the party had gotten started. Someone had decided that they should all play a getting-to-know-each-other game and, well…

* * *

 

_ “We sit in a circle and when it’s your turn you ask someone a question. They can either answer it, or take a shot and pass,” Spot continues, _

_ “The original gang, basically everyone but me and Kath, came up with it, and every time someone new joins, we all play it again,” he finishes and Smalls meets Elmers eyes from across the room. He glances at Albert next to him and signs, _

_ “This is a bad idea,” low, by his hips and she nods slowly, _

_ “I’ll be fine,” she replies and he shrugs, _

_ “I can always just take the shot,” she points out and he laughs. Elmer leans over to Blink, _

_ “She says it’s fine, wanna go for it?” he asks and Blink nods. Elmer looks up at Romeo and Jack, _

_ “We’re game,” he says and they smile at him. Everyone makes their way to the living room, pushing the coffee table out of the way and sitting on the floor. Crutchie rests his head on Jacks shoulder and smiles blearily up at him. Race sits on top of Spot and leans in. Spot pushes him away gently, _

_ “Cmon, this was your dumb idea Higgins,” he says when Race protests, pushing him off his lap and into the spot next to him. Romeo raises a hand, _

_ “Elmer and I will demonstrate,” he says, _

_ “Hang on, what?” Elmer says but Romeo keeps talking, _

_ “Why did Blink call you Kaz?” he asks and Smalls giggles, _

_ “I hate you,” Elmer says to Blink and Smalls, _

_ “My last name is Kasprzak,” he explains and Jack snorts, _

_ “That sucks,” he says and Elmer nods in agreement, _

_ “Ok, everyone clear on how to play?” Romeo asks, and everyone nods. Race declares that he is going to start, _

_ “Smalls! Italian speaking how,” he demands and she smiles at him, _

_ “Minor in Linguistics, I know four languages in varying degrees of fluency,” she explains and Specs looks at her, _

_ “I didn’t know that,” he says and she raises an eyebrow, _

_ “Isn’t that the point of this game?” she says and he shrugs. Spot, sitting next to Race, asks Elmer about his sexuality, and he stutters out gay and poly and then it’s Romeos turn, _

_ “How did you learn to sign?” he asks Smalls and she glares at him, _

_ “Unfair,” _

_ “Hey answer or drink,” he replies and she eyes the bottle in the middle of the circle, _

_ “I grew up signing,” she says and Ro nods like he was expecting it, _

_ “Parents?” he asks and she shoots him a look, _

_ “It’s not your turn anymore,” she teases, turning to Blink, _

_ “Cover Els eyes,” she says and Blink shifts behind Elmer, who protests as Blink shoves his hands over his eyes, _

_ “Albert, what do you think of Elmer?” she signs quickly and Race stifles a laugh. Albert raises his eyebrows but passes two fingers in front of his nose quickly, _

_ “Cute,” and she smiles, nodding at Blink, who returns to his seat quickly. Specs, sitting on the other side of Smalls, looks at her, _

_ “Parents?” he says and she groans, _

_ “I say again, unfair,” she complains. Specs just smiles at her and she thinks for a second, _

_ “No,” she finally says, _

_ “My parents don’t know any sign language,” she says vaguely and Specs looks confused, but Jack is on his other side and he quickly whispers something in Crutchies ear, who blushes and says, _

_ “Maybe,” and then asks Blink about the weirdest thing he’s ever seen at the hospital. Elmer says something under his breath about toothbrush man and Blink laughs, outlining the case. While everyone is engrossed in his story, Specs leans back, stretching an arm behind Smalls towards Ro, who mimics his posture and laces their fingers together. Smalls snorts softly, _

_ “Subtle,” she says quietly, tangling her feet with Romeos. Specs protests and Smalls makes a snide comment about how maybe “If you weren’t so damn tall I could reach your feet” and Ro snickers, _

_ “Romeo!” Elmer calls and he looks up, _

_ “What?”  _

_ “How did you get your nickname?” he asks and Race groans. Specs takes a sip of water and Romeo takes a deep breath, _

_ “I slept with Race,” he says quickly and Specs spits his water out, coughing, _

_ “What?!” he says and Romeo laughs uncomfortably, _

_ “It was a while ago, right after we met, and I used really dumb pickup lines on him, so, Romeo,” he explains and Race flushes. Spot laughs, _

_ “Who would have known. Dumb pickup lines? Really Race?” Spot asks and Race flops backwards dramatically, _

_ “I hate you,” he says faintly and Smalls gets Alberts attention, _

_ “Well there’s the underwear explanation,” she signs and he bites his lip, _

_ “I guess,” he signs and Elmer taps his leg gently, _

_ “You ok?” he asks once Albert is looking at him and he runs a hand through his hair, nodding slowly. Smalls smiles softly and Albert looks back at her, _

_ “What do you think of Specs and Romeo?” he signs and she smirks, signing, _

_ “Cute,” same as he had earlier. Elmer coughs, hiding his smirk and she frowns at him, _

_ “Not a single word Kasprzak,” she says and Jack laughs. Blink opens his mouth to ask his question and someone knocks on the door. _

* * *

 

  
Mush had showed up after an hour, quickly disappearing into the bathroom with Blink to change. Race, Crutchie, Mush, and Albert had easily drank the most, meaning Spot, Jack, Blink, and Elmer hadn’t had much, because they were too busy keeping an eye out. Smalls had pulled Romeo and Specs into the kitchen to talk, although there hadn’t really been much talking. Something had happened with Albert and Elmer, by the end of the night, Albert had fallen asleep in his customary spot on the floor leaning up against the couch- this time in Elmers lap. The party had wound down fairly early, everyone was exhausted after pulling shifts at work topped with studying and finishing projects. Crutchie and Jack had ended up asleep on the couch, cuddling. Mush and Blink had been talking, tangled together in a chair near where Smalls, Specs, and Romeo were sitting on the floor playing cards. Race had been throwing up in the bathroom with Spot there for moral support. Music had still been playing softly in the background and the whole apartment had been wrapped in a sleepy silence. Specs had dragged out air mattresses and blankets for Albert, Elmer, Mush, Blink, Spot and Race. Elmer had just carried Albert over to one and dumped him on it rather than trying to wake him. Specs, Smalls, and Romeo had eventually moved to Specs’ room so they could keep talking without keeping anyone else up. Eventually they’d fallen asleep. Somehow, Smalls had ended up between the two boys, head on Specs’ chest and Romeo sprawled half on top of her. Which explains the  _ warm _ . And the  _ safe.  _ Neither of them are awake yet, but she can smell the coffee that means Race and Jack are awake. They’ll have to get up eventually. But for now, they can stay. Warm. And safe. 


	13. The Fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> three months have passed and now its fall! fall things happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so the next few chapters are moving through a year by season, so these events are in order, but things happen between them. also shoutout to Kira for fixing the grammar for me

**FALL**

 

Baking seemed like a good idea. After three months of dating, you would think that the three could do something so domestic as making cookies together easily. But no. Dough was on the fridge and Smalls had flour on her cheeks and Specs had it in his hair. Romeo was sitting on the counter, swinging his feet  as he offered occasional encouragement, tasting the cookie dough, no matter how much Smalls tried to tell him not to. 

“Hey Ro, taste this,” she finally says after about the tenth time of telling him off,

“What is it?”

“Vanilla extract, it’s what makes them sweet,” she says with a straight face, holding out a teaspoon of vanilla extract. Romeo eyes it cautiously but takes it and sniffs it. Smalls smiles innocently at him as he sticks it in his mouth. Specs stifles a laugh while Romeo's face sours, 

“What the fuck,”

“I never said it tasted good,” Smalls points out. Romeo pouts, leaning back on the cabinet,

“I can’t believe my girlfriend betrayed me,” he says dramatically and Specs snorts. Romeo grabs his sleeve, yanking him against him,

“You’ve gotta take my side Jordan! We must unite against her,” he declares and Smalls sticks her tongue out at him,

“Specs will take my side because I actually helped in the cookie making process. You just sat there,” she fires back,

“I also taste tested,” he says. Smalls brandishes a spatula at him,

“Taste testing requires consuming a small amount of the product. You just ate the dough, plain and simple,” she points out as Specs grabs the spatula out of her hand, placing it on the counter before stepping next to her and resting his other arm on her shoulders, 

“I have to agree with Miss Beacon here,” he announces and Romeo groans.

“Besides, you really shouldn’t eat raw cookie dough because of the eggs.” Smalls points out. 

Romeo drops his head back onto the cabinets,  “You guys both suck.” he complains.

Smalls laughs, stepping forward and kissing his nose. Specs moves to stand behind her and she turns, leaning against Romeo and putting her hands on either side of Specs’ neck. Romeo scoots forward, grabbing one of Specs’ hands before placing the other on her hip. Specs smiles and leans forward, brushing his lips against Smalls’ jaw. The door opens, but none of them notice until it slams shut. Smalls jumps, and Specs pulls away, turning to look at the door. Albert is pushing Elmer up against the door, kissing passionately, fingers in his hair. Romeo, Specs, and Smalls all look at each other in disbelief and Romeo laughs after a second. Elmer pulls back slightly, flushing when he sees the others,

“I thought you were going to Specs’ place.” he stutters out as Albert kisses his neck.

“We were,” Smalls says. Elmer groans, pushing Albert away gently and nodding towards the kitchen. Albert lets go of him and waves at them before grabbing Elmers hands and pulling him into his room, shutting the door behind him. Smalls laughs,

“Anybody fancy a walk?” 

 

* * *

 

 

Smalls is asleep. Fell asleep on the couch right in the middle of the movie, right in the middle of  _ date night _ . Twenty-four hour shifts will do that to you. Two trains had collided and the hospital had been swamped, combined with trains not running meaning some people couldn’t get to their shifts. And  _ that _ meant Elmer, Mush, Blink, and Smalls had needed to pull shifts on top of shifts on top of shifts to stay ahead of the steady flow of patients. Elmer, Blink, and Mush were still at the hospital but Smalls had finally been allowed to leave, and she’d gone straight to Romeo’s apartment where she knew both he and Specs were. 

Romeo shared his apartment with Race and Spot but both of them were working so they had the place to themselves. Some Marvel movie was playing as Romeo leaned on Specs’ shoulder. Smalls had ended up draped over their laps while Specs carded his fingers through her hair gently, his other arm draped over Romeo’s shoulders. 

Romeo had just nodded off when Smalls shifted. Both boys immediately froze, trying not to wake her up. She frowns, eyebrows pulling together and breath hitching slightly. Romeo looks over at Specs, who meets his gaze and they know the other is thinking the same thing.  _ Nightmare.  _ Or, not. Smalls had told them on one particularly bad night that she  _ hated  _ calling them that. Nightmares are childish, she’d said. These were just memories. Remembering things she never dwelled on awake only happened when she was exhausted, she had explained. When her brain got too tired of fighting them off. She’d had it rough, that they already knew, and she didn’t want to talk about it. So they didn’t. So they don’t. But a twenty-four hour shift is about as exhausted as you can get. Neither of the boys are quite sure how to deal with not knowing everything about each other but they were all figuring it out together. 

In addition to that, after about a month, Elmer had given them “the talk”. The ‘if you hurt her I will kill you and don’t doubt it, I have access to very strong anesthetics and the training necessary to calculate the correct dosages for you and go just a bit over”. A bit different than any other version of the talk, but he’d also impressed on them that he was Smalls’  _ person  _ and both of them walked away with the sense that they could talk to him about anything. So far, they’d been fine. Things had slipped through the cracks. Like the nightmares, which circles back to the present. Smalls inhales sharply, eyes flying open. She looks at Specs and Romeo in confusion and groans. An explanation isn’t offered and Romeo an Specs know by this point not to expect one. Specs moves his other hand and starts twisting her hair into a braid. Romeo watches his fingers move as Smalls’ eyes slip shut again, relaxing into him and Ro. He finishes the braid in silence only broken by the credit music on the television before gently pulling his fingers through it, undoing the braid and starting over with a different kind of braid.  Romeo watches for a few more seconds,

“Where did you learn that? You don’t have any siblings,” Romeo asks.

“That’s not true,” Specs says distractedly and Romeo coughs,

“What?”

“I grew up in a foster home with a shit ton of other kids,” he says and Smalls shifts,

“Sorry,” he says.She blinks up at him,

“No keep talking, you have a very nice voice,” 

He smiles, “Sniper was the oldest girl and I was the oldest boy, so every morning Snipes would do all the younger kids’ hair if it was long enough. It was nice. Mornings were so chaotic, when I moved into my first apartment it was like culture shock. I couldn’t deal, I had to make so much noise, I’d play music and bang around while making breakfast. It pissed my roommate off so much, but I got used to the quiet eventually. Anyways, Snipes aged out and left to go work as a mechanic in… California I think. Before she left, she said she needed to “train” me to take over for her as resident hair person. So she taught me how to do lots of stuff and deal with lots of different types of hair. It’s kind of relaxing at this point, busy fingers mean a quiet mind and all that,” he finishes.Smalls smiles sleepily,

“Surgeons are supposed to braid. Dexterous fingers and all. Mush tried to learn but he’s awful at it. Couldn’t make a recognizable braid if his life depended on it,” she yawns and Romeo snuggles into Specs’ shoulder more,

“I don’t have any siblings. It’s not fair,” he pouts,

“You don't know how lucky you are,” Smalls says and Specs hums,

“Do you have siblings?” he asks. She frowns again,

“I told you I didn’t but Elmer probably told you I did after he told you in detail how he would murder you,” she says. 

Romeo smiles, “He didn’t say anything about that,” he says and she looks up at them, 

“Oh,” 

“Oh,” Specs agrees,

“You don’t have to talk about it,” he starts but she interrupts,

“I have a brother. Well, two brothers. Elmer is the only one I really care about,” she stops and Specs thinks  _ progress _ , 

“And the other one?” Romeo asks quietly,

“Matt,” she says so quietly they would have missed it if they weren’t paying attention,

“Matthew Jacob Beacon,” she says under her breath,

“ _ God,  _ I haven’t said his name in months. El always said that I shouldn’t be scared of it. Or him. But I just never talked about him. Out of sight out of mind.” Specs and Romeo both realize at the same time that tired Smalls has  _ very  _ few barriers, 

“Are you?” Romeo asks, “scared of him I mean.”

“Hm. I was. For a long time. But now, I don’t think so,” she mumbles,

“How long has it been since you’ve seen him?”

“Years,” she says with Specs’ hands still in her hair,

“ _ Years _ ?” he asks and she nods in agreement. Specs resumes braiding and Smalls yawns again,

“Anything else you want to ask while I have no boundaries?” she says, gesturing a hand vaguely. Specs laughs but Romeo looks thoughtful,

“What’s your name?” he asks and Smalls stiffens,

“You don’t have to-”

“You can’t use it,” she says,

“El knows it and Mush knows it but  _ only _ El is allowed to use it. I’ll tell you why sometime, but not now, ok?” she asks and both boys nod. She exhales, relaxing again and for a moment, it seems like she’s fallen asleep. 

“Emma.”

 

* * *

  
  


“I still don’t get why we’re doing this,” Smalls says.

Jack gasps dramatically, throwing a hand over his heart, “Because it’s a tradition! A traditional fall activity!” he exclaims and Elmer snorts,

“Yeah, Smalls wouldn’t know anything about those,” 

She smacks his arm lightly,

“Yeah well it’s not like you ever did it either. Nothing in our house was traditional,” she says lightly while Specs tugs his fingers through her hair again, undoing the braid he’d just finished and starting over,

“You guys grew up together?” Romeo, sitting next to her on the ground, asks,

“How did you  _ not  _ know that?” she responds.He shakes his head lightly,

“No, I mean in the same house,” he says and she meets Elmers gaze from where he’s sitting with Albert.

“Yeah, I uh, moved out of my house and into El’s when I was thirteen,” she says.

Spot looks up, “Runaway?” he asks and Race hits the back of his head, 

“Ow! What? She doesn’t have to answer,” he says. Smalls shuts her eyes, leaning back against Specs’ legs,

“No,” she says quietly,

_ Get. Out. You are not welcome here anymore, and so help me, if you ever come back… _

“Not a runaway.” 

 

The doorknob turns and Kath walks in, followed by Davey and Les. Les is smiling brightly and there’s a moment of silence before Mush breaks it,

“Heya kid!” he calls,

“Potato!” Les responds.

Crutchie laughs, “What?”

“His name is Mush! Like the potatoes? Mushed potatoes!” Les says and Davey laughs too,

“ _ Mashed  _ potatoes, Les,  _ mashed, _ ” 

Les glares at him, “I’m thirteen years old, David, I know it’s mashed potatoes,” 

“Yeah Mouth, give the kid some credit,” Spot says and David flips him off behind Les’ back. 

Jack stands up, getting everyone’s attention, “Ok listen up fuckers!” 

Race snorts and Davey frowns at Jack, “Hey watch it,”

Les looks at Davey, “It’s ok Dave, I’ve heard the word fuck before. I go to public school, and I ride the bus,” 

“Anyways! The kitchen is all set up already and so is everybody ready?” Jack asks, ignoring Jack and Les. Everyone stands up and meanders to the kitchen. Smalls is still complaining about this being an archaic tradition with no real basis in anything. Jack and Crutchie had set up the kitchen in their apartment, covering the floor in newspapers. Somehow, they’d gotten four pumpkins from a patch outside the city and Jack was apparently a carving enthusiast, so he’d supplied a myriad of tools. This included a tiny saw that he assured David would only be used by him. Les was  _ beyond  _ excited to be out of the hospital, even if it was just for an afternoon. Mush, Blink, Elmer and Smalls had managed to convince the head doctors on his case that he could handle an afternoon in an apartment carving pumpkins and drinking hot chocolate. So that was what they did. Les and Jack started on the first pumpkin, Les designing it and helping to scoop out the seeds. Specs grabbed a chair from the table, sitting in it backwards, resting his forearms on the back. Crutchie leaned his crutches against the fridge, claiming another of the chairs. Davey sat on the ground, leaning against the dishwasher, watching Les carefully. Smalls walked over to him, nudging his leg with her foot and sitting next to him,

“You know he’s going to be okay, right?” she asks and he nods,

“I know,” he says quietly and she tousles his hair playfully,

“We’re all gonna be okay.” 


	14. The Winter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Winter!   
> tw for nightmares/flashbacks, as well as the usual stuff (hospitals, injury)

_ It’s dark. She’d shut her eyes awhile ago. Now she’s just… drifting. It’s cold, and everything  _ hurts.  _ She isn’t really sure where she is, just that she doesn’t want to be there anymore. Something is beeping. The hurt intensifies and she curls in on herself more, pressing her hands over her mouth. Someone is saying something but she just wants to sleep. She slips a little more into the darkness and the beeping becomes an incessant drone. She wishes someone would shut it off. People are definitely talking now. Loudly. She wishes they’d just shut up. She’s had enough yelling in her life. Things keep flashing in front of her eyes. Her mother’s funeral, the scent of pine thick around the people gathered. Matt’s friend Max sporting a black eye. Matt’s ex-friend Max asking her if he ever hit her. Ames- God, Amelia’s  _ face _. Just her face. Someone else is talking now. This voice she knows. Elmer. _

_ “Emma! Jesus Christ what happened?! Emma? Fuck, fuck, Emma wake up!” _

“Emma!” Smalls jerks awake, gasping in a breath, chest heaving. Elmer is gripping both of her wrists, concern etching his features. She sits up carefully, half expecting old injuries to still be there. Elmer lets go of her and sits back on the bed, running a hand through his hair,

“Jesus Em, are you ok?” he asks quietly.

She exhales, “Yeah,” her throat is raw and she knows he isn’t buying it. He shifts, sitting next to her, leaning up against the wall together. Her head falls back against the wall as she shuts her eyes again. 

_ The worst part was right after. It’d been dark. And quiet. And it hurt like hell, but not quite as much anymore. She’d just been drifting. Then the front door had opened. She’d forgotten she was supposed to finish that project with him. He hadn’t.   _

“Smalls? Hey! Look at me, come on,” Elmer pushes a strand of hair behind her ear, cupping her chin. Her eyes are unfocused and he can tell that wherever she is right now, it is definitely not in an apartment at nineteen years old with him. Based on what she’d been screaming earlier, she was right back at thirteen on the floor of the foyer of her childhood home. God, he hadn’t let himself think about that in  _ years.  _ This is exactly why. 

_ He’d let himself freak out for exactly thirty seconds. When he’d opened that door he told himself,  _ thirty seconds. That's all you get.  _ And he’d done it. Thirty seconds of hyperventilating and shaking hands and a few tears. And then he’d shut it down. Shut it down hard. Carried her to the car. He’d known he couldn’t call nine-one-one. So he’d driven to the hospital himself. Parked in the ambulance bay. Carried her into the ER and yelled until someone noticed.  _

This is exactly why. Except he should have known. It’s winter. It’s  _ December.  _ December twenty-first. The day everything fell apart. Well, that's a bit dramatic but, it’s what Smalls has always said. 

_ “Happy birthday!” _

_ “No” _

_ “No?” _

_ “Not happy” _

_ “C’mon, everyone likes their birthday!” _

_ “It’s not my birthday” _

_ “What?” _

_ “It’s the day everything falls apart” _

_ “Smalls-” _

_ “Don’t”  _

_ She’d left Max standing in the hallway next to Andy, and he’d known that he’d messed up even before Elmer smacked the back of his head sharply before going after her. He hadn’t found her. Not until much later. Not until after he’d freaked out and gotten Max and Andy to help and had come this close to calling Amelia, on the off chance Smalls had gone back. But she’d shown up, eventually. That particular day they refer to as The Crisis. _

* * *

 

_ New Messages in Chat: Who runs The World? _

**_RomeHO:_ ** my friends

**_RomeHO:_ ** thomas sanders is an amazing human bean 

**_MushedUp:_ ** BIG MOOD   
**_Speccy:_ ** hes a bigger bundle of sunshine than crutchie

**_JackyBoi:_ ** #rude and disrespectful 

**_TakenLightly:_ ** ,,,, whom

**_ElmStreet:_ ** SMALLS

**_RomeHO:_ ** how

**_UrNotMyDad:_ ** isnt that the vine guy

**_Patches:_ ** MOTHERF-

**_RomeHO:_ ** FATHER. now you!

**_BrooklynFTW:_ ** brother. I love word association games

**_TheRealSlimShady:_ ** s p o t

**_RomeHO:_ ** im shook

**_DavidJacobs:_ ** I’m confused 

**_RomeHO:_ ** hi confused and shook, jacks dad

**_MushedUp:_ ** did you just make a dad joke,,, for jack

**_JackyBoi:_ ** he does that on occasion

**_TakenLightly:_ ** im still confused

**_Speccy:_ ** hello, my chemically unbalanced romance

**_RomeHO:_ ** wow marry me?

**_TakenLightly:_ ** #rude and disrespectful

**_RomeHO:_ ** cant spell disrespectful without specs

**_Speccy:_ ** thanks?

**_MushedUp:_ ** whats hot with the kids these days?

**_ElmStreet:_ ** KNIVES

**_TakenLightly:_ ** _ what _

**_RomeHO:_ ** ok hang on

 

_ Chat: AVERAGE SIZED Dancers _

**_RomeHO:_ ** [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S9xPOCk91mc&list=PLYA7DZ_sbUzvB1l6KsO5LZV2rrk2u1xl4 ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S9xPOCk91mc&list=PLYA7DZ_sbUzvB1l6KsO5LZV2rrk2u1xl4)

**_Speccy:_ ** literally we should binge all of them tonight

**_RomeHO:_ ** Y E S

**_TakenLightly:_ ** i am free tonight

**_RomeHO:_ ** ok this is happening

**_Speccy:_ ** ok i get off work in like a half hour 

**_RomeHO:_ ** i can grab dinner from the vietnamese place on the way home 

**_Speccy:_ ** wait ur working right now

**_RomeHO:_ ** yah im in the back room chilling

**_Speccy:_ ** im on front desk

**_RomeHO:_ ** wow and u havent snuck off to kiss me yet?

**_TakenLightly:_ ** #rude and disrespectful

**_RomeHO:_ ** see, me n smalls are eyeshadow buddies

**_TakenLightly:_ ** the what buddies?

**_Speccy:_ ** yeow loud noises

**_TakenLightly:_ ** w h a t i s h a p p e n i n g 

**_RomeHO:_ ** ,,,, tonight

**_TakenLightly:_ ** slightly ominous

**_TakenLightly:_ ** wait why are you working?? you still had a fever this morning 

**_Speccy:_ ** wait what

**_RomeHO:_ ** im  _ fine _

**_TakenLightly:_ ** _ no _

**_Speccy:_ ** hold on

**_RomeHO:_ ** im fine and i went to work like normal

**_TakenLightly:_ ** u left early for rehearsal and then ro woke up with a fuckin 103 degree fever and wouldn’t let me take him to the hospital but he promised he’d stay home and  _ rest _

**_RomeHO:_ ** smalllllllssssss

**_Speccy:_ ** romeo wtf

**_RomeHO:_ ** im fine

**_TakenLightly:_ ** that phrase is no longer available for your use

**_RomeHO:_ ** i am fine, i am working, i definitely didn’t pass out at all

**_Speccy:_ ** _ romeo _

**_TakenLightly:_ ** ??????

**_RomeHO:_ ** listen,,, im always sick, specs can confirm

**_Speccy:_ ** ok that's true but not this bad?? u never get fevers??

**_TakenLightly:_ ** ok but how many times have you had a fever, known it, and lied so you could still do whatever

**_RomeHO:_ ** suddenly,,,, i must go

**_Speccy:_ ** oh my god??

* * *

 

Specs had finally finished up the winter performance, which Smalls and Romeo had attended, and headed home to shower and cuddle. The weeks leading up to the show had been filled with rehearsals, leaving Specs struggling to keep up with his classes and spend time with his significant others. So now that he’s done, he has three weeks before the next show starts rehearsing and he plans to spend as much of it with Smalls and Romeo as possible, starting with tonight. So far, it was going well. Specs had picked the movie and they’d all tangled together on the couch. Romeo wouldn’t stop complaining about how cold Smalls’ apartment is until she’d yanked the blankets off her bed, dragging them out to the couch and dumping them on him. He’d fallen asleep shortly after, squished between the back of the couch and Smalls, covered in blankets. Specs was pretty sure that Smalls was also asleep, and he knew he should wake them up to move to her bed, or at least one of them would wake up on the floor. They’d all discovered this the hard way, proving that three people can’t  _ really  _ fit on a standard couch. 

Specs disentangles himself from Smalls and Romeo, standing and scooping her up, carrying her to her room, placing her gently on the bed before going back for Romeo. Smalls is all spread out by the time he gets back, taking up as much of the bed as possible with her short stature and he has to nudge her over a bit to set Romeo down. Romeo yawns, rolling over and snuggling into her side and Specs just smiles softly at them. He grabs the blankets, still left on the couch, and tosses them haphazardly onto the bed before climbing in himself. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk what it was about this chapter but i could not get it right. ive finally just decided to post it but i may go back and edit it later lol


	15. The Spring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> guys theres only like three chapters left of this im.

Elmer has been sitting on the couch in the living room for three hours.  _ Nope,  _ he thinks, looking at the clock,  _ four hours.  _

_ It’s probably nothing.  _

Smalls had texted him saying not to wait up, that she was hanging out with Specs and Romeo tonight. Which would be fine. Which  _ had  _ been fine. Right up until Specs’ texted him asking if Smalls was feeling better. Because  _ apparently,  _ she’d been sick and stayed with Elmer for the night. He hadn’t even bothered texting her or calling, knowing from experience that she wouldn’t respond anyway. So, as much as he hates it, he is sitting on the couch in the living room. For four hours. 

Around midnight, he calls backup. Mush and Blink show up and crash on the couch with him. It’s easier to stay awake with company. They play cards and talk, about work, and relationships, and definitely  _ not  _ Smalls. Mush mentions Amelia in passing, how much she loved playing cards with them and the conversation continues. 

 

At two in the morning, the door opens slowly and the boys on the couch exchange glances. Smalls shuts the door quietly behind her and pauses in between the living room and the kitchen,

“You didn’t have to wait up for me,” she says softly and Elmer scoffs,

“The hell we didn't,” and he can almost hear her flinch,

“What happened?” Mush asks quietly and she starts walking again, past the couch toward her room without saying anything. Blink reaches out and grabs her hand as she walks by, making her stop and face them. Elmer curses softly and Mush leans forward, looking at the bruised eye and jaw, and the dried blood under her nose that looks like its been hastily wiped at. All three of them stand, Mush gently pulling her into a hug and Blink and Elmer heading to Elmers room. He grabs a black bag out of the bottom of his closet and tosses it to Blink, pulling his phone out of his pocket. 

 

_ Chat with  _ **_ShutUpAlbert_ **

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** let me know, ok? 

 

**_ElmStreet:_ ** shes home

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** is she alright?

**_ElmStreet:_ ** not sure yet

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** need backup?

**_ElmStreet:_ ** nah, blink and mush are still here

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** ok

**_ElmStreet:_ ** maybe later though

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** let me know when

**_ElmStreet:_ ** <3

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** yeah, yeah, ya dork

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** <3

 

As he walks back out to the living room, he can hear the strains of conversation,

“... who?” from Blink and then,

“Spot-”

“ _ Spot? _ ” Elmer says incredulously and Mushs face hardens,

“I will kill him,” he says decisively and Smalls shakes her head, 

“ _ No,  _ he didn’t- we were sparring and-” Mush presses a square of cotton soaked in hydrogen peroxide against her nose and she inhales sharply, cutting herself off,

“ _ Ow _ , fucker that  _ hurts _ ,”

“Yeah well maybe if you didn’t actively  _ look  _ for trouble, this wouldn’t be an issue,” Elmer says sharply,

“Yeah well maybe if you let me take care of myself instead of trying to be my  _ parents  _ or some shit-”

“Hey,” Elmer interrupts, “you aren’t allowed to yell at us because we’re trying to  _ help  _ you. We are not the bad people in this situation and you can’t-”

“Don’t even t-”

“Shut up! Just shut up for a second, both of you,” Mush says seriously and holds up a hand in front of Smalls’ face, “follow my finger.” 

Blink rummages through a side pocket of the black bag and hands Mush a penlight,

“Look straight ahead,” he says and flicks the light across her eyes. Elmer finally moves out of the doorway, stepping into the living room,

“What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing, I think,” Mush bites his lip and Elmer looks at him,

“You  _ think _ ?” 

“ _ Shut up _ El, it’s three in the morning I’m doing my best,” he snaps and Blink puts a hand on his shoulder,

“Hey, it’s fine, everyone’s fine, just take a breath,” Blink says and Mush leans backward,

“Smile,” he tells Smalls and she rolls her eyes,

“I’m not having a fucking stroke Max,” 

“Humor me,” he says and she smiles sarcastically at him. He holds her hands gently,

“Squeeze,” he requests and she does,

“I’m fine, I promise,” she insists and Elmer rolls his eyes,

“Alright. I’m calling Specs and Romeo-”

“No, jesus, don’t do that,” she interrupts, standing halfway up before Blink pushes her back down,

“No standing for you dude,” he says mildly and she frowns at him,

“Who are you again?” 

Everyone freezes. 

“Wh- What?”

“Jesus, Emma,” Elmer whispers and she grins at him,

“Just kidding, but for real, I’m  _ fine _ , I just-” she cuts herself off, yawning, “tired,”   
  


“For fucks sake, that wasn’t funny,” Blink says shakily and Smalls leans forward, resting her head on his chest,

“Sorry Ands,” 

“Ok well, I’m pretty sure you aren’t concussed, and I’m assuming-”

“No hospital,”

“Right so really you should stay awake for a few hours to make sure you won’t stop breathing or something equally as dumb, but other than that,” Mush shrugs,

“Great!” she stands and starts walking to her room,

“You still have to tell us what happened!” Elmer calls after her. She makes a noncommittal noise, and calls back,

“No I don’t!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the whole "black bag" thing is like. elmer and mush keep fully stocked high quality first aid kits in their closets for when shit like this happens also i need everyone to understand that after this. after this chapter, everything goes To Shit very quickly so be ready


	16. The Angst (start)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yep

“So what are we watching?” 

“Buzzfeed Unsolved, because I would die for Ryan if he asked,” Romeo comments, tossing a milk dud in the air and catching it with his mouth. Smalls chucks a piece of popcorn at him and Specs yells from the kitchen,

“Stop wasting the food!” 

“Oooo we should order pizza,” Romeo says and Smalls sits bolt upright,

“Dude,  _ yes _ ,” she says, pulling out her phone,

“Specs, what do you want on the pizza?” she calls to Specs and he groans,

“Are you serious right now?” he asks, walking into the living room and placing the drinks on the table before flopping on top of them. Romeo, now smushed between Smalls and Specs, starts laughing and pushing at Specs lightly. Smalls reaches around Romeo and tickles Specs, who yelps and tumbles onto the floor. Romeo laughs harder and Smalls tries to tickle him but he just grabs her hands and threads his fingers through hers,

“Not ticklish,” he says and she pulls him back against her, bending her legs and using the leverage to shove him off the couch and he falls on top of Specs. Smalls stretches out exaggeratedly on the couch and looks at the boys on the floor,

“So what do we want on the pizza?” 

 

* * *

 

The doorbell rings.  _ Again.  _ No one moves to get it. Smalls finally pushes Specs away,

“Pizza,” she mumbles and he pulls back, 

“Why do I have to get it?”

“You’re closest,” Romeo says, also pushing him. He groans, standing and pausing the youtube video and going to the door,

“Hey, Ro, grab my wallet from the kitchen?” he asks and Romeo groans, but stands and moves to the kitchen. Smalls stretches out on the couch and takes a second to enjoy what her life  _ is  _ right now. Two great date mates, a steady job, living with her best friend, finally actually being supported by the people around her. It’s a good set up. 

 

Specs catches the wallet tossed to him by Romeo and opens the door,

“How much do I owe you?” he asks, pulling his wallet open,

“What?” 

“For the p- oh,” he looks up and pauses for a second because the person at the door is so familiar and yet he doesn’t know who it is. In any case, she’s not holding a pizza. He leans against the doorframe, pocketing his wallet,

“What can I do for you?” he asks and she runs a hand through her hair and again, he thinks  _ I know this person _ . 

“I’m sorry, I think I have the wrong apartment,” she says and he smiles openly at her,

“Maybe not, I don’t actually live here, my girlfriend does, who are you looking for?” she looks at him skeptically but hesitantly responds,

“I’m looking for Emma. Emma Beacon?” she asks and he instantly freezes, moving to cover more of the doorway,

“Why?” he asks and she looks at him appraisingly,

“Because she’s m-”

“Who’s at the door?” Smalls calls from the living room and the girls face pales. Specs opens his mouth and she pushes past him into the apartment,

“Emma!” she says and Smalls, standing halfway to the door, freezes. Stops dead in her tracks and stares at her. Romeo comes in from the kitchen and moves in between the two girls. Smalls’ gaze hardens and she reaches forward, grabbing Ros arm and yanking him back, out of the way, pressing forward, into the girls space,

“What the fuck are you  _ doing  _ here? God, I thought you said you never wanted to see me again-”

“That’s not fair-”

“Not fair!? You seemed to think it was pretty fair for  _ six years-”  _ They are talking over each other, interrupting and cutting off,

“How was I supposed to find you once I realized you were gone-”

“That was the whole point of leaving!”

“Yeah no shit,”

“Well I’m sorry that I accomplished my goal-”

“That’s not wha-”

“Then what the fuck is it about? Why are you  _ here _ ?” The other girl opens her mouth and shuts it. Smalls backs up, running a hand through her hair and waiting a few seconds before speaking again,

“Six years. Six years Ames. Six  _ years, _ ”

“You think I don’t know that? God-”

“You can’t burst into my  _ home  _ randomly and-”

“You left me with no way to find you-”

“Again, my  _ point, _ -” 

“Once I realized I was wrong,”

“You. What?” 

“I was  _ wrong _ . God, Em you were right, I should have left with you, I should never have stayed-” 

“Hold on,” Specs raises a hand, and both girls look at him,

“What the  _ fuck  _ is going on? Do you know her?” he asks, gesturing at the girl. Smalls looks at him and back at her before nodding slowly,

“Yeah. She’s-” 

“Full stop,” the girl says suddenly and Smalls flinches violently, and immediately stops speaking. Romeo steps between them again, back to Smalls and stares the girl down,

“I think you should leave,” he says coldly and she opens her mouth,

“I-”

“No, I said leave. Get out. I don’t know who you are. I don’t really know what you want. But I need you to  _ get. Out. _ ” She still doesn’t move, but her eyes flick to Smalls, behind Romeo and something…  _ shifts _ . 

“He’s dead,” she says and Smalls rolls her eyes,

“No he’s not,”

“Not him.  _ Him, _ ” she says and Smalls raises an eyebrow,

“Right because that helps  _ so  _ much,” Smalls says sarcastically,

“Shut up for a second would you? You never used to be this much of a smart ass-” Specs steps forward, grabbing her arm and pulling her back, toward the door,

“Ok, I think Rome had the right idea-”

“He’s  _ dead,  _ Emma. Dad’s dead.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> told ya


	17. The Consequence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tw for violence, injury, hospitals, death, emotional intensity, etc

“Meyers! Incoming trauma, might be surgical, you coming?”    
Mush groans, rubbing the heel of his hand across his eyes and standing. He’d been hoping to sleep for a few hours, maybe even head home for a bit but apparently the good citizens of lower manhattan can’t keep from being seriously injured for a few hours,

“What happened?” he calls after Henry, who turns, walking backwards,

“Not sure but I heard something about an abdominal slash wound, stab wounds to the shoulders, cracked ribs, concussion, and various other stuff from getting beaten up pretty bad,” Mush whistles,

“Jesus, poor guy. Any idea what he did?” he catches up to Henry and they both head toward the ER,

“Nope, but apparently it’s a girl and I’m betting domestic violence,” he says and Mush curses, slipping gloves and a trauma gown on before pushing through the doors,

“Where’s everybody else?” he asks Henry and he shrugs,

“No idea, but it means I’ve only got you to fight for point, so I’m not complaining,” he shoulders Mush conspiratorially and he laughs. Dr. De La Guerra steps up behind them, pulling on his own pair of gloves and Mush stifles a laugh, coughing into his elbow. Henry elbows him sharply and Mush shoves him back,

“Knock it off,” Dr. De La Guerra says and Henry glares at Mush, who shrugs. Dr. Cortes walks up and De La Guerra glares at him,

“What are you doing out here? This isn’t pediatric, the patient’s twenty,” Cortes ignores him, turning to Mush,

“Meyers, we need you upstairs, you’ve been switched to my service today,”

“What? No he hasn’t,” Henry interjects and Cortes raises an eyebrow,

“Is he? I don’t remember _asking_ you, or have you suddenly been given the power to assign services-”

“Don’t speak to my interns like that,” De La Guerra bites,

“He isn’t  _ your  _ intern, and Meyers is with  _ me  _ today,” 

“Meyers is right here,” Mush says, raising a hand,

“What’s going on?” he asks and Cortes looks at him,

“You aren’t allowed to work this trauma coming in. Hospital policy,” he says and Henry and Mush look at each other,

“Hospital policy doesn’t say anything about not being able to work on anyone except...” Henry says quietly, trailing off and De La Guerra shifts, almost imperceptibly, brushing his knuckles across his arm. Mush looks at Cortes, then Henry,

“Except what?” 

“Max, come on,” Henry says, pushing him towards the door as the ambulance pulls up,

“Go with Cortes,” he says and Mush shoves his hand away,

“ _ Except what? _ ” the doors open and Henry and De La Guerra step up to it, Henry still looking at Mush,

“Go with Cortes, Max,  _ please _ ,” he says,

“Twenty year old female, BP 80 over 50, pulse is thready and-” 

“Elmer? What’s going on?” they lock gazes and Elmer  _ never _ cries and there’s tears streaking down his face and his eyes are red and he can see Specs and Romeo behind Elmer and-

 

He almost doesn’t recognize her. There’s so much _blood_ , streaked across her face, all over her clothes, on Elmers’ hands, and this isn’t happening. _This isn’t happening this is just a dream this is just a weird flashback and someone’s saying something and-_

“Jesus, Max, take a breath,  _ Max _ ,” Cortes is still standing there and-

_ And he’s still standing there and he should move and he should have followed them in and he should have said something and he should have known and he should have- _

“Mush? Max what happened, what’s wrong?”

_ Andy.  _

Mush moves,  _ finally,  _ stumbling over to a trashcan and throwing up. And now he remembers, and it’s dumb, because he should have remembered sooner. 

_ Except family.  _

* * *

 

Specs and Romeo show up at Elmers’ door and he already knows something is wrong. Mostly because of the absence of Smalls and their faces. And honestly, he’s been waiting for something to happen since she pulled that stunt a few months ago, and never told them who hit her. So now, he figures, whatever he’s been waiting for is finally happening and it’s just time to face the music,

“What happened?” he asks quietly, once the door is shut and Specs looks at Romeo like he isn’t sure, and that makes sense too,

“She-” Specs doesn’t even get more than that one word out and Romeo picks it up,

“Someone showed up and they were yelling at each other, and she said someone  _ died _ ,”

“What was the persons name?” Elmer interjects and Romeo doesn’t say anything, just shrugs so Specs speaks up,

“I think, she called her- Ames?” 

Elmer wants to laugh, he wants to scream, he wants to deny it. He wants this to not be happening even though this is not the worst way this could have gone. He doesn’t want to be dealing with this, he doesn’t want to be having this conversation, he wants  _ out.  _ Instead he just runs his fingers through his hair and whispers,

“Ames,” Specs nods and Romeo asks,

“Who is she?”

“Amelia. Her name is Amelia,” he says and Specs interrupts,

“To Smalls. Who is she to Smalls?” 

_ Elmer wants out.  _

“She’s her sister. She’s-  _ was _ her best friend,” he says softly and both boys look shocked and he cannot blame them for that,

“It isn’t my story to tell, before you ask,” he adds, but neither of them look to be speaking anytime soon. And that’s okay too. She’d known that this conversation would need to be had, eventually. It had been foolish to hide it from them for so long. But she had been so convinced, so  _ sure  _ that she’d gotten away. For just one moment, there had been no consequences. And then it had all come crashing down. 

Romeo looks like he might pass out and Specs looks like he might throw up and there is nothing Elmer can do. He can’t do anything to soften this. This is  _ big.  _ Amelia was a big part of Smalls’ life until she wasn’t, and it took almost three years before Elmer really saw her be  _ herself  _ again and now all that might be gone. And now everything that Mush and Blink and Elmer have worked so hard to create and everything that Smalls has gone through, is gone. Because Amelia has come back.

“How did we not know? Why didn’t she tell us?” Romeo whispers and Elmer can’t really answer that, but he has to try,

“She didn’t know how to. Amelia- Amelia broke her. Smalls left, and she needed to, and that was the right thing to do, but it  _ broke her _ . She lost  _ everything  _ and  _ everyone _ in one night, except me and Max and we don’t really count for much, not when she lost Amelia. She lost her twin and she lost her best friend and how do you talk about being broken with the people who weren’t there to see it-” 

Someone knocks on the door and all three of them stand up and rush for it even though Smalls wouldn’t knock and even though Smalls has a key and even though it doesn’t make any sense, no one else could be on the other side of the door. Because everything is falling apart on this day, because the universe has picked today for everything to fall apart. It used to be December twenty-first but now apparently it is June second because Smalls is leaning heavily on the doorframe and she’s covered in bruises but they almost can’t see them through all the blood and she tries for a smile and takes half a step forward before she’s falling and Elmer catches her, pulling her inside and Romeo shuts the door. Everything is quiet for a moment and then Elmer remembers that this is really, actually happening. 

“Romeo, call nine-one-one. Specs, go into my room, bottom shelf of the closet, black bag, go get it,” he is strangely calm, doesn’t let himself freak out at all and somehow, Romeo and Specs are some semblance of calm as well. Specs puts the bag down and Elmer yanks gloves out and slips them on and tosses a pair at Specs. He catches them and meets Elmers eyes,

“I could use an extra set of hands, can you handle this?” he asks and Specs nods, pulling the gloves on shaky hands. 

And they keep her breathing and they keep as much blood on the inside as they can, and they do their best to keep her heart beating until the ambulance comes and then they hand her off to the EMTs and then they get to the hospital and of course it’s Lower Manhattan, and of course it’s Mush who’s there and he’s pale as a ghost and they hand her off to Dr. De La Guerra and Henry and Mush tries to follow them but Dr. Cortes is there too, and he grabs him and holds on and holds him back and he’s crying and he’s fighting and he’s trying to get out of Cortes’ grip but he isn’t there, he’s stuck somewhere in his head, remembering. 

Elmer runs. He bolts before anyone can grab him, before anyone can hold him back and he runs. He runs until he finds Blink and then they both run and Mush is still there and Cortes is still holding onto him but now it looks more like he’s holding him up, not back. Romeo and Specs are somewhere else now, but now that Blink is here, Mush is back and Mush is throwing up and Smalls might be  _ dead.  _ Cortes stumbles back, because he  _ knew  _ because he’d gotten a call from a kid called Nicolas who said to get Max Meyers out of trauma because his friend Emma was hurt and he can’t work on family and Cortes had asked who he was, to Smalls, and Nicolas had said that he was calling for Elmer, who couldn’t call because his hands were keeping Emma alive and Cortes had almost dropped the phone. Because he  _ knows _ her and the way he’d said that, 

“His hands are keeping her alive,” had made it sound like she’d been halfway to dead, and now he knew because now he had seen, that she  _ was.  _ He’d been fine as long as he had a job to do, and Max is not his favorite intern, but Smalls is his favorite nurse and now everything is broken. And really, Cortes knows that Nicolas didn’t have a point to calling to keep Max off the case. Because everyone in this goddamn hospital is enough of her family to not treat her. 

 

Romeo had run too and Specs had run after him, but eventually, he’d ended up sitting at the bottom of a stairwell, staring between his shoes and trying to think about anything other than Smalls. 

“Hey, are you okay?” someone asks him, real worry tinting their voice. He doesn’t look up. He doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t have anything left to say,

“Jesus, that’s a lot of blood, are you-”

“It’s not mine,” he says quietly,

“It’s my girlfriends.”

 

Romeo ends up in a supply closet. Or a something closet. It’s dark, and quiet, and that’s what matters right now. He sits, back to the metal shelves and wishes he were anywhere else, wishes that he was anyone else, that anything else was happening right now.

 

Itey hears about Smalls and he doesn’t really believe it. He heard that she had come in with Elmer in the back of an ambulance and that Henry and Jojo were operating and he hadn’t believed it. So he’d run around to all of the operating rooms until he’d walked into an OR where everything was clearly falling apart. The patient was bleeding out and the heart monitor was showing v-fib and Henry didn’t even seem to notice the tears tracking down his face as he worked with De La Guerra and Itey had backed out before they could notice him because this is really happening and he doesn’t want to watch his friend die, so he runs. Back up to the pediatric ward, to the supply closet that he and Smalls used to sit in to talk about boys and crushes. But someone else is already there, and Itey recognizes him, so he stays. Sits next to the boy on the floor,

“Nicolas, right?” he asks and he looks up and he’s not crying but everyone is crying today and Itey knows that  _ this kid,  _ deserves to cry. He still has what Itey assumes is Smalls’ blood on his hands and Nicolas Ramirez and Jordan DeMarcos are the only ones who should be allowed to cry today. But Nicolas Ramirez’s eyes are dry. He just looks  _ lost.  _ He leans up against Itey and drops his head on his shoulder and just stares at the door of the closet. Itey hesitantly brings a hand up and runs it through his hair gently. He leans into the touch for a moment and Itey pauses, looking down at him,

“Are you okay?” he asks softly and Nicolas laughs dryly,

“No,” he says,

“That’s not-” Itey stops,

“You have a fever, did you know?” he asks and Nicolas sighs,

“I  _ always  _ have a fever,” he says tiredly and Itey shifts again, tilting his head up to look at his face. Even in the dark he can tell his pupils are blown wide and his cheeks are flushed and it looks like the flu, but it’s  _ June, _

“Can I-”

“No,” he cuts him off and Itey goes back to running his fingers through his hair softly, waiting a few beats before speaking again,

“I don’t need to admit you, just let me give you an IV,  _ please _ ,” he requests and Nicolas doesn’t say anything. Itey lets him think, and then he nods, almost imperceptibly,

“Thank you. I’ll be right back, okay?” he says, standing and shutting the door behind him and leaning up against it for a moment. He comes back to the closet after a few minutes, opening the door slowly and shutting it behind him. Nicolas looks like he could be sleeping, leaning up against the shelf with his eyes closed,

“Nicolas?”

“Don’t call me that, only my parents call me that. Nico or Romeo, not Nicolas,” he says without opening his eyes and Itey sits back next to him, pulling his sleeve up,

“Ok Romeo, this is gonna be cold,” he says, swiping antiseptic across his arm and he shifts,

“Still okay?” Itey asks and Romeo nods,

“This will sting a bit,” he warns and Romeo sucks a breath in through his teeth as Itey inserts the IV,

“Doing okay?” he asks, sitting next to him again. Romeo leans back up against him and nods, yawning,

“This doesn’t feel real,” he says quietly,

“I feel like I’m going to wake up tomorrow and Jordan will be getting ready for rehearsal and Smalls will still be sleeping and I’ll wake her up ‘cause she has to work soon and Jordan will make enough eggs for all of us before he leaves and Smalls will drink all the coffee and I’ll take the subway into class and Smalls will go to work and-” his voice cracks and he stops talking for a moment,

“But instead I’m here, in a closet, and I don’t even know where either of them are,” and this time when he speaks, his voice is thick with tears and Itey wraps an arm around his shoulders, pulling him against his chest,

“I can’t let you see her, but do you want to try to find Jordan?” he asks softly and Romeo nods. Itey stands up and offers a hand to Romeo, who takes it and lets him pull him to his feet. He stumbles forward a bit and Itey slips an arm under his shoulders,

“I can walk just fine,” he protests and Itey just looks down at him,

“I believe you,” he says, but doesn’t take his support away and Romeo leans on him after a few seconds and Itey reaches forward, opening the door and Romeo uses his other hand to pull along the IV drip on its little metal rack and they make their way down the hallway. Itey doesn’t really know where he’s going, or where Jordan would be, so he’s looking for Mike, because he needs help and he needs his boyfriend. They wander around for a bit until Romeo sees the door to a stairwell and points it out, shouldering through the door and there’s Mike, sitting next to Jordan, talking softly. They both look up when Itey and Romeo come through the door and Jordan stands. Itey steps away from Romeo and Jordan takes his place, hugging him tightly and Romeo breathes in shakily, burying his face in Jordans shoulder and he just tangles his fingers through his hair and holds onto him. Itey steps around and slides down the wall to sit next to Mike. Mike turns to look at him and Itey is wiping tears out of his eyes and Mike just kisses him softly and intertwines their fingers. Itey rests his head on Mikes shoulder and they both watch Romeo and Jordan hold on to each other and Jordan is saying something to him, softly and then Itey realizes that he’s singing.

It occurs to him then that he and Mike shouldn’t be watching this, that these two boys might very well have lost someone important to them and he can’t even begin to imagine loss like that. Not knowing whether you’re mourning or not. He should find out if she made it. For them. Only he really doesn’t want to leave Romeo, who still doesn’t look like he could stay standing if Jordan let go and he  _ really  _ should be admitted,

“We should find out,” Mike says quietly,

“Yeah, we should,” Itey says, making no move to stand. Mike finally gets up, pulling Itey up with him and reaches out, resting a hand on Jordans shoulder. He looks at them questioningly,

“Me and Itey are going to see if there’s an update on her, if you guys want, we can set you up in a room so we can find you once we find out what’s going on,” before he even finishes the sentence, Jordan is nodding and Romeo just mumbles something vaguely affirmative. Mike and Itey find them an unoccupied room and tell them to stay there, and that they’ll be back once they find out what’s going on. Specs toes off his shoes and sits on one of the beds. Romeo sits next to him and he lays down, pulling the shorter boy against his chest. Romeo relaxes into him and Specs kisses the top of his head,

“Hey, what is this about?” he asks, tapping the needle taped Romeo's hand. He laughs softly,

“The guy that was with me, he insisted that I needed an IV, so…” he trails off, yawning,

“Go to sleep love, I’ll wake you if there’s any news,” Jordan says, resting his hand on his waist and rubbing his hip with his thumb gently. He starts humming again and Romeo is almost asleep when someone knocks on the door softly,

“Yeah?” Specs calls and Itey opens the door,

“I-” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dont be too mad pls


	18. The Introspection of Elmer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> uhh all the regular trigger warnings still apply. also just heads up, this and the last chapter are p disjointed and that's on purpose, to represent the disjointed thoughts of the characters, it will get more coherent after everything settles down.

_ Chat with ElmStreet _

**_ElmStreet:_ ** need you

**_ShutUpAlbert:_** wow, a booty call at two in the afternoon? im impressed kasprzak 

**_ShutUpAlbert:_** didn't think u had it in u

 ** _ElmStreet:_** not a booty call

**_ElmStreet:_ ** hospital, come in the front door you should see me

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** wait what?

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** i thought you weren’t working today?

**_ElmStreet:_ ** not working

**_ElmStreet:_ ** please, al i need you here

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** im on my way

 

Albert runs the entire way to the waiting room of Lower Manhattan Hospital. Elmer is sitting, fingers wound tightly through his hair, elbows resting on knees. Mush and Blink are there as well, sitting in the uncomfortable waiting room chairs that they’ve probably never had to sit in before. Elmer talks about how much he hates the waiting room sometimes. He rarely has to talk to families, usually that’s reserved for the surgeons, but he says that everyone in the waiting room is always sad and anxious, so the very room and the chairs have absorbed all the extra worry and fear and press it onto everyone who walks in. Albert has always thought he was exaggerating. No one room can impact someone’s mood that much, right? Maybe it’s just because he knows Elmer and Mush and Blink, or because he still doesn't know what’s wrong, but Albert can feel it. The trepidation. 

Albert kneels in front of him, cupping his chin with one hand and brushing his fingertips along his arm. Elmer finally looks up and Albert realizes that he hasn’t ever actually seen Elmer cry before this moment, right now. He’s seen him on days when his dysphoria hits him so hard he can’t breathe. He’s seen him on days when nothing is going right and he sees too much death, and he can’t do anything to stop it. He’s seen him angry, at himself for not saving someone. He’s seen him angry, at himself for things like slamming a door open and scaring Smalls. Worried because she won’t talk to him and he can’t make her. Angry at someone else for making a bad call. But he has never seen him cry. 

“Hey” he says, signing with one hand, using his other hand to gently pull Elmers fingers out of his hair. Elmer looks at him blankly for a second and Albert is suddenly reminded of something else. Someone else.

_ Smalls got that look sometimes. The blank, not really there look. Elmer would always say she was remembering. What, he never said. Just remembering.  _

“Elmer?” he asks, brushing his fingers lightly across his forehead, pushing his hair out of his face,

“What’s going on?” Elmer still doesn’t respond and Albert cards his fingers through hair, standing and turning to Blink and Mush. Mush has his head in Blinks lap and the same empty look on his face, eyes glassy and unfocused. Blink looks up at him, fingers pausing in Mushs hair. Albert has absolutely no idea if Blink knows any sign language but he might as well try,

“What’s going on?” he asks but Blink just shakes his head, mouthing, “Sorry.” 

Albert looks, but he doesn’t see Smalls anywhere, which is strange since El, Mush, and Blink are here. 

“Where’s Smalls?” he signs, not really to anyone. Just a general expression of confusion because  _ what the hell is happening _ . Mush shifts, looking up at him,

“She’s gone,” he signs shakily and  _ he must have said it wrong _ .

“What?”

“Smalls. She’s gone,” he signs, fingerspelling every word slowly, and Albert's heart drops. He turns back to Elmer, but he’s still just staring at the ground. 

_ Right,  _ Albert thinks,  _ This isn’t working _ . 

He pulls out his phone, texting the only other person he can think of that knows sign language.

 

_ Chat with  _ **_Nyoom_ **

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** race are you busy rn

**_Nyoom:_ ** nah man whats up

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** can u come to lower manhattan hospital?

**_Nyoom:_ ** shit yeah, are you ok?

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** yeah im fine i just cant figure out whats going on

**_Nyoom:_ ** elmer or smalls there?

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** elmer is. i have no idea where smalls is

**_Nyoom:_ ** is he ok?

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** can u just hurry up

 

Albert shoves his phone back in his pocket, carding his fingers through Elmers hair as he kneels down in front of him again. He leans forward, resting his forehead against Elmers and trying to meet his gaze. Elmer’s eyes stay unfocused though, and Albert doesn’t really know what to do. Elmer is the one who knows how to deal with this kind of thing. 

* * *

 

_ There hadn’t been that much blood last time. Last time Elmer picked Emma up off the floor and took her to the hospital. He really hates Matthew. Matthew did this. Didn’t he? Maybe not. Emma had been known to pick fights when she was upset or angry or frustrated. Maybe she’d picked a fight that hadn’t ended in her favor. But no, that doesn’t make sense either. Emma was incredibly good at reading people, a habit picked up from reading her brother and father and anticipating whatever was coming. She never picked a fight with someone she couldn’t handle. So what had happened? Matt. Had to be. Or maybe something completely unrelated. Maybe she’d been mugged. Last time it had been Matt. Last time there hadn’t been as much blood. Then again, partial strangulation isn’t very bloody. Stab and slash wounds are. Elmer can’t really believe he fucking stabbed her. Assuming it was Matt. Assuming it was Matt who stabbed her and hit her and left her to walk all the way to their apartment from wherever she’d figured out he was. It makes a lot of sense. It must have been Matthew. Had to be. Elmer should probably stop thinking about it and start doing something about it. Not that he can do anything. Even if he could, he knows he isn’t in any condition to actually help. He’s pretty useless right now, just sitting here tugging on his hair. Emma used to tug on her hair. Whenever she was nervous she’d grab onto the ends of her hair and pull on it. Amelia had given her shit about it, made fun of her relentlessly. She’d told Elmer she made fun of her because Emma tugging on her hair alerted Matt to her anxiousness, which he’d exploit. Elmer had been trying to yell at her about it, until she’d yelled right back that she was just trying to protect Emma. Amelia and Emma’s relationship was rocky, at best. Ames always put Emma’s safety in front of hers, which pissed Emma off to no end. But they’d always had each other's back, no matter what. Until Emma had left. Then everything had really, truly, fallen apart. But then they’d slowly put themselves and each other, together again. Without Amelia. And, more importantly, without Matthew.  _


	19. The Beginning of the End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I??? can't believe this is almost over. Dr. Jojo De La Guerra. Dr. Henry Sippel. Dr. Chaz Wolcott (Buttons). for reference. also romeo having the flu seems minor but trust me. its gonna come up later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> theres like four sentences of descriptions of injuries that u can highkey skip if need be. Also let it be Known i did minimum research for this dont yell @ me

Smalls is in the ICU for two weeks. 

 

Romeo, it turns out, does have the flu, and spends a day in the little room with Specs, and Mike and Itey alternately checking up on them. 

 

Spot and Race make sure Mush and Blink get back to their apartment safely. They sit on their couch awkwardly, trying to make sense of the mess together while Mush and Blink sleep restlessly in the next room. 

 

Albert takes Elmer home and holds him while he cries himself to sleep. It’s only after Elmer falls asleep that Albert lets himself fall apart. 

 

Nothing is good anymore. And no one is okay. 

 

* * *

 

After two days, Specs and Romeo are allowed to see her. That’s what they say. “You can see her now.” Romeo and Specs hate it. It doesn’t help that none of the doctors can look them in the eye. Dr. Wolcott, a surgical intern, looks right past them at the wall while he’s talking. Dr. Sippel, another intern who is apparently a friend of Mush, doesn’t ever really seem to focus on anything. Dr. De La Guerra seems like he’s looking through them for most of the time he’s speaking. Itey sits in the corner and listens, and after the doctors leave, explains what everything means. He says it’s sort of strange, all the almost-injuries. The _ almost _ -severed deltoid muscle from the deeper stab wounds on her shoulders. The hit that  _ almost _ lacerated her liver beyond repair. The cracked ribs that  _ almost _ punctured her lung. She was lucky, apparently. Not that everything was an _ almost _ . Her nose was broken, and her right wrist was shattered. She had a concussion and a collapsed lung. And the massive blood loss. 

 

Itey fights with Jojo to let them sleep in her room that night. Romeo falls asleep to the ventilator whirring and clicking. Specs doesn’t really sleep. He doesn’t want to admit that he’s scared. Scared that if he falls asleep, she’ll be dead when he wakes up. Specs isn’t stupid, he knows it’s a possibility. And while he appreciates Itey getting them this, if that’s the outcome, he doesn’t want it. Smalls had talked to them about a few of her coworkers, and Specs recognizes Itey from that, as well as the picture sent in the groupchat of the “cute model Brendon”. So he knows that Itey is just dealing with  _ this _ however he needs to, which is apparently by taking care of Specs and Romeo. He does not, however, recognize the three doctors. At first. Then, when they are leaving, Dr. De La Guerra hold the door open for both of them and brushes his fingers across Wolcott’s back and Sippel walks just a bit  _ too  _ close. And then Itey calls De La Guerra Jojo, and Specs almost laughs. Because of course, they must be Henry, Jojo, and Buttons. The two interns and one attending known for all liking each other, never doing anything about it, and never being subtle. Most of the staff has a running bet on how long it will take them to start dating. Specs and Romeo hadn’t recognized them though. Mostly because they are so much more subdued than Smalls described them as. Much quieter. No laughter. Specs supposes that’s just how they’re dealing with this. He hopes they get their shit together. 

You never know what you have until it’s gone. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote this while watching crash course bloopers. also this should be the last one of the shorter chapters until the end


	20. Forget

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> each line break is passage of time, like a few hours. One more chapter after this and then maybe a short epilogue

New messages in Chat _ : Who runs The World? _

**_JackyBoi:_ ** yo where is everyone

**_UrNotMyDad:_ ** truth i havent seen romeo, specs, spot, race, albert, or like. anyone lately

**_DavidJacobs:_ ** Ah. I figured someone would have told you. 

**_CrutchPotato:_ ** wait what

**_JackyBoi:_ ** are they ok??

**_JackyBoi:_ ** im failing at my duty as dad????

**_Patches:_ ** smalls is in the ICU

**_CrutchPotato:_ ** holy shit

**_UrNotMyDad:_ ** what happened????

**_ElmStreet:_ ** she got in a fight

 

Chat:  _ Discontinued _

**_Patches:_ ** thats a fucking lie, they deserve the truth

**_ElmStreet:_ ** you know damn well she wouldnt want any of this getting out

**_MushedUp:_ ** yeah well if she didn't want any of it getting out she shouldnt have done it

**_ElmStreet:_ ** fuck you, we have no idea if its her fault

**_Patches:_ ** el shes been backsliding for months, you know that

**_ElmStreet:_ ** don't say it like its my fault

**_MushedUp:_ ** he didn't mean it like that and you know it

**_ElmStreet:_ ** fuck you andrew

**_ElmStreet_ ** _ has left the chat _

 

Chat:  _ Who runs The World? _

**_JackyBoi:_ ** YOU CANT SAY THAT AND THEN STOP RESPONDING

**_ElmStreet_ ** _ has left the chat _

**_JackyBoi:_ ** WHAT IS HAPPENING

**_DavidJacobs:_ ** All I know is that I ran into Elmer the other day at the hospital and apparently Smalls has been in the hospital for a few days. He wouldn’t tell me why.

**_Patches:_ ** because hes fucking refuses to take responsibility for shit

**_MushedUp:_ ** blink keep it in the private chat

**_UrNotMyDad:_ ** blink tell us wtf is going on

**_CrutchPotato:_ ** can we see her?

**_ShutUpAlbert:_ ** no

**_JackyBoi:_ ** why? shes going to be okay right??

**_BrooklynFTW:_ ** oooook heres what we know. smalls was in a bad knife fight and ended up in the hospital. shes in a medically induced coma to let her body heal or something and they havent taken her off of sedation yet. elmer called albert and on his way to the hospital he almost got hit by a fucking taxi but me and race got him and went with him to the hospital. that was about a week ago

**_UrNotMyDad:_ ** this is like a prank right

**_UrNotMyDad:_ ** no one actually gets in knife fights right

**_UrNotMyDad:_ ** right???

**_JackyBoi:_ ** if anyone in our friend group was going to get in a knife fight i would have said it would be spot

**_CrutchPotato:_ ** not the time jack

**_UrNotMyDad:_ ** wait davey why are you back at the hospital

**_DavidJacobs:_ ** Not the time, Katherine.

 

_ Chat with  _ **_DavidJacobs_ **

**_UrNotMyDad:_ ** david leonardo jacobs now is most certainly the time

**_DavidJacobs:_ ** It really isn’t

**_UrNotMyDad:_ ** _ david _

**_DavidJacobs:_ ** _ Katherine _

**_UrNotMyDad:_ ** for fucks sake

 

* * *

 

 

“Did you see the groupchat?” Specs asks quietly, tossing his phone aside and wrapping his arms back around Romeo,

“Yeah.” Romeo shifts, turning to face Specs and pushing his face into his chest. Specs runs his fingers through his hair gently and lets his eyes slip shut.

 

“I miss her.” 

 

He almost misses Romeo’s words, spoken softly into his shirt, fingers tangled in the hem. Almost, but not quite.

“I know. Me too,” he says and Romeo takes a shuddery breath,

“What if she doesn’t wake up?” 

“She will,” 

“It’s been a week Jordan,”

“She  _ will _ ,”

“But-”

“ _She_ _will_. She’s tough; you know that.”

Romeo is quiet for a moment and Specs traces his fingers over his chest and arms lightly. Romeo's phone alarm goes off and he rolls over, shutting it off and standing. Specs gets up as well, and they go through the motions of getting ready together.  

 

* * *

 

 

Visiting hours start at nine and Itey sits on a spare cot in the hallway, idly flipping through a chart with one hand. The other hand is buried in Mike’s hair, thumb stroking along his brow bone. Mike, finally having a spare moment between patients, is sound asleep, curled into a tight ball with his head in Itey’s lap. Quiet moments are rare, especially working in a hospital, and they don’t get to spend much time together, but after two years they’ve figured it out. Mike always sleeps whenever he has a spare moment, whether it be fifteen minutes or a few hours. Itey prefers to catch up on his work and only sleep at night. He’d tried to pull off the weird sleeping hours with Mike for a while, until Mike found him frantically scrawling illegible words down on a page at their kitchen table at three in the morning because he couldn’t fall asleep. So whenever they have a moment together, Mike sleeps, and Itey plays with his hair or does whatever. Over the years they’ve learned how to just be together. How to just exist in the same space and enjoy it. 

 

Itey looks up and chews on the end of his pen, thinking. The room across the hall from where he’s sitting happens to be Smalls’, by absolutely no coincidence at all. He watches the slow cadence of her breathing and flicks his eyes across the monitors, checking for irregularities or issues. Seeing none, he looks back down at the chart in his hands, but he can’t focus. Because today’s the day. Today’s the day she wakes up. 

 

Theoretically. Jojo and Buttons are taking her back into surgery to fix up the patch job Henry and Jojo had done when she’d first come in now that she’s stable enough. After that’s done, the plan is to just let the anesthesia from the surgery wear off and see if she regains consciousness on her own. None of them want to admit it, but this is the turning point. If she doesn’t show signs of responsiveness today or tomorrow, there might not be anything else they can do. She’ll be fine though. She has to be. Putting aside the fact that no one really knows what exactly happened, she’s been recovering quickly, as far as any tests can show. Actually, now that he thinks of it, Elmer, Mush, and Blink know what happened but none of them are offering anything in the way of explanations and no one has wanted to press them for answers lately. Everyone that knows Smalls knows, to a certain degree, that she- that her background wasn’t the best. Elmer and her had always been as thick as thieves and Mush and Blink had rounded out their small group. To be completely honest, she’d only really started talking to anyone besides them in the past six months or so. Itey had come to appreciate her quick wit, attention to detail, and easy-going nature. Both of them working in pediatrics had meant they’d spent countless hours together in the hospital, and knew each other pretty well. Not perfectly, and they didn’t know everything, but she knew about Mike and his family, and he knew-. What exactly? Not much, now that he thinks about it. Not to slam doors. That she and Elmer grew up together, but weren’t related. That was disconcerting. He’d thought they had been good friends, but what did he really know about her? Not much. Not much at all. He frowns and fingertips brush against his lips gently.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Mike asks softly and Itey looks back down at him,

“Just thinking,” he says and Mike fills in the gaps,

“Worrying, more like.” 

Itey pulls his fingers out of Mike’s hair and nudges his shoulder. Mike sits up and looks at his watch before pulling his hair back and tying it up with an elastic from his wrist. Itey makes a small noise of protest and Mike bumps his shoulder lightly,

“You know I can’t have it down at work, it’s in the way. And unsanitary,” he says and Itey kisses him, quick and easy,

“But it looks so pretty down,” he complains and Mike laughs. They both fall silent though, as Buttons and Jojo turn the corner, talking quietly to Romeo and Specs. Itey and Mike follow the group into the room, a sort of sad procession, and Jojo asks for the all clear. Romeo and Specs look at each other for a moment, then back at Jojo and Specs nods,

“Bring her back, okay?” Romeo says softly and Buttons nods. Jojo doesn't say anything, and they all know no one can  _ really  _ promise anything. Shouldn’t guarantee an outcome, no matter what. But they also know everyone in that room will fight like hell to keep her there, and that she probably has the best shot out of anyone in that hospital. Or maybe that’s just wishful thinking. 

 

* * *

 

 

“I still don’t think this is a good idea, Jack,” Davey says from the back seat and Katherine, sitting next to him, pushes him lightly,

“No one will tell us what’s going on, and we deserve to know. She’s our friend too,” she says. Davey opens his mouth again and Jack cuts him off,

“We’re doing it Davey. End of discussion,” he says, meeting his eyes in the rearview mirror. 

“You don’t have to go in, you know. We’ll let you know, whatever’s going on,” Race says softly and Davey lets out a breath, dropping his head back onto the seat,

“Yeah, I know,” he says. Spot laces his fingers with Race’s and thinks. 

Jack had been freaking out all morning about Smalls and a part of Spot knows that he should have felt guilty for not telling him sooner. But a bigger part knew that Jack was going to do exactly this whenever he found out, and Spot and Race had bought Smalls as much time as they could. The problem with Jackson Kelly is that he doesn’t think. He’s a leader and everyone follows him naturally, but he is too impulsive and Spot knows that drags him down. If he could just learn to stop for a second and  _ think _ . Think about Specs and Romeo and how busting into the hospital probably isn’t a good idea. Think about Elmer and how none of them really know what happened. Think about  _ why  _ none of them know. Spot thinks he might know. Spot knows what it looks like when your past comes back like dirty water stuck in the tide. It looks like hiding things from your friends. It looks like picking fights just to feel  _ something _ . It looks like nothing to most people. But Spot Conlon is not most people. Spot thinks he knows. 

 

Spot knows

* * *

 

“It’s going to be rough for awhile most likely, and we have no idea what kind of permanent damage was done at this point. Memories could be gone, basic things forgotten, things like that,” Jojo says, leaning on the doorframe and looking over the monitors again. Romeo nods shortly and Specs takes a shuddery breath,

“Thank you,” he says softly and now its Jojo nodding. He waits a beat then says,

“Let us know if she wakes up or if you need anything,” he says and then turns and walks out the door. Buttons follows him and Henry is standing outside the door too, biting his lip the way he always does when he wants to know something but doesn’t want to ask and-  _ fuck this _ .  _ fuck waiting, and doubting, and pretending they can’t see what’s right in front of them.  _

Jojo grabs one of each of their hands and drags them into the nearest on call room, slamming the door shut behind them.

 

* * *

 

_ … hurts. Really, really hurts. Too much to process.  _ wake up.  _ Too much. Too much, hurts, fuck, hurts so much hurts to breathe hurts to exist. Hurts.  _ wake up.  _ Hurt people, hurt jordan nico elmer albert max andy amelia.  _ wake up.  _ Amelia… Matt.  _ wake up.  _ Wake up. Have to wake up not safe still there still Matt have to get out get up wake up wakeupwakeupwakeup.  _

 

wake up. 

  
Smalls gasps in a breath, eyes flying open, trying to sit up but it  _ hurts too much _ and the air rattles out in coughs and  _ wake up wake up get away have to get away run away Matt _ . Someone is yelling and she flinches away but it  _ hurts too much _ and-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> go ahead. yell @ me. u know u want to


	21. Remember

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> so this is it. there will be a short epilogue after this, set sometime earlier in the fic and then thats it

 

Specs ends up falling asleep in the tiny hospital bed, curled around Smalls with an arm over her shoulder, avoiding the cast on her wrist and the stitches around her shoulders and stomach. Romeo falls asleep sitting in the chair he pulled up to her bedside, holding onto her left hand, head pillowed on her leg. Elmer, having just walked in, smiles for the first time in  _ weeks _ . Because she’s going to be okay. Everything is going to be okay, in ti- Smalls’ eyes fly open and Elmer startles, lurching forward even as she struggles to breathe, coughing and trying to sit up,

“N-no, jesus Em, calm down!” Specs wakes suddenly, sliding off the edge of the bed and hitting the floor hard. Elmer pushes Smalls back, trying to hold her down,

“Smalls stop it, listen to me!” She looks at him and there isn’t any recognition in her eyes, just fear, and Elmer knows that they are well and truly  _ fucked,  _

_ “Matt?”  _ she chokes out and Elmer freezes.  _ She can’t think- I’m not- She knows- _

_ “Stop it,  _ don’t  _ please, _ ” she still isn’t breathing right and Elmer needs to  _ help  _ but he can’t if she thinks-

_ “ _ Itey! Henry, Mush, Jo- Fuck!” Her left arm slips out of his grasp and she takes advantage, punching him in the jaw. It isn’t very hard, but he wasn’t expecting it and he goes down, just as Itey bolts into the room, Buttons and Jojo close behind. Buttons, for some reason, doesn’t have shoes on and skids into the end of the bed. Itey pushes Smalls back into the bed, reaching back and grabbing the oxygen mask from where it hangs on the wall,

“Hey, hey! It’s okay, just breathe, you’re okay,” Itey says as Jojo yells down the hall for Diazepam and Buttons scrambles to his feet running over to help Itey.

“What the hell happened?” he asks and Itey just shakes his head,

“What’s going on? What’s happened?” Specs asks and everyone else in the room simultaneously notices that Specs and Romeo are still there. 

“Elmer, get them out of here!” Jojo calls, and Elmer stumbles off the ground, grabbing Specs and Romeo and dragging them unceremoniously out the door. Specs struggles, pushing Elmer away, and Romeo, still half asleep, trips. Elmer curses, dropping Specs’ arm to keep Romeo from falling and Specs bolts.

He curses again, and Romeo leans up against his shoulder, frowning slightly,

“Wha’s happen’d?” he asks, words slurring together and Elmer looks down at him-

“Jesus, Jordan, calm down!” Itey pulls Specs back out of the room,

“No! I need t-” he starts, trying to pull himself out of Itey’s hands,

“Somebody get Mike, he’s in trauma somewhere please!” Itey yells in the general direction of the nurses station, struggling to pull Specs farther down the hallway. 

“Let me go! Please, stop, let me go, I need to help, I have to-” Specs pleads and Itey gasps in a breath, trying not to cry,

“I’m sorry, I’m  _ so  _ sorry,” he says and Skittery skids around the corner, Mike close behind,

“What’s wro-  _ Jesus,  _ what happened?” he asks, and Itey just shakes his head, pushing Specs towards him,

“Just- I’ll be right back,” Itey runs back down the hall, slipping his arm under Romeo’s shoulders on the opposite side of Elmer,

“I got him, I got him, go,” he says and Elmer looks at him, hesitating. Itey pushes him with his free hand,

“ _ Go _ !” 

So he does.

* * *

 

 

Once Smalls finally calms down, Jojo sits in the chair left next to her bed. She just blinks at him for a moment, before asking,

“Where am I?” Jojo leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees,

“Lower Manhattan Hospital. You were in a bad accident, but you’re doing much better now. Can you tell me what the last thing you remember was before you woke up here?”

“I don’t-” she bites her lip, “There isn’t anything there, it’s just… empty,” She moves to push her hair back, but stops short, looking at the cast on her wrist,

“ _ Jesus,  _ what happened?” she asks and Jojo waits a second before answering,

“Well, like I said, you were in an accident, but you’re going to be okay,” he says and she frowns up at him,

“Right, sorry, you had already said that,” she looks uneasy and Jojo is quick to reassure her,

“That’s fine. Memory issues are totally normal, don’t worry about it,” he says passively, picking up her chart even though he’s practically got it memorized at this point. Smalls doesn’t say anything else and after a beat he looks up, and her head is tipped forward, chin to chest,

“Smalls?” he tilts her chin up, feeling for a pulse even though the heart monitor is still going steady. Her eyes flutter open and she looks back up at him, confusion coloring her features and a sinking feeling spreads through him like ice water. 

“Where- Where am I?” she asks and he sits on the edge of her bed by her feet,

“Lower Manhattan Hospital. You were in an accident, but you’re going to be okay. Do you remember anything?” he asks and she looks at him for a moment before shaking her head slowly,

“No I- I’m sorry, I don’t-”

Someone knocks on the door and Smalls cuts herself off, eyes snapping open. Jojo looks at her, then to the door,

“Yeah?” he calls and the door opens to a girl on the other side, maybe 20. 

“I’m sorry, I think you have the wro-” Jojo starts, but Smalls cuts him off,

“Ames! What are you doing here?” The girl frowns, and looks between Jojo and Smalls,

“Elmer texted me this morning. Holy shit Emma, what happened?” 

“Since when do you have a phone? And who?” Smalls asks incredulously and Ames only looks more confused,

“Since four years ago Em, what-”

“Can I speak to you in the hallway, Ms…” Jojo starts,

“Beacon,” Ames says and Jojo’s eyebrows pull together,

“Ms. Beacon,” he acquiesces, holding the door open for her to walk through. 

 

Once they get out the door, he turns to face her,

“So who exactly are you?” he asks and she crosses her arms, 

“I’m Amelia Beacon. I’m her sister,” she says and he buries that down before he can get distracted because  _ what the fuck _ .

“Did you have something specific to share or request?” Jojo asks, trying to use his professional voice but he  _ really  _ doesn’t want to leave Smalls alone for too long and his annoyance is probably coming through. Amelia takes half a step back and Jojo remembers how skittish Smalls was for the first few months of working here, and backs off a bit,

“I’m sorry,” he says softly, “It’s been a long day,” he offers in way of explanation and she shakes her head,

“It’s fine. I’ll be in the waiting room, yeah? Just come get me,” she says and turns, walking back down the hallway. Jojo watches her walk down the hallway, debating going after her, but eventually, he just turns around and goes back into the room, figuring the best thing he can do for her is take care of her sister.

* * *

 

After he talks to Mush and Blink, Elmer heads back to the main waiting room. He knows, distantly, that he should find Specs and Romeo, but at the moment, he can’t bring himself to do anything except sit in this chair and look blankly at the wall. At least here he fits in. Fits in with all the other people sitting here with no idea whether their loved ones will make it to tomorrow.  _ Or,  _ he thinks, looking at his watch,  _ to later today _ . Someone drops into the chair next to him and pulls a small green ball out of their bag. Recognition slots into place in his fuzzy brain but doesn’t  _ really  _ click into place until they start bouncing the ball off the wall in front of them and catching it easily.

_ Amelia. _

He looks over at her, and the similarity between her and Smalls  _ hurts,  _ manifesting in a physical ache that makes him feel dizzy, like he can’t breathe right and she catches the ball, turning to look at him. She drops the ball.

“Elmer?” she signs, using the old name sign from when she and Smalls and him had spent every second together, learning to sign from old books in the library and their first grade teacher, the first one who had paid any attention to the fact that Amelia couldn’t hear things like the others, and that hurts too, but at the same time feels a little like something else slotting into place. They both stand and he waits for her to move, because if theres one thing he remembers from that time it’s to let Ames and Em make the first moves. But she moves, and then they’re hugging in the middle of the waiting room and she’s crying into his chest but it’s  _ okay,  _ because at least she’s okay and they’re all going to be okay and together, and that’s all they’ve ever needed. 

 

He ends up taking her to the same room Romeo and Specs are in. Romeo’s temperature had spiked again and so Itey and Mike had set them up in the same room as before and Elmer figured Specs could use the company, since Romeo was asleep. Besides, they have a lot to talk about. Elmer makes his way back to the main floor and slides behind the desk where Itey is.

“Do you know them?” Itey asks in lieu of a greeting, jerking his head towards a group of people walking in the door. Jack is at the head of the group and Elmer curses, walking over to them,

“You can’t be here right now,” he says, holding up a hand and Spot frowns,

“What’s going on?” Kath asks and Elmer just shakes his head,

“I’m not messing around, you guys should leave,” he says again and Race, Spot, and Davey are looking like they’re going to listen to him, but Jack doesn’t move. Elmer looks up into his face and crosses his arms,

“I don’t have anything to tell you, I’m still not entirely sure what’s going on, and it doesn’t make sense for all of you to sit around here when you have  _ lives, _ ” 

“Hey, she’s our friend too-” Kath starts but Elmer interrupts her,

“No, she’s not,” he says quietly, laughing humorlessly.

“What are you talking about?” Race asks, “We’ve-”

“Partied with her,” Elmer finishes, “And that’s about it,

You made the decision to bring her into your group and that’s great! But then you weren’t her friends. You were her party people. And I’m sure she enjoyed that perfectly well. But come on. I mean you guys call yourselves her friends? What’s her favorite color? What was her first tattoo? How many tattoos does she have? I mean, those are small things, whatever, small talk is hard in a group this big. How about bigger things? When’s her birthday? She’s twenty now, has been for awhile and I’m willing to bet that none of you knew that. How many siblings does she have? What’s her family like? Where did she go to school? What languages does she know? Does she like scary movies? How old was she when she had her first kiss? What kind of music does she like? I mean-” he pauses,

“I think before you try barging in and asking for information, you should figure out what the hell she means to you because I don’t think she needs ‘party people’ anymore.”

“Hey man,” Jack bites, “You can’t yell at us for trying to figure out what the hell is going on! We wouldn’t even be here if someone would have just talked to us. You’re just upset and taking it out on us because you know its your own damn fault. It isn’t only us that weren’t good friends, you’ve known her for longer and you should have seen it coming. Maybe we don’t know any of that, but you know who does? Blink said it himself, you refuse to take responsibility for anything. Maybe if you’d  _ told  _ us something we would have seen what you didn’t or pretended not to. We never even had a _ chance _ , but you? You had every goddamn chance in the book and you can’t convince us that what you didn’t do is our fault.” 

Everyone freezes. 

“ _ Jesus _ Jack,” Spot breathes and Elmer shuts his eyes. 

“Get out,” he says quietly, and Jack takes a step back. He opens his mouth, and Elmer’s eyes snap open, the steel in them unmistakable. 

“Get. Out.” he says again and shoves Jack down the hall,  _ hard.  _

“You don’t get to tell me what I should or shouldn’t have done because nobody could have done anything to stop this. You don’t get to tell me jack _shit,_ not when my best friend doesn’t even goddamn _recognize_ me-” his voice cracks and he shakes his head,

“Just go Jack. Get out.”

* * *

 

_ Everyone loves Smalls. _

_   
_ _ Why wouldn't they? _ _   
_ _   
_ _ She always had a smile to share, and her smiles were infectious. When she smiled, everyone else did too. A smile from her would make everyone's day better. She was lots of things. Whatever the boys needed. _ _   
_ _   
_ _ A friendly shove in the right direction for those who aren’t quite brave enough to recognize the signs themselves. _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Someone to come to whenever someone needed girl advice. Which to be honest wasn't much, but it still happened occasionally. _ _   
_ _   
_ _ (And she has an insane alcohol tolerance which means she ends up taking care of those who are lightweights, *cough cough* Spot and Albert) _ _   
_ _   
_ _ And speaking of being a shoulder to cry on and Albert... she'll never be done listening to him whine. _ _   
_ _   
_ __ But she does it all gladly. At least it seems like she does. But her story starts at the beginning.

 

Everyone loved Smalls. 

How could they not?

She smiled so much, even though she had so many reasons not to. She played so many roles in their little group. 

She took care of all of them. 

And she did it all gladly. Truly. But her story ends here. At least it does in the capacity that we know it. 

 

Smalls survives, and her memory does come back, in bits and pieces and some things that stay lost forever. Romeo, Specs, Elmer, Mush, Blink, and Albert all tell as many stories as they can remember, and every Friday is their standing pizza night and Disney movie day. Amelia joins them every once in a while, but never really says much. 

The police follow an anonymous tip to an apartment in the Bronx where they discover blood, among other things, and Matthew Beacon is arrested on June 10, and sentenced to five years in prison.

Jack apologizes, but things aren’t ever quite right between Elmer and Jack. He ends up leaving- he gets an offer from an institute in Paris, and him and Crutchie move about a year after the Incident. Spot, reminded of family and waiting too long, suprises Race with a trip back home, to Italy, to visit his family who he hadn’t seen in almost three years. It might be too late for him, but the look on Race’s face when he sees his younger siblings makes up for it. Race is the only family he’s ever needed anyway. Les gets to go home for months at a time, only going back to the hospital for checkups, and Davey makes sure he takes care of himself. Katherine ends up at the Jacobs’ a lot, for Les but also for Davey- as much as he hates to admit it, sometimes he could use some help or somewhere to put the thoughts stuck in his brain. Kath always listens. 

 

The hospital and the people in it are, at the surface, the same. But the differences that lurk below are multitudinous if anyone stops to look. Kids ask where Smalls is, and Dr. Cortes can’t really give them an answer. Itey is quieter, and sticks closer to Mike. Blink and Mush try not to let anything through at work, but home is an entirely different place, and sometimes, they fall apart. All of them feel just a bit older. 

 

Elmer is quieter too, and more careful in how he moves and what he says. New people often say he’s cold and calculating. Intimidating. He’s not. No one wants to correct them. Besides, Elmer doesn’t mind. At least they leave him alone. 

 

Everyone is fine. And nothing is okay. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i want to thank all of you so much for everything youve done for this fic


	22. The End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ITS FINALLY OVER

Sunlight filters through the curtains that hang haphazardly around the window overlooking the alleyway behind Romeo’s apartment building. New York City is on the cusp of winter, and the air has a bite to it that makes people want to stay in bed under the covers all day with something warm to drink and someone warm to hold. Smalls, Romeo, and Specs can do one better than that. This weekend had been one of the few that everything aligned. Race and Spot would be out of Romeo’s apartment, and had planned to go club hopping most of the night. It was also a rare weekend between shows for Specs, and one without much homework for all of them or work, Smalls and Specs had trekked to Romeo’s apartment for some well deserved time together. At least, spending some quality time together had been the plan. In actuality, they’d fallen asleep much too early and slept far too much. But hey, if no one else is there to call them out on being a couple of eighty-year olds at heart, then it doesn’t really matter, does it?

Eventually, Specs starts to pull away, and Smalls groans,

“ ‘s too early, go back to sleep,” she complains, wrapping an arm around his waist and pulling him closer. He laughs quietly,

“Smalls, I have to pee, let me go,” he says and she begrudgingly releases him, snuggling back into Romeo. He shifts, tracing his fingers restlessly over her ribs and down her sides, tracing the scar that runs from her hip to her shoulder lightly. He follows the lines of her tattoos, the five flowers on her side (they stood for elmer, mush, blink, herself, and someone else, she’d told them), the tiny rainbow on her hip. After a few minutes, Romeo breaks the silence,

“What does this mean?”

“What?” she asks sleepily,

“Tattoo,” he clarifies and Smalls laughs,

“Which one?”

“This one,” he says, tracing the words on her left collarbone.

“Taken Lightly,” he says softly.

“Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly. Devils fall as a product of their own gravity,” she recites and he blinks up at her,

“What?” she shrugs, running her fingers through his hair lightly,

“Just a thing Elmer and I used to say,” she yawns, “If you want to fly you have to be fundamentally light. If you hold onto everything, and never let anything go, you’ll end up stuck to the ground like a boulder.”

He laughs, and after a moment she does too.

“It’s kind of dumb, in retrospect,” she starts, but he cuts her off.

“No I like it. It’s very… you.” he says just as Specs walks back in and flops onto the bed,

“What are we talking about?” he asks lightly,

“Dumb tattoos,” Smalls answers and Specs laughs,

“Oh I’ve got one,” he says and after a moment he looks over to see both Romeo and Smalls looking at him incredulously.

“What?” he asks and they look at each other, then back at him,

“Since when do you have a tattoo?” Romeo asks and Specs laughs.

“Since the day I turned eighteen and wanted to prove I was an ‘adult’.” he says and Romeo reaches across Smalls, pushing his shirt up and reaching for the waistband of his boxers.

“Whoa hey, what-” Specs grabs his hand and Romeo looks up at him,

“Where is it?” he asks and Smalls giggles. Specs rolls his eyes, but shifts over, keeping his hand on Romeo’s and guides it to the inside of his left knee, running Romeo’s index finger over the barely visible outline of a four pointed star.

“Had to be somewhere I could hide it, of course. And small,” he starts but Smalls leans over Romeo,

“What is it?” she asks and Romeo elbows her,

“Hey you’re squashing me,” he complains, but both ignore him.

“‘S just a star,” Specs explains, “no real significance.”

“It was a prediction,” Smalls says, “You’ve always been destined to be a star.” she finishes and he flushes.

“It’s true,” Romeo says, poking Specs in the chest through his t-shirt. Specs pushes his hand away and shoves his face into a pillow. Romeo slides out from under Smalls and climbs on Specs, wrapping his arms around his waist and laying on his back. Specs groans and Romeo and Smalls laugh, until Specs suddenly rolls, dislodging Romeo, who falls into Smalls. Smalls is not prepared and almost falls off the edge of the bed, grabbing at Romeo's waist, which only serves to drag him off the bed as well. Specs’ face appears over the edge of the bed, only slightly concerned, and someone knocks loudly on the door.

“Shit, wai-” Romeo starts to say, but Spot opens the door anyway,

“Hey ya pint sized fucker, Race is making break-” at the sight of Romeo and Smalls on the floor and Specs stretched out across the entire bed, Spot breaks off,

“You couldn’t let us know they slept over? C’mon kid-”

“Hey, what’d I say about calling me kid-” Romeo interrupts and Spot raises an eyebrow,

“That you think it’s endearing and need I remind you I am three years older than you,” he says, shutting the door behind him without giving Romeo a chance to respond. They all just look at each other for a moment.

“Did he say food?” Specs asks and Romeo stumbles to his feet,

“Yeah, Race usually makes food for whoever’s here,” he explains, pulling Smalls up as well and sticking a hand out to Specs.

“How much will it take to get you to bring me some food without me having to move?” Specs asks, and Romeo threads his fingers through Specs’ hair. Smalls flops back onto the bed next to Specs and looks back up at Romeo,

“How much would it take to get you to bring us _both_ food?” she asks, and Romeo looks at them both incredulously.

“No way.” he says and lays back down on top of them.

“It’s too cold to be out of bed anyway, and how important is food?” Specs reasons and Smalls nods into the pillow. Romeo shifts and pulls the blankets back over them. After a few minutes someone pounds on the door again,

“Hey!” Race’s voice calls through the door, “No funny business while we’re home, come get food so your dads know you’re being good!”

“Shut up Dad, we’re just sleeping!” Romeo calls back and Specs muffles his laughter in the pillow.

“I made food,” Race says, “Don’t you want food?”

“We want to sleep,” Smalls mutters under her breath,

“Food is better than sleep!” Race yells through the door. Smalls stands up and whips open the door. Race had apparently been leaning on it, and he stumbles for a second before Smalls grabs his shoulders, turns him around and pushes him back towards the kitchen,

“Go make out with Spot, and let us oldies sleep.” she says and Race makes an indignant noise.

“Are you really arguing against making out with Spot?” Romeo asks from the bed. Race opens his mouth, then shuts it, and Smalls shuts the door in his face before walking back to Specs and Romeo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just want to thank yall for sticking with me through all of this. also! i am now taking requests for literally anything, since this is done. yall can request stuff in this universe, like scenes from different perspectives, stuff that was referenced but not explained, stuff happening after or before this fic, or just generic newsies stuff as well!

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on Tumblr @ racetrack-higgins-official!


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